


Alliance of Three

by Mystic_Whim



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 04:59:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 55,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13287513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Whim/pseuds/Mystic_Whim
Summary: Starsky introduces Hutch to the girl he intends to marry, and Hutch finds himself attracted to her as well.2nd Place Torino Award, Best Original Female Character (Juliana) 2002.3rd Place Torino Award, Best Long Story 2003





	1. Chapter 1

"He's gonna love ya, schweethart," Starsky insisted. "And I know you'll love him too."

Dave Starsky took Juliana's hands in his own and gave her his brightest smile. And what a smile! That grin instantly put her at ease, and distracted her uneasy thoughts.

He was incredibly excited today, and impatient as hell. Patience was not one of Starsky's strong points. His best friend was returning to town after being gone the entire summer, and he was anxious for him to meet the beguiling girl before him.

He paused a moment to admire the girl he held in his hands and in his heart. Juliana had long, dark curly hair and huge brown eyes. She was not tall, and Starsky towered over her. Her wide and friendly smile revealed her gentle nature, and her dark eyes sparkled with the love that dwelled there. She was a beauty, and completely unaware of it. Starsky knew that Hutch would like her, and he was dying to introduce them. He was also dying to tell him of his intention to marry this girl, though for now he would keep the information to himself, until the two had a chance to get to know each other.

"I'll have to trust you there," Juliana shrugged. "I'm just glad to finally meet this partner of yours." She tried to return his smile, but her nervousness showed through. "Do you really think he'll like me?"

The compassion shown in Starsky's eyes. "He'll love ya, Lee, I'm tellin' ya! Trust me. And you two already have something in common."

She cocked her head and eyed him with playful suspicion. "What's that?"

"Ya both love me," he replied simply, stealing a quick kiss. She smiled back, without the nervousness haunting her any longer, and folded herself into his arms.

"I do love you Davey," she murmured, pulling his head down to kiss her a little more forcibly. They were still wrapped in this kiss when they heard the distant slam of a car door.

"He's here," Starsky whispered, barely pulling his lips away. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Juliana released him, and sat down in the patio chair, trying to prepare herself to meet the man she had heard so much about these past several months.

Ken Hutchinson walked up the driveway away from his battered old car. He walked quickly, glad to be home and happy to be seeing his friend again. The summer had done him good. He was tan and fit, and feeling a satisfaction about his life that he hadn't felt in a while.

Things hadn't been going well prior to his trip to Minnesota. Ken and Dave had both been through a rough year. Starsky had been gunned down in the parking garage at the station and nearly died. His hospital stay was endless, and his recovery was slow and painful, physically and mentally. Ken had been at Starsky's side through the entire struggle, even moving in with him and providing his only nursing care when he was released. They had worked and fought against his injuries, toward his eventual recovery. They had even fought against each other at times. But in the end, they came through victorious. Starsky was well on the road to regaining most of what the shooting had taken away from him, and their friendship had grown closer and stronger from the battle. There had been tolls on them both, and in the end, Starsky had finally pushed for Hutch to get away for a while. He suggested that Hutch go back to school, and to visit his family, and to that end encouraged him to spend the summer semester back in his old homestead in Minnesota. Hutch had been weary, and put up little fight. He eventually warmed to the idea of going back to school and of seeing his family again. He was unaware of how much Starsky needed him to leave, needed to withdraw from the dependence on his partner, and how much Hutch needed to be away from it as well.

After Starsky had gotten out of the hospital he had gone to college himself, and Hutch had been a little envious. When Starsky had suggested he go back too, and at his old alma mater nonetheless, Hutch had finally embraced the idea.

His classes had gone extremely well, and would enhance his chances should he try to take the Lieutenants exam. After all the two friends had been through, Hutch really felt the need to reach out to his family, and at least try to work on his relationships there. He had made some connections with his folks and his sister, and felt closer to them than he had in many years. The entire sabbatical had been very satisfying on many levels. He was now ready to tackle his future.

Hutch came around the back of Starsky's house, and finally laid eyes on the friend he hadn't seen in several months. He walked up and grabbed his partner in a tight bear hug without saying a word. He pulled back and examined his friends face, as if memorizing it, smiling and happy. Then he stepped back, almost unwillingly, and surveyed Starsky from head to toe. "God it's good to see you," was all he could manage to say.

Starsky laughed. "Admit it, you missed me!"

"You know, I did miss you, you big lug!" and he grabbed him in another bear hug, squeezing a bit too tight. "You look great. You're gaining weight."

"Uh, Hutch? A little air here?" Starsky squeaked.

Hutch laughed as he let go. "You're getting to be such a wuss, Starsk!"

Starsky smacked him on the shoulder and said, "Hang on, I'll get you a beer. But first, I want you to meet somebody. Somebody very special to me. Come meet Juliana." He grinned and led his friend to the table where Juliana was seated.

Juliana stood up as they approached and finally got a good look at Hutch in person. He was taller than she expected, maybe an inch or two taller than Starsky, and arm in arm as they were, she was so aware of the contrasts between them. Hutch was very fair, with boyish good looks and a refined manner to him, nearly opposite Starsky's dark and sexy looks, and his rougher streetwise manner. Both were very handsome men, and together they were overwhelming.

Juliana gave him her sincerest smile and said softly, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Ken. I have heard so much about you."

"The pleasure is all mine," Ken replied kissing the back of her hand, then yanked her into a big bear hug too. "Hey, I appreciate you keeping this guy out of trouble while I was away."

Juliana stepped back and shook her head. "Ken, I couldn't keep this guy out of trouble for the life of me. Trouble seems to find him!"

Hutch laughed and agreed, "Yes it does. We both seem to carry that curse." Then he added, "Please, call me Hutch."

The three caught up on time spent apart, and had a wonderful time. They cooked out on the grill and drank far too much beer. Starsky was delighted that they all got along as if they had been a threesome since the beginning of time. When the evening had worn down to a close, it was Juliana that insisted Hutch spend the night, and went off to prepare a place for him to sleep.

Starsky slapped his friend on the chest. "So buddy, what do you think of Juliana?"

Hutch shook his head in wonder. "She's remarkable, Starsk. Quite a beauty. And bright! What the hell is she doing with you?" He playfully returned his friend's slap on the chest. Starsky plopped himself down on the grass and Hutch joined him.

"I don't know, Blintz, but I ain't gonna argue." Starsky was lying back, hands behind his head, lounging happily. Hutch stretched out on his back perpendicular to his friend and laid his head on his friend's stomach. The two men were looking up at the stars, and silently enjoying each other's company. "I'm really glad you're back, Hutch."

"I'm glad to be back, Starsk."

Juliana had returned to find them still lying in the grass, Hutch's head on Starsky's belly. They had both fallen asleep. She shook her head and quietly laughed at the unexpected sight. Instead of getting them up and bringing them inside, she curled up against Starsky's free side, and gently laid an arm across his stomach with her hand resting on Hutch's chest. They peacefully slept like that for a couple hours before the night chill woke them up and drove them inside.

 

******************************************************************

 

Hutch awoke the next morning, coaxed from his slumber by an enticing aroma. First the coffee scent nudged him to alertness, but the incredible smell of breakfast cooking was impossible to ignore.

Rising and sitting on the edge of the bed, he dragged his hand across his face and tried to shake off the remnants of an unsettling dream. The dream had been about Juliana, and this disturbed him and left him in a surly mood. He realized he had been smitten with her as soon as he laid eyes on her, but he refused to even entertain the thought. Chalking it up to the flowing beer, and his inadequate love life as of late, he vowed to make an attempt to improve the latter.

Grabbing the towels that Juliana had left on the dresser, he headed for the shower. On the bathroom counter, he found a glass, a bottle of aspirin, a comb, a razor, shaving cream, a new toothbrush and toothpaste all lined up waiting for him. Even the brands were right. Hutch smiled and grabbed the aspirin first.

As he got himself cleaned up and presentable again, his mood improved greatly. He found his way to the kitchen, and the heavenly smells that had awoken him were even better. Juliana was busy at the stove, but turned and gave him a brilliant smile.

"Good morning!" she greeted him happily.

Hutch's voice was a bit more subdued. "Good morning, Jul. Something smells wonderful in here." Inhaling deeply, he peeked over her shoulder to see what she was making.

"Go sit down, Hutch," she ordered. "I have health food for you too."

He was disappointed. "Jul, you have been teasing me with these smells all morning. Please don't tell me I can't eat any of this. It smells great!"

Smiling, she shooed him away and directed him to the kitchen table. "Of course you can eat this, but it's not done yet." She pulled a small fruit salad from the fridge and placed it before him. Then she turned on the blender, whipping up a yogurt smoothie for him to drink. "Starsky couldn't tell me what's in those shakes you drink for breakfast, so I had to improvise." She poured her mixture into a tall glass and sprinkled wheat germ on top of it. Then she popped in a straw and set it before him.

"You didn't have to go to so much trouble!" Hutch told her. "I do eat Starsky food on occasion, and have been known to enjoy it. Just don't tell _him_ I said that."

She handed him a pad of paper and a pen, and instructed him, "Write down your recipe for those shakes. Dave said you drink liquid fish, butterfly bones and firefly butts, so if you don't give me the right recipe you just might end up with that for breakfast some morning," she teased.

Hutch pretended her concoction sounded tasty. "Firefly butts?" His eyebrows arched. "With fish? Mmmmm." She giggled.

"I'll keep a stock of your ingredients in the kitchen. He lets me do most of the grocery shopping now, so I can make sure you have what you need."

"He _lets_ you, huh?" Hutch smiled. "I appreciate that. Were you responsible for the supplies in the bathroom too?"

She nodded. "Starsky told me all the brands you use. I wanted to be sure you felt as home here as you did before. You'll also find a few changes of clothes in your size in the dresser."

He took another spoonful of fruit salad, then started jotting down his recipe. "How come you are so sunny this morning? Didn't you drink as much as we did?"

"Oh heavens no," she laughed. "I had far less than you two did."

"Sounds like you were the only sensible one last night." He finished writing down the recipe, and then finished up his fruit. Juliana took away his bowl and replaced it with a plate of omelets and American fries. "Ah! This looks delicious!" He ate with vigor. "Where is Starsky? Still in bed?"

"He was hurting pretty badly," she giggled. "He said he can't drink like he used to."

Hutch chuckled. "That's probably a good thing. I can't believe he can sleep when this food smells so good!" Then he added, "And it tastes even better than it smells."

Juliana's eyes twinkled. "Thanks. I think he'll be down soon. I thought I heard him up, just before you came in."

Starsky sauntered into the kitchen. "Good morning," he greeted them both.

"Perfect timing," Juliana announced, placing a heaping plate in front of him.

"Thanks babe," Starsky kissed her, then dove his fork into the plate. "Hutch, this girl can cook, can't she?" He moaned in delight at the first mouthful.

"That she can," Hutch agreed. "No wonder you are finally gaining weight. How's your head this morning?"

Starsky groaned. "Don't ask. And my stomach's not too happy either."

Juliana joined the two men at the table with her own plate, and the three ate quietly for a while. Starsky nudged her and said, "My mom used to tell me that you could always tell when the food was good because everyone was so quiet. Too busy eatin'."

"Your mom is a wise woman, Starsk," Ken said between mouthfuls. Finally he pushed the plate a few inches away and patted his belly. "I just can't finish this, Jul. It's wonderful, but I'm stuffed!"

Without taking her eyes off of her own dish, Juliana grabbed his plate and placed it in front of Starsky, who had finished his own, and was now happy to finish Hutch's. Hutch smiled at his friend. It was great to see his appetite had returned with a vengeance. He was beginning to resemble his old self, before the shooting, before the long recovery, before the frustration and the depression.

The recovery had been hard on them both. The hospital had been a nightmare, and the very sight of the place was a constant reminder to Hutch of just how close he came to losing his partner, his best friend. Starsky's heart had stopped at one point, and he had to be resuscitated. Anything associated with that building made him feel helpless and grief-stricken. The day David left the hospital was the happiest day Hutch could ever remember.

While Starsky was still in critical condition, Hutch had gone out and rented a house for the two of them. It was a ranch style, with a huge back yard and plenty of space. Hutch insisted on moving in with Starsky, and demanded that he be the main caregiver to his recovering friend. The only nurse he would allow was one the doctor recommended to stop by the house periodically. Starsky had been shocked at his adamant refusal to let anyone else take care of him, but found it empowered him. The two had been through a lot together on the police force, and he had faith they could get through anything together.

It had been a rocky road for Starsky. The frustration at being unable to do what he used to take for granted. The depression over what he had lost. The fear that he would never be what he was, that he may even have to give up his dreams and his very identity; being a policeman was part of who he was as a man. The physical weakness that ate away at his emotional strength. The anger. The loneliness and isolation. Sometimes he would fight with Hutch, terrible hurtful fights. But somehow they came through that stronger than before. And more and more often, the little victories would surface. Meeting a goal that had been elusive. Finding humor at even the most humiliating moments. Hope. An unshakable determination. Faith, in himself, in his friend, in their abilities together. His body strengthening, healing. Their friendship that had grown boundless.

When Starsky had finally reached the point where he didn't need constant care, he forced a reluctant Hutch move back to his own place. Then he called the landlord and bought the ranch house with his life savings. After coming back from the dead in this house, it had felt like too much of a home for him to ever leave it again.

Now Starsky sat at this kitchen table, stronger, healthier, happy. He had direction in his life, and a woman by his side. So much had changed since those shots that rang out in that parking lot. And there was a new confidence about him. He knew just what he was capable of now, and it showed in his whole bearing. Not a cockiness, but a quiet and irrefutable certainty that he knew his strength and his definition. His very spirit shone in his eyes.

Hutch must have been staring at his partner. Starsky's eyes twinkled as he said, "Hutch! You're lookin' at me like ya never saw me before!"

He was quiet a moment before answering, and Juliana had joined Starsky in looking to Hutch for an explanation. "I don't think I ever have really seen you before," he answered quietly. He locked eyes with his partner. _You've changed, buddy. It suits you._ Starsky nodded almost imperceptibly, and smiled broadly.

"Will you two please use words when I'm around?" Juliana chided them.

The men chuckled. Then Hutch was lost in thought. "Starsk, we never discussed it last night. Have you given any thought to what you want to do about work?" He assumed they would soon want to put Starsky before the review board, to decide his fate. It was a toss up whether they would allow him to return to active duty or not.

Juliana's head shot up, and she quickly looked to Starsky. He winked at her, and she promptly jumped up from the table. Starsky's face was lit up with that 1000 watt smile, his eyes sparkling mischievously.

"You look like the cat that swallowed the canary," Hutch observed. Starsky didn't reply. Juliana returned with an envelope and handed it to Starsky. He shook his head, then gave a nod to Hutch. She brought the envelope over to Hutch and placed it in front of him. Then she sat down to watch his reaction.

Both sets of eyes were glued to Hutch, as he reached for the envelope from the BCPD. He opened the letter and read the mysterious document.

"Oh my God!" Hutch jumped from the table and ran to Starsky. "Congratulations!" he sputtered, pulling him from his chair and crushing him in a bear hug. "Lieutenant David Starsky!"

There were tears in Juliana's eyes as she watched the two embrace. The display was pure unadulterated joy.

Hutch pulled away from his partner and gave him a salute, which Starsky proudly returned. "Tell me what happened!" Hutch happily demanded. "God, I can't believe you didn't tell me! This is dated over a month ago!" He shook the letter at him.

Starsky took the letter and returned to his seat at the table. "It was the Cap'n. He started this," he responded, looking the letter over once again. "Before you went to Minnesota. One night he asked Huggy to get you out of the house, and he came over to talk to me. He brought up the Lieutenants exam, and said he thought I should take it. At first I blew it off, thinking I didn't have a chance. I gave him a whole bunch of reasons why it was a waste of time. He listened too, without saying a word. Then he asked if I was through. When I said yeah, he started to talk, talked for a long time. He told me what a good cop I was, and how proud he was of me and my work. Told me he had faith in me, knew I could pass the exam. He said that all of my experience and my common sense were more valuable to the force than any college education I could have received."

"Of course he said that, Starsk," Hutch said gently. "We all feel that way. You know that. I've told you that I knew you could pass the exam."

"Yeah, but you KNOW me, Hutch. It really hit me to hear it from the Cap because he doesn't know me like you do. It made me think. I told him that it may come down to me being unable to come back to work, but he said that's all the more reason to do this now. If they retired me, then I would be eligible for a better pension, better benefits, as a Lieutenant. Then he tells me that he's gonna help me. He says he knows of a guy that will give you practice tests, like the exam, to get you used to the kind of questions they ask, and to find out where you need to study. He hired the guy to come tutor me. I felt like a high school kid cramming for his SATs. I told you he was my study partner from school, but he was really the tutor the Cap hired."

Hutch's eyes widened. Starsky had been taking courses at the college, and had been studying a couple times a week with a classmate. "John was your tutor for the exam?"

Starsky nodded. "He wasn't really in my college classes. We just worked on the practice exams, and we'd see where I messed up, then we'd study those areas. By the time the real test came up, I was ready for it." He was grinning proudly. "Since then, Dobey has been trying to put off the review board as long as he can, trying to give me as much time as possible before I get my review, so I can build up my strength and stamina."

"I don't get it Starsky." Hutch shook his head. "Why all the secrecy? Why didn't you tell me?"

Shrugging, Starsky explained. "I wasn't so certain that I would pass. I didn't want to get your hopes up. Besides, Cap'n said you would never take that test unless I passed it first."

There was guilt in Hutch's eyes as he grinned. "Yeah, okay, I probably wouldn't have. But you didn't have to hide this from me. I would have been supportive, I would have helped you."

"But it was so much more fun to see the look on your face," Starsky beamed. He caught his friend's eyes. _I know you would have helped me, pal. I needed to do this alone. I needed to do this without fear of letting you down._

Hutch returned his look. _I know why you did this Starsk. But you know you wouldn't have let me down._

Juliana cleared her throat, and the two broke eye contact. Hutch asked the couple, "So when are we going to celebrate?"

"When _you_ pass," they answered together.

"Oh, no pressure there," Hutch winced. "You know I'm not going to accept that. This is too big. How about Friday at the Pits? I'll call Huggy and set it up."

Starsky got up from the table and started to leave the kitchen. "No." There was a flash of icy determination in those blue eyes.

"Starsky..."

"NO!" He disappeared from sight.

Juliana stopped him from following Starsky. "You know he won't change his mind, Hutch. Let him have this. He is not going to want to celebrate until you can do it together."

They had celebrated promotions together before, but they had also taken the exams together before. Hutch sighed and resigned himself to the notion that this was a battle that he wouldn't win. He resolved to find a way to acknowledge his partner's personal achievement. This wasn't simply a passing grade on a police exam. Gunther's bullets had taken everything away from Starsky, but slowly, step by step, he had been taking everything back, everything that was his. His body, his health, his strength, his job, his security, his life. To hell with Gunther's bullets, nothing was going to keep this man down.

The emotions were playing across Hutch's face as he thought about all that Starsky had accomplished in the past several months. Juliana saw it in his eyes, and reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. "This isn't about a party to celebrate his promotion, is it?"

He looked into her eyes, struggling to find words. "I'm so happy for him Jul, and so proud of everything he has accomplished. I have never met anyone with more strength and more heart. I wish I had half of his courage. I'm honored to _know_ him, let alone be his partner and his friend. And I have no idea how to tell him this."

"I think you just did," Starsky said quietly. He had been standing in the entrance to the kitchen, unnoticed until now. He had an embarrassed smile on his face to match his misty eyes.

Hutch walked up to his friend and embraced him. Starsky pulled away and complained, "Come on Hutch. You know I hate soapy scenes."

With an equally misty smile, Hutch patted Starsky on the shoulder. "Yeah, well, you'll get over it. Besides, this one was long overdue."


	2. Chapter 2

Hutch had returned to work shortly after his return from Minnesota. He had been assigned a desk job since Starsky was injured, allowing for him to have extremely flexible hours, and more importantly, no temporary partner. He had refused the captain's many attempts to set him up with another partner and get him back on the streets. Dobey had pretty much agreed to give the two detectives whatever time and help they needed. He had been a godsend to them both.

Four weeks later, Hutch took the Lieutenant's exam and passed as well. They had the promised party at The Pits, with all of their friends in attendance.

 

Starsky, Juliana and Hutch had all become very close. They were all constantly together, and had been nicknamed The Triplets by their friend Huggy. The bond between the partners had never bothered Juliana, and she took the shared time together in stride.

Hutch, a cardiologist, and a physical therapist had worked with Starsky to improve his strength and stamina. He was not back to where he was prior to the shooting, but he had come very far. There was doubt as to whether he would ever completely come back; the bullets had just done too much damage. But they hoped to get him to the point where he was considered physically able to do his job effectively. Now it was up to the review board.

The night before the review, The Triplets were seated at Starsky's patio table. They were all quiet, concerned about Starsky's fate.

Hutch tried to be optimistic for his friend, "Starsky, it will all work out. It has to. They have to approve you for street duty. They can't ignore how far you have come."

Doubtful, Starsky shook his head. "I don't know Hutch. You read the cardiologist's report to them. It was not exactly a glowing recommendation. Same with the pulmonologist. They pretty much said it was possible for me to return to the streets, but it would involve some risk."

"But shouldn't it be up to you, if you want to take that kind of risk?" Juliana asked.

"No," Starsky admitted. "Not when I'm Hutch's backup. If I collapse or have a heart attack, it leaves him vulnerable. I could be putting his life on the line, not just my own."

"There's not much we can do about it at this point," Hutch reasoned. "You have put in all the hard work, you have gotten yourself into as good a physical condition as you are able. Now we just have to wait and see what they say."

"What do _you_ say, Hutch?" Starsky asked bluntly.

Hutch was perplexed. " _What do **I** say?_ You know I think you are ready Starsk. You're strong, you're healthy..."

Starsky shook his head. "No. How do you feel about having me as a partner?"

The question surprised the other two. Juliana reached over and placed her hand on David's. She knew this was the only question that mattered to him.

Hutch sat back in his chair, knocked out by the question. "How can you ask that, Starsky?"

Starsky's eyes were locked on Hutch's. "It's a valid question, Hutch. An important question. I'm not the same man that has worked as your partner for all these years. I can't do what I did before. I may never be able to. My health, or lack of it, could compromise you. I need to know how you feel about that."

Hutch's eyes turned a deep and cold blue. His teeth clenched and his hands curled into fists. His eyes frightened Juliana, but had little effect on Starsky, who held his gaze. His voice was tight and controlled as he answered. "I want no one else as my partner, Starsky. I trust no one but you. I have trusted you with my life, and I see no reason to stop now. And I am not going back on those streets without you." There was a long silence between them, then Starsky nodded.

"Then I can live with whatever decision they come up with. That was all I needed to hear."

Unable to hold back her tears, Juliana left the table. She wanted to give them this time alone.

Hutch relaxed, and stretched his feet out, then put them up one at a time onto the armrest of Starsky's chair. Starsky propped his own feet onto Juliana's vacant chair, and sat back relaxed as well. They sat in companionable silence for the rest of the evening.

The following morning the review board met. Starsky was present, and Hutch had been permitted to attend, though he was never questioned. The doctors' findings were all read and evaluated, as was the statement from Capt. Dobey and Starsky himself. Finally the board reached a decision.

They informed Starsky that he was not approved for street duty.

Capt. Dobey looked deflated, but Starsky took the news with a measure of acceptance. Hutch was livid. He abruptly stood and strode to the front of the room and confronted the members of the board. His expression was intense. The anger in his eyes froze every one of them to their seats.

His voice was powerful as he spoke to the men who had sealed his partner's fate. "You can't do this. You have made the wrong decision. Look at his record. Lt. David Starsky is an incredible asset to this police force. His record is stellar. His accomplishments are nothing short of remarkable. And look again at those medical records. He has fought his way back from incredible devastation, to come to you a stronger and more courageous human being than when he started. Do you have any idea how much guts it takes to do that? If you worry about his heart giving out in a chase, remember just how much heart it took for him to fight back in that hospital room. If you worry about his lungs giving out, remember how much breath it took for him to go through physical therapy for nearly a year. You can't just look at clinical descriptions on a piece of paper. You need to listen to what he told you. You need to know that he is willing to take the small chance that his health may be compromised by his work. A cop lives with risk every moment he is on the street. This is no different from any other risk he takes."

"But you would be at risk as well, Lt. Hutchinson," the Commissioner commented. "Your life could be jeopardized by your partner's inability to perform his duty."

"That is a negligible risk, and one I am happy to take."

"You are not the only other police officer that Lt. Starsky works with. This is a _community_ of police officers, Lt. Hutchinson, and you all work together. If a risk is present with one, it is present with all. We can't assume everyone's acceptance of this risk. This decision is not to permanently ban Lt. Starsky from duty. He will be able to continue police work, but not on the street. In time, if his medical condition should improve, he is free to petition the board for another review. In the meantime, we must stick with our decision based on the information presented at this review. Lt. Starsky is indeed a very good police officer, and his skills are still quite valuable to us. But we cannot in good conscience risk his life, or any other officer who works with him. I'm very sorry Lt. Hutchinson, and I am sorry Lt. Starsky. The decision is final."

Starsky had come up behind Hutch and laid his hand upon Hutch's shoulder. Hutch turned and faced him with all of the anger still alive in his eyes. As he locked eyes with his partner, the anger faded, replaced with sadness and resignation. Starsky nodded to the exit, and the two walked out of the room with their arms about their shoulders, followed by Capt. Dobey. Once in the hallway, Dobey patted the two on the back from behind, and gently pushed them toward the exit. "I don't expect to see either of you back here until Monday," he said softly. Without a word the pair walked straight out of the building.

Dobey had phoned Juliana and explained the findings of the review board. She was terribly disappointed, but more concerned with David's reaction. Dobey told her that he took the news pretty well, but Hutch had not, and described his speech to the board. Then he told her that the pair had left, but he suspected they would not go straight home. "I think they may go lick their wounds first."

They returned to Starsky's house several hours later. As Starsky walked into the living room, Juliana walked straight into his arms. Hutch walked up and put his forehead to Starsky's head, and wrapped his arms around them both. They silently commiserated.

After a while, they all sat down and discussed what had happened at the review board, and what they did after leaving Dobey. The two had gone to the beach and talked about where they were going to go from there. At one point, in their anger and frustration, they had tossed their badges into the ocean, deciding to walk away from their jobs.

"You're both going to quit?" Juliana asked in surprise.

Starsky shook his head. "No, we were reacting to the heat of the moment." He grinned sheepishly.

"We are going to make some changes though," Hutch replied. "I'm going to start seriously working with my music in my off hours. Starsky is going to finish his education. We're both going to revamp our resumes, too. We've been thinking about special teams, hostage negotiation, teaching, and other pursuits. We don't have to be locked into Metro. Plus there is always working for the Feds..."

"CIA..." Starsky added. They both chuckled at the thought.

They did seem in better spirits than when they had left the station. Actually, Starsky didn't seem shook up at all about the decision. Hutch struggled with it at times, but a calm had descended on his partner.

Finally Juliana had come right out and asked, "David, how are you handling this? You don't seem very upset."

"I'm not upset," he admitted. "I had expected this decision."

"Come on Starsk," Hutch backhanded him against his chest. "You said right from the beginning that you were going to work to get back on the streets. This was your goal. You were going to get that approval from the board or die trying."

"I know what I said," Starsky replied. "But I realized somethin' last night. When you told me that you'd take me as your partner, I was satisfied. I'd reached my goal. I didn't need the damn approval from a bunch of strangers. I'd already made it back, if you were willing to work with me. I mean, sure, I'd love to get back on the streets again, but that ain't what I was fighting for. I was fighting to take back what Gunther took from me. I'm still a cop. Hell, I'm a Lieutenant now. He didn't take that from me. But we weren't partners anymore. Last night I knew we were still partners. That's what I wanted."

Hutch stared at him for a long time. _We never stopped being partners, Starsky. We just fought a different battle together._

Starsky silently responded. _Last night and this morning you were willing to have me cover your back. Lately you've only been covering mine._

Hutch lifted his beer to Starsky, who clinked it with his own.

"So what are you going to do with your music?" Juliana asked Hutch.

Starsky grinned from ear to ear. "He's gonna put together a demo tape!"

His partner was blushing. "And hire an agent," he added.

Juliana was delighted. "I'm happy for you Hutch! I really think you will have wonderful success with your music."

 

******************************************************************

 

Hutch was chuckling as they crossed the living room to the sliding patio doors. "I can't believe you did that Starsk."

They had just returned from the baseball game, and Starsky had used a unique method for getting a good parking spot.

"What?" Starsky asked, all innocence.

"That business card! Where did you get that thing anyway?"

His innocent expression turned to all smile. "From Charlie at work. His brother owns a print shop."

"I can't believe you gave that to the parking attendant!" Hutch acted exasperated, but he was laughing too.

"What? So I gave him a business card for a Dr. Horseshitter, MD. Big deal! I asked him to give us a good parking spot, and he did, didn't he? Right on the end of the isle by the exit. We were out of there in a flash!" Starsky was laughing too. "I have another card for Dr. Shitthiemer, proctologist."

"You realize that he thinks you are a gynecologist now, right?" Hutch sat down on the patio and took a swig of his beer. "I loved the slogan: _At your cervix_ ," he chuckled. "Why didn't you just flash your badge and ask for a good parking spot?"

Starsky shrugged. "This was more fun, don't ya think?"

The talk turned to events of the game, and they were heavily discussing what the best play of the game was when Juliana returned from shopping, so they didn't hear her come in. She proceeded to put the groceries in the fridge.

Finally Starsky turned to Hutch and changed the subject to a more serious topic. "Hutch, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. It's about Juliana. I'm thinking of askin' her to marry me."

Hutch's head shot up. "Marriage?"

His friend nodded and smiled. "Yeah. She's the one, Hutch. She's the one."

Hutch looked down. "That's great Starsk. I'm real happy for you both."

Starsky raised an eyebrow. "You don't look happy about it, buddy."

Hutch looked up. "I'm sorry Starsky. I'm just a little concerned, that's all. You two haven't been together all that long. It seems like you are rushing it."

"I know it seems soon, but I know what I want and she's it."

"Why the rush? You've only known her, what...six months?"

"What do you think of her, Hutch? What do you think of the two of us together?"

"You know I like her, Starsk," Hutch responded. "She's a great girl. But I've only known her a short time. It's too soon. I think it would be a mistake to jump into this."

Starsky tried to catch his friend's eyes, but Hutch would not meet his gaze. "I know all I need to know. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her. What are ya worried about Hutch? Is there somethin' you're not telling me?"

Hutch smacked his beer on the table in frustration. "No! There's nothing I'm not telling you. It's just that you've been through a lot in the past year, a lot of changes, and I'm afraid you are not thinking things through clearly. I just want you to slow down, that's all! I'm worried you could be making a mistake with her. I don't know her that well Starsky. I am not so sure she's good enough for you."

It was at this moment the both heard the clatter. Juliana had been just inside the patio door, and the screen had hidden her from their view. She had been carrying out another round of beers for them when she overheard Starsky and Hutch discussing her. Hutch's last comment made her deposit the beers on the table next to the door, and rush for her purse.

"Lee!" Starsky cried and jumped from his chair. Hutch jumped up too, but Starsky stopped him. "I'll get her!" and with that he ran through the sliding door into the house. Hutch caught a glimpse of Juliana, and saw the hurt and the tears in her large brown eyes.

Hutch sank back into his chair. "Dammit!" He could hear Juliana crying and Starsky talking to her in soothing tones. Soon it was quiet and he knew they had both left the house.

He entered the house and grabbed the beers that were set on the table by the door. He opened one and downed it in a smooth lift, then opened the second one and began to drink that in a slower pace. Taking a seat on the couch, he berated himself for saying anything at all. _I should have kept my mouth shut!_ The image of Juliana's tear-filled eyes haunted him. Hutch had been aware that he was falling in love with the girl, but he didn't realize just how bad it had gotten until he had heard Starsky announce his plans to marry her. The statement had shocked him and caught him completely off guard. _I should have seen this coming. I knew how he felt about her, it was bound to happen eventually. What the hell is the matter with me?!_

The jealousy had flared up in him before he had a chance to reign it in. He hated himself for falling for her, and he hated that he interfered with their relationship like that. He had tried to forget her, tried to ignore his feelings for her from the beginning. But they were still there and stronger than ever. The women he had been dating had been a temporary distraction, but none could make him forget. And none could compare. Hutch vowed to drop this crazy infatuation and stand behind his two friends from this point on.

A short time later, Starsky returned alone. "She wouldn't come back?" he asked. Starsky shook his head. He sat down next to Hutch and took the half empty beer from his hand to finish himself. "I'm sorry Starsk," Hutch began. "I never should have said those things to you."

"I wouldn't have asked you if I had known she was here," Starsky confessed. "I wanted your honest opinions, Hutch. You have nothing to be sorry for. It was an accident that she heard us. Bad timing. I know you didn't intend to hurt her."

Hutch stood up. "I never should have said those things to you, Starsky. I didn't mean them. I do worry about you rushing into things, but I know that Juliana is a wonderful girl. I have no doubts about her." He patted his friend on the shoulder and started to walk to the door. "I'll talk to her. I'll try to explain." Then he left.

He headed straight for Juliana's apartment. He knocked on the door, then leaned his hand against the doorframe, hoping she would open the door.

"Who is it?" she asked tentatively through the door.

"Jul, it's me, Hutch."

There was a moment's hesitation, then the door opened slowly. She had stood aside so that he could come in. She did not greet him.

Hutch walked into her living room, then turned to face her. It was obvious she had just been crying. Her eyes were pink and her cheeks stained with tears. But she held her head high, and stood with pride before him. The weight of his guilt pressed down harder on his shoulders and he slouched beneath it. "Jul, I owe you an apology," he said softly.

"I don't understand this Ken," she answered. "I'm confused. I thought we were friends."

"We ARE friends," he replied lamely.

"You just told my boyfriend that you didn't think I was _good enough_ for him! That I might be a _mistake!'_ The tears flooded her eyes again. "You claimed you didn't know me that well. What am I supposed to say to this, Ken? If you don't know me by now, you never will! I have been open and honest with you. I have shared myself and my boyfriend and my relationship with you. How much better do you need to know me, Ken? What do you need to know?!"

"Jul! Please!" Hutch pleaded. "Hear me out!"

She sat on her couch and buried her face in her hands. There was a tissue box on the table and Hutch handed one to her. He sat beside her and laid a gentle hand on her back. He felt the tension dissolve under his touch, and he tried talking to her once again. "Jul, I am sorry. I talked to Dave before coming here. I told him I was wrong. I told him you were a wonderful girl and that I had no doubts about you."

She looked at him to see if she could see the truth in his eyes. "Why, Ken? Why did you try to interfere like that? Why don't you trust me? You _know_ Davey listens to you, that he trusts you absolutely. To tell him that you don't know about me, that I may not be good enough for him, that would be enough to sabotage my position with him. Why do you dislike me so much? Did I ever give you reason to doubt me? To sabotage me?"

"No, Jul, you didn't."

Juliana's eyes filled with tears again. "The funny thing is, I agree with what you said to him." She laughed as she sobbed.

Hutch was confused. "What do you mean you agree with me?"

"What you said about him rushing things," she responded. "I agree. I am worried about it too. We have been talking about getting married, and I have been telling him to slow down. I know how much trauma his life has been through. The shooting, the new house, the recovery, the physical therapy, going back to college, his promotion, being taken off the streets... His whole life has been turned around. And I know how dependent he had been on you while he was recovering. Then I met him right after you left for Minnesota. He was alone then, without his safety net. I realize that. I tried to keep my distance in the beginning. I tried to give him his space. But he is a pretty persistent man!"

This made Hutch smile. "Yes, he can be rather stubborn and impatient. He's hard to say no to."

A genuine smile came to Juliana's lips. "Yes, that's right. But I can be stubborn too. You can trust me, Ken. I'm not going to push him into marriage. Nor am I going to let him rush us into it. I want him to be sure, and I am willing to wait. If you had just spoken to me about it, I may have been able to ease your concerns. Instead you just shot me down..." The tears started to return.

Rubbing her back, Hutch spoke reassuringly. "You haven't been shot down, Jul. Starsky has a mind of his own. Even I don't have that much influence over him, especially not where you are concerned. And you don't have to worry about me. I will make this right. I won't interfere with your relationship again, I promise you." He gathered her in his arms and held her until she stopped crying. "Please forgive me, Juliana," his voice almost a whisper.

She faced him and tried to smile. "On one condition," she said, as Hutch raised an eyebrow. "You confront me if you have any more concerns. Give me a chance."

"Agreed," Hutch exhaled. He hadn't realized he was holding his breath.

Softly she responded, "You're forgiven."

Standing, he offered her a hand. "Come back to the house. Starsky is worried about you. I'll go home and give you some time alone. Please."

"You go ahead, Hutch. I'll freshen up first." She flashed a weak smile, and he gave her a quick hug then quickly walked out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

November came around quickly, and the trio had been getting along wonderfully. The tension from the discussion of marriage had dissipated rapidly. Hutch had shown nothing but support of their relationship, and even offered to go with Starsky to pick out a ring. Starsky declined his offer, but was happy that his friend had jumped on Juliana's bandwagon.

Hutch had hired an agent, and had been working in some clubs around Bay City singing. He had submitted a song that he wrote to be considered for the local Bay City Home Grown album, with the proceeds going to charity. His song was picked for the album, much to the delight of The Triplets. It was good publicity, and it brought larger crowds to his gigs.

Starsky was hard at work on another semester's classes, and his grades were excellent. The courses were easy for him, and he found himself able to test out of some courses. He was making real headway on his degree.

Juliana had finally regained her trust in Hutch, and had gotten past the bad feelings created by his comments to Starsky. The three were together as before, but this time with their future as an expectation. Thanksgiving was finally upon them, and the threesome felt they all had a great deal to be thankful for this year.

Hutch entered the house to find a wreath on the front door, and a Christmas tree in the den, complete with all the festive decorations. The fireplace had been strung with evergreen garland and red bows, and Juliana was busy hanging an advent calendar on the kitchen wall. "Good God, Starsky. You've corrupted her." He shook his head disapprovingly at his partner.

"Hutch, you wound me!" Starsky placed his hand over his heart. "I had nothin' to do with this, buddy. It's all her."

Doubtful, Hutch glared at his friend. "Starsk, nobody does Christmas this early. I know this is your influence."

Juliana waltz into the room singing a Christmas carol. Hutch whirled about and held up a finger. "No you don't! No Christmas carols in November!" He wiggled his finger toward her. "You two will not torture me for weeks on end with holiday songs."

She stopped in her tracks, unsure if Hutch was kidding or serious, when Starsky grabbed his partner by the arm and physically dragged him out to the patio. He called over his shoulder, "Don't listen to him hon, he's just being Scroogie."

Once he got Hutch outside, he closed the sliding door. "Hutch, sit down. I have a favor to ask you."

Hutch did as he was told. Starsky sat down next to him and folded his hands nervously on the table. "What is it Starsk?"

"I'm gonna ask you to ease off of Juliana on the Christmas thing," he began. "I know it annoys you, but this is real important to her."

"You're serious," Hutch stated.

"I'm very serious. This Christmas is real important to her. It's the first real Christmas she has had in a very long time."

His curiosity peaked, he asked, "What happened? Why hasn't she had a real Christmas?"

"It's a long story," he tried to be evasive, but the expression on Hutch's face told him he wouldn't take a brush off. "When Juliana was a little girl, her older brother died just after Christmas."

"What did he die from?" Hutch asked.

"He had walking pneumonia. Never even knew he was sick. He was in college, and he had come home for Christmas break. He knew he was sick, but didn't know it was that bad. A few weeks later, he was gone."

"That's terrible."

"Since Christmas was the last time the family had seen him, Juliana's mother refused to be in that house at Christmas. It was too painful for her. They decided to spend their Christmases in Florida, with Lee's grandfather. Since Lee was from the midwest, this was very different for her."

Hutch could understand that. Christmas in Minnesota was quite different than Christmas in Bay City. "I imagine that would be quite an adjustment."

"Well, she never really did adjust to that. She never got used to the warm weather, the lack of snow, and she said she hated to see Santa Claus in shorts. Her friends were back home, and even her dog. It was never the same for her, and she never felt like they ever celebrated Christmas again. They went down south for many years, until her grandfather passed away. By that time, she was in college here. When she would visit her mother, they would go out for Christmas dinner to a restaurant, and there was no festive holiday mood. It was still a very hard time for her mother, and Lee spent most of the holiday trying to keep her mother's mind off of her brother. Since college, she has stayed here for the holiday, but there was no one to share it with. No family."

"I didn't realize..." Hutch felt bad for giving her a hard time.

Starsky brightened, "But she feels like she has people to share it with now. We are the loved ones she wants to be surrounded with. She wants to share the holidays with us, here. She's very excited about it, and I don't want to spoil it for her. I'm asking you to give her some slack, let her enjoy the holiday. It means a lot to her, and it would mean a lot to me."

"Sure, Starsky," Hutch agreed. Starsky visibly relaxed. Hutch stared at his friend lost in thought. When Starsky gave him a questioning look, he answered it with a quiet statement. "Her story sounds familiar, buddy."

Starsky stood up, the nervousness returning. "Yeah, I guess. I could relate to a lot of what she said. But we weren't talking about me, Hutch."

Hutch stood beside his friend. "I know we weren't talking about you. But I'm talking to you now. Was it like that for you, too? You lost your dad when you were young. You went off to live in California. Did you end up losing your Christmases when you lost your father?" Starsky didn't need to answer. Hutch could see it in his eyes.

"Come on Hutch. I only asked because I don't want to ruin Lee's Christmas. I would have mentioned it sooner, but I never heard the whole story until a few days ago."

Hutch laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I've been so wrapped up in my own holiday baggage that I never stopped to think about anyone else's. I'll try to be more understanding."

"Thanks Hutch." Then he added, "There's somethin' else you oughta know. Her brother used to call her Jul. Since he died, she hasn't allowed anyone to call her that. You're the only one. All her friends and family call her Julie or Lee, if they don't call her by her given name."

As they walked back into the house, Hutch asked, "Starsk, get your guitar for me, will ya?"

Starsky got his guitar and handed it to Hutch. He sat in his favorite chair by the fireplace, and started to strum a few notes. A smile crept up on Starsky's face as he recognized the song. Hutch's rich voice filled the house.

 _I'll be home for Christmas_  
_You can count on me_  
_Please have snow_  
_And mistletoe_  
_And presents 'neath the tree_

 _Christmas eve will find me_  
_Where the love light gleams_  
_I'll be home for Christmas_  
_If only in my dreams_

 _Christmas eve will find me_  
_Where the love light gleams_  
_I'll be home for Christmas_  
_If only in my dreams_  
_If only in my dreams_

Juliana had come in as soon as the song started, and gave him a brilliant smile. She sat on the floor at his feet in front of the fireplace, and sang the last two verses with him. The delight was dancing in her eyes.

Starsky couldn't resist the chance to tease his friend. "Hutch! I didn't know you had it in ya!"

Hutch's response was to smile and start right into another song.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_  
_Just like the ones I used to know_  
_Where the treetops glisten_  
_and children listen_  
_To hear sleigh bells in the snow_

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_  
_With every Christmas card I write_  
_May your days be merry and bright_  
_And may all your Christmases be white_

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_  
_With every Christmas card I write_  
_May your days be merry and bright_  
_And may all your Christmases be white_

This time, even Starsky joined in. The three sang Christmas carols until it was time for the turkey. They enjoyed a spectacular traditional thanksgiving feast, then gathered back in the living room in front of the fireplace. Late in the evening, Starsky tried to convince Hutch to sing one more Christmas song. He admitted there was one more song that he wanted to sing, but he doubted Starsky would like it.

"Why wouldn't I like it?" Starsky asked him.

"Because it's in Latin," Hutch laughed.

Juliana sat up excited. "I loved carols in Latin!"

Starsky stared at her with wide eyes. "Latin?" he asked.

She patted his leg. "Honey, I'm Catholic. We used to do entire masses in Latin. Go ahead Hutch!"

Hutch picked the guitar back up and sang Adeste Fideles. He saw Starsky finally recognize the melody. When the song was finished, Starsky said, "That was O Come All Ye Faithful, wasn't it?" Hutch nodded. "It sounded nice like that. Since when do you sing in Latin?"

"I sing in German too," he confessed. "And some in Spanish. Next time I'll do some German songs."

"I don't get it Hutch," Starsky prodded. "Why did you never sing these songs before? You didn't hesitate once with the lyrics or the music. Were you holding out on us?"

"I only played them for my folks," he admitted. "I would play at their parties sometimes. I stay in practice for when I see my family. My sister played the piano, and we would play together. I guess I just always associated those songs with family."

"We _are_ family," Starsky reminded him. Hutch smiled in return.

 

******************************************************************

 

This was the first Christmas they would spend together, and a special one for all of them. Juliana was experiencing all the joy and wonder of the holiday season for the first time since childhood, and Starsky was experiencing it right along with her. Hutch had found that once he allowed himself, he was having fun with it too. He went overboard this year, buying many small gifts for each of them, so there would be a huge pile of presents under the tree. He had kept all of his presents hidden from them both, sneaking them into the house one at a time, and hiding them in the strangest places. Starsky stumbled across a beautifully wrapped gift under the sink in the bathroom with Hutch's handwriting on the tag, but he happily ignored it, pleased that his friend was trying so hard.

On Christmas Eve, Hutch had spent the night in the guest bedroom. In the middle of the night, he slipped out of bed and grabbed a flashlight that he had stashed earlier. He tiptoed through the house and retrieved the packages he had hidden on his earlier visits, and silently placed each one under the tree. The stockings at the fireplace had been hung for show, but Hutch filled Starsky's with candy, and Juliana's with silk flowers. In his own stocking, he placed a framed photo of the three of them together.

For Juliana, he had the most packages. Most were Christmas decorations that she would have for future holidays. He secretly bought her a new leather jacket that she had admired in a storefront window when they were shopping for Starsky's present. He also gave her an autographed copy of the White Christmas album by Bing Crosby. Then he gave her a beautifully bound edition of _Twas The Night Before Christmas._

For Starsky, he had purchased a Lionel train set. He wrapped all of the cars individually, as well as the tracks and the people and accessories. There was also a plaque for his desk at work, walnut with gold, engraved with Lt. David M. Starsky. It was a handsome piece, and he knew it would please his partner. He also had a gift certificate for him to have his car detailed.

When he had finished, he stood back to admire the tree. The presents did look plentiful beneath it, and he smiled at his own handiwork. He clicked off the flashlight. Then Starsky's whisper from behind him caused him to jump. "Hey Kris Kringle, did ya get the one under the bathroom sink?"

"Starsk, you scared the shit out of me!" he whispered back. "What are you doing up? Did I wake you?"

Starsky's grin was visible in the dim light. "You think you're the only one with a few surprises up his sleeve?" He sauntered up to the tree and placed his armload of gifts beneath it. Then he grabbed Hutch's arm and directed him back to the living room. There was a bottle of Baileys on the fireplace mantle, and two glasses. He poured them each a glass, and lifted his to a toast. "Merry Christmas, Partner."

Juliana spoke up, "Don't you have a glass for me?" The two men turned and laughed. Starsky grabbed another glass from the cabinet and poured her a drink too. "Hey, it's after midnight, guys. Should we open our presents?" She looked like a little kid with her eyes all lit up.

Starsky and Hutch looked at each other and both bolted for the den, with Juliana hot on their heels. They each grabbed the presents they had placed under the tree and distributed them, then sat down on the floor to open them all up. Juliana loved her jacket, and the Christmas goodies, and Starsky immediately started setting up the train underneath the Christmas tree. He thanked Hutch warmly for the desk plaque and the detailing. Hutch received a coffee maker from Starsky, since his had broken just days before, new guitar strings and picks, and a book of Christmas sheet music in German. From Juliana, he received a new guitar strap that she had made, that was embroidered with three running zebras on each side of the strap. It was stunning, and he was speechless.

Juliana gave Starsky a sweater that she had knitted herself. It was an Irish cable design, in a deep rich brown, that really showcased her extensive talent.

Starsky gave Juliana a one carat marquis engagement ring set in a gold cathedral mounting.

After the engaged couple ended their kiss, Hutch gave Juliana a kiss and Starsky a bear hug, congratulating them both. His jealousy had flared again, but he was ready for it this time. He was dying inside, but he hid it quite well, and even Starsky never caught a glimpse of anything but joy in his face. Then he turned to Juliana and said, "It looks like I have two partners now." He smiled his most brilliant smile, and Starsky clapped him on the back. Juliana beamed.

After Christmas, Hutch dove into work, trying to keep busy and keep his mind off of his friends' engagement. Juliana had insisted on a long engagement, so he had time to prepare himself for a wedding, but it was terribly difficult for him. His feelings had grown in the past months, and he was unable to ignore it or get past it. Even his dreams were haunted with visions of her, and he found himself sleeping poorly now. Work was his only safe place, the only place that could force her from his thoughts.

A few weeks after Christmas, they were all invited to a party at Mark Chapman's house. He was a friend from the force, and it was his birthday. He was known for his wonderful parties, and Starsky and Hutch showed up at the party in a festive mood. Juliana had agreed to pick up a friend from work and drive her to the party, so she was going to meet them there later. Starsky immediately got roped into a pool game with some of the guys, and Mark latched onto Hutch as a dart partner.

Hutch played several rounds of darts with Mark and some other BCPD cops, until they realized that Mark was partnered to a ringer. Hutch good naturedly gave up the game, carrying away a nice stack of bills for his efforts.

He wandered out to the living room where most of the partiers were assembled. There was loud and pleasant music keeping everything lively, and the company was good. He got himself a beer and stood back to people-watch, when he caught sight of Juliana.

Juliana looked stunning. She was wearing a red dress that flattered her figure, and her hair fell loose in black ringlets nearly to her waist. She was wearing makeup, which she normally avoided, but which she wore well. Her face glowed. She had been talking to a girlfriend, but the girlfriend wandered off leaving Juliana alone. She glanced around the room until her eyes fell on Hutch, and she gave him a blinding smile.

Hutch didn't know what hit him. She looked so beautiful, and she had smiled at him with such pleasure, that he completely lost himself in that face, in those eyes. Without thinking, he strode up to Juliana, grasped her hand in his and pulled her close. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and crushed her in a passionate kiss. She offered no resistance, and he kissed her with all of the love he had been suppressing for months, tasting her, smelling her perfume, feeling the heat of her body against his. He tangled his hand in her hair, tilting her face upward, kissing more forcibly, then more gently, ending the encounter with a lingering gentle kiss, feeling her trembling in his arms. He looked down at her face, and he started to smile.

Juliana whispered, "My hand...," and he realized that she was trapped in his grasp, her hand crushed between them, and he stepped back to release her. She immediately swung her hand until it connected with his cheek, slapping him hard enough to turn his head to the side. "Don't you _ever_ kiss me like that again," she stammered, then turned on her heel and stormed out of the house. He looked up stunned, with her handprint vivid pink on his face, and watched her disappear through the door with her girlfriend Georgina rushing after her. He was left with his guilt weighing down on him and his heart laid crushed at his feet.

 

******************************************************************

 

Juliana rushed from the house, her face burning red from embarrassment, fear and confusion. Georgina stopped her outside. "Lee, what happened in there?" she demanded.

Juliana started to cry. "I don't know Georgina! I'm in shock. I can't believe he did that." She pleaded with her friend, "Georgie, please, will you take me home? Now?"

"Of course Lee, get in. My car's over here." She waved to a red mustang parked right in front of the house. The two women rushed to the car and drove off.

They were both quiet for a few minutes, then Georgina asked, "Are you okay?"

Tears streaked down her face. "No, I don't think so," she admitted.

"That was some kiss..." Georgina began tentatively.

"I don't understand it, Georgie, I don't understand!" she was crying harder now.

Georgina passed her friend a small pack of kleenex from her purse. "Settle down, Lee. Tell me, is something going on between you two?"

"NO!" Juliana cried out. "Nothing! He's a friend, that's all. David's partner. I have no idea where this came from!"

"Well, he obviously has feelings for you," she mused.

"He's never given me any indication of that before," Juliana defended. "In fact, it wasn't that long ago he told David not to marry me, that I wasn't good enough for him."

Georgina's eyes widened. "What?!"

"Oh God," Juliana gasped. "I wonder if he did this to cause a rift between me and David! Or maybe he wanted to humiliate me; make me look bad in front of him!"

"Ken?" Georgina looked at Juliana disbelieving. "Shoot, Lee, I've known Ken for years, and that just doesn't sound like the man I know! I can't believe he would be that treacherous. There has got to be more to this story. I can see him telling Dave if he didn't like you, but I can't see him deliberately doing something that spiteful. It's not in his nature."

Juliana looked at her friend with bewilderment in her eyes. "Is it in his nature to go up and kiss a woman like that? One he is not involved with?"

"Can't say I have ever seen him behave this way before. Ken's always been rather reserved. Even when I've seen him with a date, he's never been overboard with public displays of affection." Then she asked, "Tell me about this thing with Dave, will ya? What was that all about."

Juliana explained what she had heard on the patio. She went on to describe Hutch's apology in her apartment, and how the friendship had been since that time. "I don't know, Georgie. Maybe he wanted to come between me and Dave. Maybe he wants me out of the picture."

"Maybe he wants YOU," Georgina ventured. When Juliana looked dubious, she asked, "What about the kiss, Lee? What was that like?" She thought she saw her friend blush in the dim light.

"The kiss?" She hesitated to answer. She threw her friend a fearful look, then admitted softly, "It was hot. It was a hell of a kiss, Georgie. It blew me away. If he hadn't been holding me so damn tight, my knees probably would have given out."

Georgina burst out laughing. Juliana started to laugh with her. "That good, eh?" She shook her head at her friend. "Still think he doesn't have feelings for you? That he did this as some sort of aggressive move to sabotage your relationship with David?"

The car had pulled up to Juliana's apartment, and the two women continued their talk inside.

"What are you going to tell David?" Georgina asked.

Juliana looked panicked. How could she tell David that his best friend just made a move on her? "I have no idea! I guess I'll just have to play this by ear."

"Maybe you should talk to Hutch," Georgina suggested. "Find out what the hell is going on, before you talk to Dave."

"Oh God, I just walked out on David at that party!" Juliana gasped. "He's going to wonder what happened to me!"

Georgina said, "I'll talk to Dave. I'll tell him that you drove Francesca home because she was drunk and sick. I'll tell him you were babysitting her. Then he won't worry about what happened to you."

"Isn't Francesca in Tahoe?" Juliana asked.

"Yes, but Starsky doesn't know that does he?" she grinned mischievously. Juliana grinned back. "While I'm at it, I'll see if Hutch is still there, and I'll see what I can find out. I'll call you."

"Thanks for everything Georgina." She gave her a hug.

Georgina left her friend and returned to the party. Little had changed, and no one seemed to have even noticed the exchange between Ken and Juliana. She had given Starsky the story about babysitting Francesca, and he looked disappointed but he seemed to accept it as truth. It was evident that he was unaware of the kiss as well. Then she sought out Hutch.

Hutch was seated near the bar, nursing a beer. Georgina slipped onto a stool next to him. He avoided looking into her eyes, aware that she had seen the kiss and the subsequent slap. "You okay?" she asked him.

He had expected to be berated for his behavior. Her inquiry surprised him, and he looked to her face to read her intentions. She looked at him sincerely, so he shook his head, unwilling or unable to offer any words.

Georgina sensed his hurting, and took pity on him. "Yeah, that's pretty much the response I got from Lee."

That caught his attention, and he waited for her to continue.

"She's pretty upset. Your kiss really came out of left field for her. She's trying to figure out what's going on."

Hutch met her questioning glance. "I'm in love with her, Georgie. I never meant for this to happen. I lost control."

Georgina tapped her finger on the beer bottle and asked, "Too many of these, Hutch?"

He laughed at the question. "I wish I could blame it on that. This is only the second drink I've had today." She could still see the sadness in his eyes. "Is that what she thought? That I got drunk and carried away?"

She shook her head. "No. She told me she didn't think you were drunk. I think her exact words were, 'Nobody could be that drunk and kiss that well.'"

He gave a feeble smile. "She said that?"

Nodding, she added, "She said it was a hell of a kiss."

"You weren't supposed to tell me that, were you," he guessed.

"No, I wasn't," she confessed smiling.

"Thanks Georgie," he patted her hand. "Tell me, will she speak to me?"

"Yes, I think so. She is pretty confused."

"Does she realize how I feel about her?"

Georgina replied, "She doesn't know that you love her, no. She originally thought you may have done this to break up her and Dave. She thought you may have wanted to humiliate her, or to put a wedge between her and Dave."

Hutch's head shot up. "She thought that of me? I could never do that Georgie!"

"She told me about the conversation she overheard with you and Starsky. The one where you told him that she wasn't good enough for him. She thought you hated her then. Now she is wondering if you really do. You keep surprising her, and she doesn't trust her instincts."

Hutch dragged a hand over his face. It had never occurred to him that she would think that he hated her.

"For what it's worth," Georgina continued, "I don't think she really feels that way. And I don't think she believes that about you. I think she's just in shock and trying to understand what came over you. She has no clue that you're in love with her. Only toward the end of our conversation did she even entertain the notion that you may be attracted to her."

Hutch looked tired and unhappy. "I've really screwed things up, Georgie. I don't know if I can dig myself out of this one."

She asked, "Does Starsky know how you feel about her?"

"Hell no," he replied. "He's my best friend, and he trusts me. And here I just stomped on that trust, _again_."

"Come on Hutch," Georgina nudged him. "Come clean with Lee and with Starsky. And give yourself a little break, okay? It's not like you slept with her. It was a _kiss_. Don't beat yourself up over this, and don't sell your friends short."

"You knew about Kira?" Hutch inquired.

"We all knew about Kira," she confirmed. She knew Kira had come between Starsky and Hutch, and that Hutch slept with her knowing that Starsky was in love with her. Georgina had been one of the few that never believed it would destroy their friendship. "This is not the same thing, Hutch. You didn't sleep with Lee. And as far as I can tell, you haven't tried to take her away from Starsky."

"You think Starsky could forgive this?" he asked. It was more an accusation than a question. He said it as if he believed that Starsky could not ever forgive this.

She looked at Hutch. He knew Starsky at least as well as he knew himself, yet she was going to disagree with him here. "Yes, I think Starsky could forgive this, if he knew the whole story."

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter how far I went, Georgina. It's not the kiss. I broke his trust. That is what he won't be able to forgive."

"So we agree to disagree on that point, Ken. Time will tell, huh?"

Georgina stood and reached behind the bar. She pulled the phone onto her lap, and proceeded to call Juliana right in front of Hutch. "Lee? Hi. Everything is rather quiet here... No, no one said anything about the kiss. I don't think anyone noticed, or if they did, they didn't care... Yeah, I talked to him. He believed that you were playing nursemaid to a drunken Fran... Yes, I think he bought it... Hutch? Yes, I spoke to him. He's pretty upset, too. He said he wants to talk to you... No, we really didn't get into details. He said he was going to call you. He looks miserable, Lee... Yes, I think he really regrets what happened... I'm going to be heading out of here soon. I'll call you if I hear anything else, okay?...Are you okay now?...Good. I'll call you tomorrow if you don't hear from me again tonight... Okay Lee... Goodnight." She hung up the phone.

Hutch looked at her and gave her a big smile. "Thanks Georgina."

 

******************************************************************

 

Hutch called Juliana very early the following morning.

"Hello?" Juliana answered nervously.

"Jul, it's Hutch. I need to talk to you. Will you meet me for coffee?" She hesitated a moment so he continued, "Look, I want to apologize, but I want to speak to you in person. Please, Jul, say you'll come."

"All right, Ken. Where should I meet you?"

He gave her the name of the coffee shop, and it wasn't far from her apartment. She agreed to meet him in a half hour. He was there early, and anxiously settled in to wait.

Juliana was startled at his appearance. He looked pale, as if he hadn't slept, and there was something in his eyes that was quite disturbing. She was alarmed as she sat across from him. He looked like he had just lost his best friend.

"Jul, thank you for coming."

The waitress came to their table and quickly served their coffee. She scurried off, and Hutch faced Juliana.

"I really want to apologize for my actions last night. I was out of line. I took advantage of you and abused your friendship. I hurt you, I hurt Starsky, and I am very sorry."

"Thank you, Ken. I accept your apology." She reached out and laid her hand on top of his. "I am a little confused though. Why, Ken? What happened?"

Her touch burned his hand, but he couldn't bring himself to pull his hand away. Instead, he clasped her fingers gently and stroked them with his thumb. "I don't know how to say this to you, Jul. I'm just going to tell you honestly. I'm in love with you."

Julie gasped and tightened her hold on his hand. She saw him flinch; not in pain, but from the touch itself. "Ken..."

He looked at her with his eyes as deep a blue as she had ever seen them. They were filled with pain and loss. "I tried to deny my feelings, and I tried to ignore them. I tried to get past them. I can't, Jul. I can't help how I feel and I can't control it. Last night I lost control. I couldn't stop myself. I had to feel you in my arms, I had to kiss you, I had to express how much I love you. I know it was wrong. I know I hurt you, and for that I am sorry."

Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Ken please, no more apologies. I'm glad you told me. I'm sorry you've had to struggle with this."

"After you left, I did a lot of soul searching. I woke up my agent, and discussed a trip that she had proposed where I would tour Europe. I told her to run with it. She has me leaving at the end of next week. I think a little distance will do me good. I need to let go, get over these feelings I have for you, and I don't think I can do that seeing your face every single day."

"How long will you be gone?" she asked.

"The tour is expected to go on for three months," he replied.

"Three months?! That's a long time to be gone. What about work? Did you talk to Dobey?"

"Dobey agreed to put me on a three month leave of absence. I spoke to him right before I called you. He never even asked me any questions. Told me he would grant me more time if I needed it."

"What have you told Dave?"

Hutch grew silent. He was thoughtful before answering. "I haven't told Starsky yet."

"You _have_ told him how you feel about me, haven't you?" She could see in his face that he hadn't.

"I haven't told him that I'm in love with you, no. And I'm going to ask you not to tell him."

"Ken! You don't expect me to lie to him, do you?" Julie was distressed.

Hutch spoke softly. "Jul, I don't expect you to lie to him. If he asks you about it, please tell him the truth. I am asking that you don't volunteer the information. I can't tell him how I feel about you. I can't risk losing his friendship right now. I promise you, when I get back, I will tell him then. But I want to get a handle on this first. I want to be able to tell him that I am over you, that I'm past this. Will you help me, Jul?"

"Don't do this, Ken. Please tell him. He will understand. Don't lie to him, and don't expect me to lie to him. You're his best friend in the world, I know he will understand. He will help. Please Ken!"

Hutch sat back in his chair. "I can't tell him Jul. I can't tell him I betrayed his trust again. I can't do it. He won't understand. He will not forgive me. I will lose his friendship."

"You can't preserve your friendship with lies." The tears fell again.

He sighed. "All right, no lies. I won't lie to him. But I won't tell him until I return. I'll tell him the truth, that I am going pursue my music career in Europe. He doesn't need to know why I chose to do this now."

"I won't lie to him Ken."

Hutch smiled hopefully. "But you won't tell him either, will you?"

"I make no promises Hutch."

"Thank you Jul." He knew she would keep his secret. He looked down at the table, then searched her face. "Jul, can I ask you about something?"

"You've always known you can ask me anything, Ken."

"I spoke to Georgina last night. She told me that you thought perhaps my kiss was intended to humiliate you, or to come between you and Starsky. Why would you think that of me? You thought I was capable of _that_ , but never considered that I could be in love with you?"

Juliana could see this upset him. "Hutch, I really didn't know what to think. I was looking at anything that might explain what happened. You never gave me any reason to think you had such feelings for me, but you did give me reason to think that you had disliked me and wouldn't mind having me out of the picture."

"I know my kiss was rather aggressive, but I didn't think you would see it as something _hostile_."

She grinned. "The kiss was certainly not hostile, Ken. It was a very...um... _effective_ kiss. I only wondered about you coming between me and Dave because of your talk on the patio, but I think I understand that better now."

" _Effective_ kiss?" He cocked his head at her. It seemed an odd choice of words.

"Well, yes. It had a very stimulating and exciting effect." She blushed, "Effective."

Hutch laughed heartily, and the sadness in his eyes was momentarily gone. The mischievous glint was back as he leaned closer and asked quietly, "Jul, is that your delicate way of saying my kiss turned you on?"

Her blush deepened, which only served to make her smile look that much more enchanting. "Yes, of course it did. But if you ever repeat that I will deny it." She winked at him.

"You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you, Jul," Hutch said softly, the sadness returning.

"Call me if you need to talk," she offered. "I care very deeply for you, Hutch, and I'll help you in any way I can. And please reconsider about David. I know he will understand. Trust him, Ken."

The pair embraced. Juliana walked out of the coffee shop, leaving Hutch to contemplate her words and consider his future.


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks later Hutch departed for Europe. Starsky was shocked that he would leave so quickly, and be gone for so long. He had tried to get Hutch to explain his actions, but felt he was not getting a complete answer. As he discussed it with Juliana, he never did come out and directly ask if she knew why he left or any circumstances surrounding his mysterious trip. Hutch's secret remained in Juliana's safe keeping.

Hutch called Starsky often, speaking to him only at work. But Juliana received weekly phone calls from him as well, every Friday night while Starsky was playing pool with his friends. He knew she would be there alone, and took advantage of the privacy.

The phone calls were bittersweet. He spoke of his successes on tour, but also confessed to being unable to get past his feelings for Juliana. The weeks quickly turned into months, and the tour was expected to end soon. Hutch called Juliana to discuss his homecoming.

"Jul, I'm not coming back just yet," he warned her. "I'm going to be staying in Germany for a while."

She was not happy with his news. "Hutch, you promised you would tell David. It's been three months. I respected your concerns and have not said anything, but you need to tell him what's going on."

"I promised I would tell him when I return," he corrected her.

"Yes, when you returned in three months!" She was frustrated with him. "Come on Hutch, you gave the time and distance a fair shot and it didn't work. Please come home. You aren't going to solve anything by running away from your problems!"

He winced at her candor. "I'm not running away. I am working with my music, and I am enjoying the work. I'm getting a better response here than I was at home."

"Come home, Ken. I am not going to fall for your story the way Starsky has, I know too much. You could be pursuing your music here with even greater success if you were to throw yourself into it full time here as you have there. You're bullshitting me, and I am not going to let you." She hoped to reach him with bluntness. "Do you want _me_ to tell him?"

"Now who's bullshitting?" Hutch mused. He knew she wouldn't tell Starsky, not unless he pressed her. "Jul, I can't come back. I have to give this a real chance. I can't go back to the way things were. I need more time. Eventually I will be able to move on, but it hasn't happened yet." Then he added," Jul, I have another reason to stay here. I've met somebody. It's too early yet to know if this will lead to anything serious, but I want to find out."

"You've met a girl?" Juliana was pleased.

"Yes, at the club I was just hired at. Her name is Corrine, and she is a singer too. We've really hit it off, and I'm very interested in her. This is the first time I have felt anything for another woman in a long time, Jul."

"Hutch, that is good news! I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, I'm happy too," Hutch lied.

"But what are you going to tell Starsky? What is going to be your reason for staying?" she asked.

"I'll tell him the truth. I got a job playing at a club, and I met a girl."

"He was suspicious about your leaving in the first place. You don't think he'll be suspicious about you staying longer?"

"I'll handle Starsky, Jul."

"There's something else, Hutch," Juliana broached the topic tenderly. "It's about the wedding." She paused a moment. He could feel that ache in his chest again. "We've set a date. You know David wants you to be his best man. He's going to bring it up during your next call."

Clenching his hand into a fist, he tried to sound positive. "Just let me know when, Jul. I promise I will be there. It'll be okay." He was having a lot more difficulty convincing himself.

Hutch soon ended the conversation. The talk with Juliana had left him raw.

He reflected on the story he wove for his friends. The club he was working at was really just a smoky bar and restaurant, not much different than The Pits, and the girl, Corrine, was no more than a friend that he had quickly grown close to.

Corrine was not interested in a conventional relationship after her recent divorce, but there were ways that they could offer comfort to each other, and ease each other's loneliness. He was not staying in Heidelberg for Corrine. She would simply make the stay more bearable.

He debated on asking Corrine to accompany him, to offer a good cover and to offer moral support. He decided the following day to speak to her about it. He knew he could tell her the truth.

He told her that the woman he was trying to forget would be there. Corrine was happy to come as his date, and volunteered to play the doting girlfriend for his friends' benefit. It would be a difficult weekend, but perhaps it would be easier together. They decided that Hutch would go back to California for a week, and she would join him for the weekend.

 

******************************************************************

 

Hutch finally stepped off the plane, returning to Bay City after nearly six months overseas. Juliana was disconcerted by his appearance. He looked pale, and he had lost weight. His face was too thin, and there were dark circles under his eyes. Starsky didn't seem to notice, overcome with delight that his friend and partner was finally home.

He struggled not to stare at Juliana, and most of the time he succeeded. His feelings for her had not diminished at all in his absence. She had a firm hold on his heart.

The week before the wedding kept both the men occupied, but gave Hutch a chance to rest and recover from the long flight and the jet lag, and to get a little sun. He was almost his old self again by the time Corrine had arrived. She immediately noticed the change in him, and was pleased. "Singvogel! You look wonderful!" She gave him a hungry kiss.

Hutch was surprised by her affectionate behavior. Normally she was rather reserved in public, and left her more aggressive behavior for their more private moments. He was not entirely displeased. He introduced her to Starsky, and they hit it off right away. Because of the last minute wedding details, Juliana would not meet Corrine until the ceremony the following day.

Corrine played her part quite convincingly. She was almost always at his side, hand in hand or in his arms. She listened attentively to his every word, and her eyes and smile spoke of a deep affection. The charade was comfortable to Hutch as well. From the beginning they had known an instant rapport, and since the addition of their more physical relationship, it was easy to expand their companionship into the guise of a serious relationship. They were both enjoying this vacation immensely.

The wedding was torture to Hutch, but he hid it with perfection. David and Juliana were married on the beach by a Justice of the Peace, with all of their close friends in attendance. Hutch exuded happiness for his two friends, and the atmosphere at the reception showed that the feeling was contagious.

Hutch had given his partner a tight bear hug of congratulations, then turned to Juliana to kiss the bride. Instead of the aggressive show he had given Starsky, to Juliana he was tender and gentle, pulling her close and placing a chaste kiss upon her forehead. The opposite nature of his congratulations made it seem even more solemn and gracious. A quick photographer had snapped the moment for film.

The bride and groom had the first dance alone, then were joined by the bridal party. After a while, Starsky came and cut in on Hutch's dance with Georgina, Juliana's made of honor. Hutch in turn took Juliana into his arms and danced the next few dances with her. They chatted quietly about Hutch's life in Germany, and about Corrine. Juliana knew how hard this was on him, but was amazed at how well he disguised his emotions. He flashed his blinding smile and guided her with grace across the dance floor. Starsky returned to reclaim his bride, and unnoticed by anyone but Juliana, Hutch gave her hand a squeeze, stroking her fingers with his thumb. It was the same gesture he had demonstrated in the coffee shop all those months ago, and its significance was not lost on Juliana.

Smiling, Hutch returned to Corrine and asked her to dance. "No, Singvogel. Sit and have a drink with me." She offered him a lovely smile, and he obliged. Watching him closely, she noticed his eyes seeking the dance floor before he returned his gaze to her. She slowly shook her head. She spoke quietly. "Tsk tsk tsk. Ken, you should have told me the woman you love is the bride."

He dropped his head, then looked up with his sky-blue puppy-dog eyes. "Was it that obvious?"

Corrine gave him a sad smile. "No. It was not obvious. I was watching carefully. I'm sorry Ken. This must be painful for you."

"You've really helped Corrine," he told her sincerely. "You have convinced my friends that we are a serious couple, and your actions have kept me off guard enough to distract me from my emotions." He gave her a genuine smile. "Thank you."

"I'm not done distracting you yet," she warned. Under the table she stroked her fingers up his inner thigh. Hutch snatched her hand in his and his eyes flashed a lecherous light. Corrine laughed and sauntered up to the bar, knowing he was watching her walk away. She'd get him through this wedding yet.

When it came time for Hutch to give a toast, he directed the bride and groom to the center of the dance floor, and joined them there.

"As you all know, Starsky and I have been friends and partners for a long time. He is more than a friend to me. He is the brother I never had, and I couldn't love him more if he were of my own blood. He is the partner I entrust with my life.

"Juliana I have not known as long, but I have come to know her almost as well as I know Starsky. She is an amazing woman; open, compassionate and loving. She has stepped into our hearts and found a home there, and stepped into Dave's arms and found a true love there. She has become a partner to me as well, for I entrust her with my partner, entrust her with my friend.

"So I ask you all to raise a glass to my TWO partners. To David and Juliana, may the joy you share today be just the beginning of a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment."

The three clinked their glasses together as the rest of the room applauded and drank to the happy couple.

Huggy stepped up to offer his own toast.

"Here's to Starsky and Juliana! May you never cheat, steal, fight or drink. But if you must cheat, may you cheat death. If you must steal, may you steal one another's hearts. If you must fight, may you fight for one another. And if you must drink, may you drink with us, your friends."

 

******************************************************************

 

The relationship between Corrine and Hutch never grew to be more serious than friends "with benefits", as Corrine described it. They would always be close, but the passion they shared never committed their hearts.

Not long after they returned from America, Corrine met another man, and admitted to Hutch that she was falling for him. Hutch withdrew himself from her life in hopes that her relationship could flourish, and it did. They kept in touch and remained good friends, but nothing more. Soon she left town to follow her beau, and Hutch was left alone.

Without her companionship, Hutch began to struggle. He was depressed, and had started to drink more. His appearance was suffering along with his mental state. He was losing hope.

Juliana was picking up on his decline. Now when he called her, he was often drunk. He refused to discuss coming home, and had finally confessed to her that Corinne had left. He didn't bother to explain that she was never really his to begin with. His tone was decidedly more pessimistic, his words were cynical.

After several weeks of his progressively negative phone calls, Juliana started to panic. She was afraid that he was in trouble, but didn't know how to help him. She was desperate to talk to Dave, but she feared revealing Hutch's secret.

Finally Hutch called her to announce his plans to stay in Germany indefinitely. When she tried to talk with him about it, he became angry and hung up on her.

Starsky came home from his pool game to find Juliana sobbing on the bed. He finally got her calmed down, and urged her to tell him what happened. She looked into his face and saw his love and compassion, and decided to trust him with the entire story.

She told him everything. The kiss, the slap, the coffee shop, Germany, Corrine. She left nothing out. Starsky sat on the bed beside her, absorbing the whole surprising story. He hadn't said a word, just listened. She described the phone calls, and recited his last call nearly verbatim.

"Davey, please, can you talk to him? Can you help him? I'm so afraid that he's falling apart, and he has nothing to hang onto. He's lost everything. He left his job, his home, his friends, his family... He's starting to self-destruct."

Starsky got up and went to the telephone. He looked a name up in the book and called it. Juliana heard him speak to Hutch's agent, and ask for the name of the club where he was working. He looked confused when he hung up. "Hutch didn't go to Europe through his agent. He hasn't spoken to her in about nine months."

Juliana's eyes widened, then filled with tears. Starsky picked up the phone again, and called a travel agent. He booked a round trip flight to Germany for himself, and a one way ticket back for Hutch. He took his wife in his arms, and comforted her. "I'll bring him back, babe." He kissed her.

 

******************************************************************

 

Starsky arrived in Germany in the evening, and immediately set out to find Hutch's apartment. He had no trouble in locating it, and was discouraged to see how his friend had been living. He was staying in a hotel that rented rooms as apartments. The atmosphere of the place reminded Starsky of a shelter for the homeless. The building itself was cared for, but the people within were forgotten and discarded, the individuals invisible, with no connection to others.

He arranged to stay in a room next to Hutch's, and asked the desk attendant if he knew where Hutch worked. He was a friendly gentleman, a man of few words. The man had been familiar with Hutch, and suggested he try the club a few blocks away. He told Starsky that his friend had a great talent, and that he would enjoy the show. He had plenty of time to catch the act.

Starsky went into the deli next door and got a bite to eat, then went out in search of the club. He eventually stumbled upon the building and slipped into its dark interior. He pulled his hat low over his face and took a table in the back of the room opposite the stage. The room was packed, mostly with college students and the older barflies, with a quiet murmur of talk and soft music. When he took his seat, the stage was empty, but soon he saw his friend and partner walk out with his guitar. The audience applauded appreciatively, and Hutch started to sing, unaware of his friend's presence in the crowd.

Even from the back of the room, Starsky could see the physical changes in his friend. He was quite thin, more so than when he came to town for the wedding. His hair was long, as if he hadn't had it cut since then. His mustache was in need of a trim as well, and his face was shadowed with stubble. The clothes he wore were shabby looking, and he had a distinct unkempt appearance. The dark circles were prominent under his eyes, and his velvet voice sounded slightly strained to someone who had heard it before. Starsky noticed that he moved slowly, without his usual confidence, as if tired or defeated.

The music showed even more change than singer. Hutch was singing songs that he had written, and while his appearance had crumbled; his music on the other hand had flourished. The lyrics were moving and powerful, and the tunes lovely. It was apparent that all of his care and attention had been on his songs and not on himself.

Near the end of the performance, Hutch sang two songs that were undeniably about Juliana. The first was a beautiful love ballad, in which his friend described his wife and the effect her beauty had upon him. The final song was a desperately sad song of a love that had rejected him and devastated him, yet still gave him life and hope. He sang of "his Jul", and the sound of his wife's name in these lyrics pained Starsky. It evoked an intense reaction from the audience and they cheered him as he left the stage. The crowd thinned considerably after the performance, and it was evident that the singer was what brought the visitors here in the first place.

Starsky was going to confront Hutch in the back room of the bar, but thought better of it. He returned to the hotel and waited in the lobby for his friend to return. The lobby was set up like a living room for the hotel residents. He had been sitting on the couch for a short while when he saw the tall frame of his partner stroll into the lobby. He was focused straight ahead, and did not notice the waiting friend to his left.

Starsky called to his friend, "Hutch!"

Frozen in his tracks, Hutch turned toward the familiar voice slowly, unable to trust that he had actually heard Starsky's voice. The disbelief was unmistakable in his face. "Starsky?"

Starsky stepped up and embraced his friend with a smile. Hutch was noticeably tense and nervous. He blurted out, "Starsk, what are you doing here?"

"I've come to take you home, buddy." There was determination in his violet eyes.

Hutch laughed uneasily. "Home? I am home, buddy. Hang on, I'll throw my guitar in my room and you and I will go for a drink, okay?" He turned to walk away from Starsky.

"I know about Julie," he called after him.

Hutch stopped dead in his tracks. He did not turn around. The weight of Starsky's statement fell hard on his shoulders and he visibly sagged. Without facing his friend, he placed his guitar case on the ground beside him, then asked in a tired voice, "Did you come all the way to Europe to kick my ass, pal?"

Starsky grinned. "I'm not gonna kick your ass."

Hutch turned around and faced his friend. "Then why are you here?"

"I'm bringing you home."

Starsky sat on the couch and gestured for Hutch to do the same. Hutch sat at the edge of the couch seat, leaning his elbows on his knees. He hung his head and waited for Starsky to start making some sense.

"Hutch, you don't belong here. There is no reason for you to stay."

"What did Juliana tell you?" he asked.

Starsky answered, "She told me everything."

Hutch looked to his friend. "I'm sorry, Starsk."

He shrugged. "It's okay. You don't need to apologize."

Hutch shook his head. "Then she didn't tell you everything. I betrayed your trust, Starsky."

"Why don't you let me decide who has betrayed me and who hasn't." Starsky told him.

"I'm in love with your wife, pal," Hutch said quietly.

Shrugging, he replied, "Just shows you have excellent taste in women. I can't very well fault you for falling in love with her when I fell in love with her too."

"Did she tell you about the kiss?" he questioned.

"Yeah, she told me." Starsky looked at his hands, then looked up to Hutch. "Look, I'm not too crazy about you kissing her. I'll admit that. But I can understand your losing your head once. I trust you and Juliana not to let that happen again."

Hutch looked at him, speechless.

"Besides," Starsky continued with a huge grin, "I also hear she slapped you hard enough to spin that pretty blond head of yours around. I did get some satisfaction out of that."

Chuckling, Hutch rubbed the offended cheek and sank back into the couch. He gave a sheepish glance to Starsky, and they laughed together.

"I spoke to Dobey too," Starsky added. "He had put you on indefinite leave when you went to Europe. He told me your job is waiting for you, if you want it."

For a moment Hutch looked like he was going to acquiesce. Then he resumed his perch on the edge of the couch cushion, elbows on knees again.

He grew quiet. "I can't go back."

"Of course you can." Starsky slapped a plane ticket on the coffee table in front of him.

Hutch slapped his fist down hard on the coffee table. "Dammit Starsk! You aren't hearing me! I can't go back there! I'm in love with your wife!"

"So we'll deal with it! Together. You used to trust me. Trust me now!" Lowering his voice Starsky continued, "Juliana told me that she wants to help. She has offered to step out of the picture for a while. When we get back, I'm staying with you for a couple weeks. We're gonna get you back on track. She wants us to have more time together, without her. Basically, you won't see her unless you want to."

Hutch sat silently, considering his words. Starsky waited for a long time without saying anything, then smacked him against his leg and said, "Let's get you packed." They stared at each other for a time, then Hutch nodded. They went upstairs to their rooms.

The two walked into Hutch's room, and Starsky gave a low whistle. The room was a mess. There were empty beer bottles and empty food wrappers everywhere. Clothes were strewn about, and the bed was buried under a mound of papers and sheet music. A dorm room would look cleaner than this room did. Starsky grabbed what looked like a clean towel from the only chair in the room and handed it to Hutch. "Go grab a shower and a shave," he insisted. "You look like hell, buddy." His friend obeyed without question.

Alone in the room, Starsky started to clean. He ran down to the front desk and asked the attendant if he had any garbage bags. The man gave him a box, and he went straight to work picking up the empty bottles and wrappers. As he was taking the garbage bag out of the room, he ran into Hutch coming from the bathroom. He handed him his own key and told his friend to sleep in his room tonight. With the jet lag keeping him alert this night, he used his energy to set to work on the room. By early morning, Starsky had the place clean and organized, and ready to be packed away.

It had troubled Starsky to see Hutch's room. There was little furniture; a bed, a chair, a tall cabinet that served as a closet, and a small table. What was noticeably absent was any real sign of his friend in that room. Not even so much as a plant to indicate that he lived there. Considering that Hutch had probably lived here since leaving Bay City, it was a long time to live in such a disconnected manner. He had been simply existing in this room.

Needing some materials for packing, Starsky again visited the desk clerk. The man found a few appropriate sized boxes and gave them to him. Then Starsky asked about Hutch's rent and settled with the manager. Just before he turned to return to his work, the desk manager spoke up. "It is good that you bring your friend home. I like Ken. I am glad to see him going home."

Starsky smiled and nodded to the man. "Me too."

After packing his partner's belongings into boxes, he used the remaining empty box and threw all of the dirty clothes into it. The desk manager told him where he could find laundry facilities, and he got the clothes washed, folded and packed back into the box.

He set aside what they would be taking on the plane and took the rest to the desk manager. Giving him an address and the appropriate funds, he requested that the man ship the goods home for them. He was happy to oblige.

With his work done, Starsky went out in search of some food. He came back with rolls and jam, and plenty of coffee. As he set the food down on the table in Hutch's room, he heard his friend stirring in the room next door. It was late for him to be waking. Starsky knew he must have needed the rest.

Finally a blond head poked into his room. Starsky gestured to the coffee and Hutch happily dove into the breakfast. The change from yesterday was good to see. He was cleaned up, and his clothes were in better condition. His eyes looked brighter, and his mood was decidedly improved. "I can't believe how much you got done!" he exclaimed. "Didn't you sleep last night?"

"Naw, I couldn't sleep. I'll sleep on the plane. Tell me what you need to get done before we can get outta here."

Hutch looked around the room and chuckled. "Looks like it's all done, buddy. All I need to do is go tell my boss to find another singer, and say goodbye to a couple people there."

After finishing the breakfast, the pair stopped by the club the finished off any last minute details. They were set to leave now, and had plenty of time before the plane was to leave. Hutch showed him some sights in the city, and the two enjoyed a quiet day before heading for home.


	5. Chapter 5

Starsky stayed at Hutch's apartment for the first couple weeks he was back, phoning Juliana during Hutch's morning jog. The positive affect of being home was evident very quickly, as Hutch started to gain weight and resume his old fitness regime. He was showing more care with his appearance, and the worn expression on his face was fading.

Juliana had spied the two men at the grocery store shortly after their return, though she was not seen by either of them. She was shocked, not only to find herself at the same store at the same time, but at the sight of her old friend. Even though he was looking more like his old self, it was still quite a difference from where he had been before, and she silently gave thanks that Starsky was able to find him easily and bring him back.

Starsky had lined up a therapist for his partner and was glad that he was not only visiting with her but doing so willingly. He had returned to work at the precinct, and was finally getting back into the swing of things there. His agent had also been busy and set up some gigs for him to perform.

Hutch's music was improved as well. He was putting more heart into his performances and the strain in his voice had improved with his healthier lifestyle. Soon Starsky began to badger him about recording an album, and including the songs that he had heard in Germany.

Reluctantly, Hutch considered his suggestions. His agent Anita was intrigued, but could not convince him to play the songs for her. Since his return, he had avoided all music associated with Juliana, and subsequently had shelved all of his best work to date. A couple of months after his return, worn down by his partner's persistence, he agreed to play the music for Anita, and if she approved, to record them on an album. She was excited by the new songs, and immediately set it up to cut an album.

Almost instantly, Hutch started to have doubts about the album. He threatened to back out of the recording, and Anita called Starsky in a panic, pleading with him to "talk some sense into him." He tried to cajole his partner into following through on the recording, but Hutch was standing firm. He was refusing to include Juliana's songs. He argued that she would not appreciate having her privacy invaded by publicly releasing those songs. Starsky came up with the suggestion that he play them for her and ask her feelings on the subject.

Unwilling to see her or her reaction to the songs face to face, Hutch eventually agreed to record them on a tape for Starsky to bring to her. A week later, Starsky had a tape in his hands, a rough draft of what the album would contain. Recording on the album was set to begin late the following morning.

He came home with the tape and gently slipped it into her hand. Juliana had been anticipating this moment and dreading it at the same time. From what she had heard from her husband, the songs were marvelous, but she could not get him to tell her what they were about. Hutch's reluctance to include them on the album had her worried.

She decided to wait until she could listen to them alone, and popped in the tape when David went to class.

The first song was one called _Effective_ , and Juliana had found herself laughing at the lyrics. She knew he had written it because of their conversation in the coffee shop, and the reference to their private conversation amused her. The lyrics were slightly erotic, suggestively tongue in cheek, and the melody lively and upbeat. Starsky had never mentioned this song, so she realized that he was unaware of the title's significance to her.

All the songs were wonderful, and she was enjoying the album until the final two numbers. They were the same two songs that had bothered Starsky in Germany. The first song had her in misty with tears, touched by his wonderful description of her. She loved the song, and was so proud that he wrote it for her.

The last song cut her to the heart, and she wept openly through every word. He called it _Devastated_ , and it broke her heart that she could actually hear the sorrow in his voice as he sang of "my Jul". It was emotionally charged, hauntingly sad, and left no doubt that she had truly devastated him by being outside of his reach. Juliana's heart filled with grief over the pain she had caused her friend.

Starsky returned from class early, and he walked into his home to find his wife sobbing on the couch. She was inconsolable. He gently coaxed her to the bedroom, giving her some aspirin and a glass of water, and she laid down.

Before leaving the room to let her sleep, he said softly, "I'll call Hutch and tell him not to record that song." Starsky was kicking himself for ever suggesting that he make that album in the first place.

"NO!" Juliana sat up in the bed, tears filling her eyes again. "You can't do that! Please! Tell him to record them."

"Lee, I don't want these songs to upset you like this. Look how that tape affected you! This is exactly what he was afraid of. This is why he gave me the tape!" He sat down beside her on the bed. "He was right. It isn't fair to you."

"Davey, Hutch needs this." She pleaded with him, "Don't take this away from him. One of the last few times I spoke with him, he had admitted that singing had helped him, that it was cathartic. He said he got a positive reaction to his songs, and it helped him feel like he wasn't alone."

Dave was uncertain. He had seen the look on Hutch's face when he finished singing _Devastated_. She was right. The audience applauded with their appreciation, and he had smiled. It was the only time he had seen him smile during the performance. He had been pleased by their reaction to his song. "But I don't want you hurt by this, Lee."

She reached for David's hand. "I'll get over this. But Ken needs this. I think he _needs_ to express how he feels this way, David. This could be very healing for him. He is putting his heart out there in the music, and the audience is giving him support in return. Think about it. He is telling his audience about emotions he was incapable of expressing to you or me, or anyone else for that matter. He's sharing his story, getting it off of his chest."

He squeezed her hand. "Maybe you're right. But I can't see you this upset! That song is good enough to make it. Anita thinks he'll have a hit on his hands. What are we going to do if that song hits the charts? What'll that do _to you_? Are you gonna be able to deal with that?"

Juliana wasn't surprised Hutch's agent felt the song could be a hit. It was a beautiful song. "I'll deal with it. Just please tell Ken that I want him to record those songs. Tell him he has my blessing." David reluctantly accepted her decision.

At breakfast the next morning, Starsky picked up the phone to call Hutch at the studio about the tape. He told him how much she loved the album and that she wanted him to record the songs. He added that she gave her blessings. Hutch was suspicious. He sensed that his partner was not happy.

"I'm not buying this, Starsk," he replied. "There's something you aren't telling me."

"That's what she said, Hutch, I'm tellin' ya!"

"What _aren't_ you telling me?" he demanded.

Dave shot a quick glance at his wife. "I'm tellin' ya the truth. She said she gives her blessing."

"Put her on the phone, Starsky."

Starsky was surprised he would want to talk directly to her. "Are you sure about that, buddy?"

"Positive. Put her on."

Starsky handed the phone to his wife. She put on a smile and tried to sound cheerful. "Hiya Hutch!"

"Jul, I want the truth. I know Starsky is holding out on me here. Tell me about the songs."

"Oh Ken! The album is fantastic!" she said with exuberance. "I loved it. And the songs you wrote about me were remarkable. I can't tell you how moved I was to hear them."

Hutch paused. "Jul, tell me _what you felt_ when you heard them," he asked softly.

Juliana closed her eyes. Determined not to let the tears fall again, she took a deep breath. "You know how I felt about them Ken."

"They upset you," he said knowingly.

"Well, just the one," she admitted. " _Devastated_."

"Yes, I thought it might. Thanks for being honest with me, Jul. I won't record that one."

Alarmed, Juliana responded, "No, Hutch! I want you to record it!"

"Jul, I wrote that song for you. It's your song. I'm not going to put it on the album if it's going to upset you."

"Ken, you may have written that song about me, but it doesn't belong to me. It belongs to you and to your fans. I don't want you to bury it like something you are ashamed of. You owe it to your fans to put that song on the album. If my opinion means anything to you, you will put it on the album!"

"Not if it upsets you," he said finally.

Juliana gripped the phone tightly in her hand. The tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over. "Yes, of course the song upsets me. But that isn't the point, Ken. The song isn't the reason I was upset. The reason I am upset is because I am responsible for your pain. The _song_ is not the cause. It only serves to remind me of the situation. But it's not the only thing that reminds me either. I am reminded every single day! The fact that you are on the phone right now instead of facing me is a reminder, Ken. The chair that you always sat in by the fireplace that now sits empty is a reminder. The guest room that remains empty is a reminder. That I have to avoid being home if you plan on stopping by. The fact that I am not welcome at your concerts. That this is the first time we have spoken since you came back. That I have to hear the songs you wrote for me _on a tape_ , Ken! You can't even sing them to me, can't face me!

She took a deep breath and continued. "Does the song upset me? Hell yes, the song upsets me. You put your pain in the words and I can hear it in your voice. But you know what else I hear? I hear an incredible song. The best you have ever written. That song is beautiful, and if you hide it away I will never forgive you. You record that song, and you sing it in concert, and you give that song to your audience, your fans. And know that I will be the first one to jump up and applaud when you get an award for the best song of the year."

Hutch was struck by her honesty and her faith in his music. "Thank you Jul," he finally answered. His voice was tight. "If you want me to record it, I will."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, I want you to record it."

At the recording studio, Hutch ended his conversation with Juliana. He was visibly upset, and very tense. He finally grabbed his guitar, and ordered them to start recording. He paused just long enough to focus his attention, then immediately started to sing _Devastated_. He put everything he had into the song. His heart and his soul were in every note, every lyric. When he finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the studio. He got up and walked out, thrusting his guitar into Anita's hands. When the door closed behind him, she told everyone to break for lunch, then gently placed the guitar into its case. There would be no second take on this song, they would use the first take. It was heart stopping from the first note.

 

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Recording the album went extremely well. A month later, they finally had it to Hutch's satisfaction. The only song that was untouched and unedited was _Devastated_. All had felt the song was perfect after the single take. Only one thing had been amended with the song; the written lyrics were slightly altered before they were to appear with the album. Instead of reading "my Jul", Hutch had changed the phrase to read "my jewel". There was virtually no distinction in how it was pronounced, but it effectively removed Juliana's name from the song to protect her privacy.

Starsky had been enjoying his classes at the college. His grades were excellent, and he found that he adapted quite easily to academic work. One evening after class his favorite professor suggested that he apply to the academy for a teaching position. The man had been a police officer as well as a teacher at the academy. As he made the suggestion he had given Starsky a glowing letter of recommendation to be included with his resume. The gesture was flattering, and Starsky was touched. He took the man's advice and forwarded a resume and the offered letter to the academy for consideration. The letter had opened some doors, and had raised some eyebrows at the academy. Starsky's professor was highly regarded and respected, and the glowing letter of recommendation was not taken lightly. A job interview was quickly arranged, and Lt. David Starsky was soon offered a position on the teaching staff of the academy that trained him.

Shortly after Starsky had given his notice at BCPD, Hutch was transferred to Special Operations, where he began training in hostage negotiation. This was a field he had always been interested in and had shown a keen ability toward. While he and Starsky had worked the streets however, Hutch had refused to consider the transfer. Now that the partnership had been divided, the department had wasted no time in snatching up Lt. Ken Hutchinson. Captain Dobey was delighted. The position would open doors for the young Lieutenant.

Those were not the only doors opening for Hutch. His music was opening a whole new world for him to experience.

It was on a cool and sunny fall afternoon when Juliana first heard the song on the radio. She had been shopping and running errands, when the song came on in the car. Trembling, she pulled into a nearby parking lot, and sat listening to her friend's career begin to skyrocket. The disc jockeys were raving about the new tune, and listeners were calling to find out who the artist was who recorded it. The song would quickly prove to be a sensational hit.

Starsky heard the song in the faculty break room at the academy. He immediately jumped on the phone and had himself patched through to Hutch, who was on his way to a training seminar. The two listened to the song together, connected over the miles, and shared the moment so long in coming.

A few weeks later, as the song exploded onto the charts, Hutch was preparing for his first big concert. It was scheduled for Bay City, and instantly sold out. The album was selling off the shelves. Starsky had teased his partner mercilessly for the cover. Hutch had been unwilling to put his face on the cover, but Anita had talked him into posing for it anyway with a promise not to use his face. The front cover showed a picture of him from the back, from his shoulders to his thighs, shirtless, wearing nothing but tight jeans and with his hands handcuffed behind his hips. The back cover showed him stretched out on a jail bed, again shirtless, his arm draped across his face as if trying to rest, obscuring his face from the camera. The picture was taken from the other side of the bars. The pictures were very flattering, and had stirred great interest in the face that went along with the physique. Hutch took Starsky's endless teasing in stride, and was secretly pleased that his friend thought the pictures were good.

Starsky was bringing in the mail one morning, only to find an envelope addressed to his wife from Hutch. He handed the envelope to her, and asked, "You expecting to hear from Hutch?"

Juliana shook her head mutely, and opened the letter. Inside, she found a short note:

_Dear Jul,_

_You once stated that you were unwelcome at my concerts, but I wanted you to know that you are not only welcome at this concert, but your presence is requested. I am inviting you as my guest. Please come, Jul. I truly want you to be there and to share this with me._

_Love,_

_Ken_

Along with the letter was a pair of tickets for his sold out concert, front row center. She passed the letter and the tickets to her husband.

"I had asked Hutch to get me tickets but he said not to worry, that it had been taken care of," Starsky told her.

Juliana pouted, "Awww, you mean I have to bring YOU?"

Dave teased, "If you don't, I may just have to use tickling to get my way..." He wiggled his fingers in a threatening gesture.

"OKAY! Okay, I'll take you," she cried, jumping up and away to a safe distance.

When the concert rolled around, the two were terribly excited for their friend. Hutch's song was number one on the charts, and he was the talk of all the radio stations. A major concert tour had been arranged, and another sabbatical from work. Though unaware of his widespread popularity, Hutch was pleased that the people he talked to seemed to like his song and his album. He was nervous about the concert and oblivious to his recent star status.

Juliana and Starsky took their seats in the front row, beside Anita, Hutch's agent. She was ecstatic about the sold out concert hall, and had been describing to Starsky how Hutch had become a "hot item". During their discourse, Starsky introduced his wife to Anita. Upon hearing the name Juliana, Anita was stunned. She had heard Hutch speak of her in reference to his music, and she realized she was meeting the woman who had inspired the two best songs on the album. She shook Juliana's hand, and whispered to her, "You are 'my Jul', aren't you?" Blushing, Juliana nodded. She saw Anita's face break into a wide grin. "I am pleased to meet you, Lee. I feel like I know you already." Then she said to David, "Starsky, I knew you _knew_ Lee, but I wasn't aware you were _married_ to her!"

Quietly, Starsky responded, "It's not something easy to explain."

Anita nodded. "Yes, I can imagine. Well, this answers a lot of questions for me!"

Suddenly the lights darkened, and the opening band took the stage. Juliana, Starsky and Anita all waited impatiently for the main attraction. Finally, Hutch walked out on stage. He was wearing snug blue jeans, a grey-green t-shirt and a long sleeve denim shirt, with a white cowboy hat on his head. He carried his guitar, the zebra guitar strap vibrant against his blue shirt. The look was simple, yet he wore it well, and the audience cheered loudly when they finally saw his face.

He sat on a stool and prepared to play his guitar. Then he looked out at the audience. He glanced nervously at his friends in the front row for a second before he announced, "Hello everybody. Thank you for coming. I'm Ken Hutchinson." The crowd roared. Hutch looked to his partner, and chuckled, the noise too loud for anyone to hear him. Starsky flashed him a smile and nodded. Hutch started to play, and the roar instantly quieted.

For the first half of the show, he played most of his old songs, mixed with a few new ones. The crowd was responsive and enjoying themselves. During the intermission, Starsky and Juliana remained in their seats, anxious for the second half which would include the more popular songs from the album. While they were waiting, an usher approached Anita and Juliana each with a long florist box. Inside was an enormous single red rose. A gift was then presented to each of the three. To Anita he had given a rich pen engraved "Faith". To Starsky he gave a laser pointer for his classroom engraved "Partner". To Juliana he gave a small heart-shaped sapphire pendant, which Starsky clasped around her throat for her.

When the second half of the concert began, Hutch again walked out and took a seat on the stool. He glanced to his friends and nodded almost imperceptibly. The crowd again screamed its delight at his return, and this time he waited patiently for them to quiet. When it was silent, he started to play _Beloved_ , the ballad that he wrote to describe Juliana. The audience recognized the music and started to cheer again, so Hutch played the intro through again until it was quiet once more, then began to sing. Through most of the song he sang with his eyes closed, as if trying to picture her as he described her, but then opened his eyes during the last verse, focused on Juliana, singing directly to her. She winked at him as the song ended, and he gave his dazzling smile in return, to the great delight of the cheering audience.

During the song _Effective,_ one frenzied fan threw a pair of panties onto the stage, landing at Hutch's feet. Amused, Hutch caught the lacy garment on the toe of his cowboy boot, and kicked it off the stage, right into the face of his embarrassed partner. A few other undergarments later graced the stage, but remained where they landed.

The concert ended, the song _Devastated_ unsung, and Hutch left the stage. The audience started to chant "my jewel, my jewel, my jewel!" until Hutch returned for his encore. First he sang a song called The Dutchman, and dedicated it to some dear friends in the audience. The song had always been a favorite of Juliana's and Starsky's.

His final song of the evening was _Devastated_. Starsky put a protective arm around his wife, aware of how difficult it still was for her to hear the tune. This was the first time she would hear Hutch perform it in front of her. Hutch sang directly to her, and sang as if the entire room were empty. All he could see was Jul, the only thing he could hear was her breath. He sang the song as he did in the studio, the raw emotion not only evident in his voice but in his expression. Tears streamed down Juliana's face, and Hutch could see them in the dark concert hall, glinting in his reflected spotlights. The audience was silent until the last note played. Hutch closed his eyes after singing the last note, opening them when he heard the crowd erupt into a thundering standing ovation.

Shocked, Hutch looked to Starsky who was beaming and applauding, also on his feet, grinning from ear to ear. As the realization dawned on Hutch that this incredible and powerful reaction from the audience was to his own music, Hutch burst into a delighted and surprised smile. He looked back to Starsky and locked eyes with him, a silent message of shock, pleasure and excitement. He looked to Juliana, and saw her smiling through her tears, and walked to the edge of the stage and knelt down. He reached for her hand, which she gave to him, and he stroked her fingers with this thumb. He turned to Starsky and firmly shook his partner's hand. Then he blew a playful kiss to his agent, and stood up waving to his adoring fans. He yelled his thanks to the crowd and ran off the stage. He ran off a different man than who had stepped on.

Anita directed Starsky and Juliana back to his dressing room. They found Hutch nervously pacing the room. As soon as he saw his best friend, he ran and grasped Starsky into a crushing bear hug. Starsky clapped him on the back, and the two reached over and grabbed Lee into the hug as well. They celebrated for hours, joined by Huggy Bear and Capt. Dobey and his wife, Edith. Several friends from The Pits and from BCPD stopped by to offer their congratulations on his successful and wonderful concert.

Hutch's music career took off. The song stayed at number one for a record-breaking time, and the album soon went platinum.

 

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After his concert tour had ended, Hutch met a woman.

He found himself browsing through the bookstore in early search of a gift for Starsky for Christmas. He was deep in thought when he felt a presence at his side. Turning to see the stranger who had come to stand beside him, he was dumbfounded to see a woman who bore a striking resemblance to Juliana.

She was dressed in a well tailored business suit, the professional look of the blazer softened by the low cut and sheer fabric of the feminine blouse beneath it, her curly dark hair falling loose down her back. She stood proudly, exuding an air of assured competence.

"Is there anything I can help you find?" the woman inquired.

He managed to squelch his shock over her resemblance and glanced at the name tag which announced her as a manager of the bookstore. The name _Tamara_ was blazoned across it, looking out of place to Hutch who expected to see _Juliana_ there. "Yes," he answered, staring at her intently. "I am looking for a gift. A book about sailing vessels for someone who builds model ships. Do you have such a thing?"

She helped him search the shelves but they found little that seemed appropriate to Hutch. When she bent over to examine the lower shelves, he found he was much more interested in observing her well toned figure than searching the book jackets.

"Come with me," she motioned. "I think I read about something that may interest you." The woman led Hutch to a counter in the back of the store. They stood closely side by side as she began to search through some papers. She found what she sought. It was a review of a new book about sailing vessels. "This book is just recently released, but I may be able to get you a copy if you would like me to order it." She handed the paper to him. She read aloud, " _Seamanship in the Age of Sail: An Account of the Shiphandling of the Sailing Man-Of-War 1600-1860, Based on Contemporary Sources_ by John Harland and Mark Myers. Other books on ship anatomy and modeling show you the parts and often just lead you to ask _what is that for?_ and _how did they do it?_ Unlike the other books this one has the answers with a skillful use of diagrams and photos..."

Hutch had unconsciously reached out and placed his hand low at the back of her waist as he smiled and said, "Thank you, Tamara." He stared into her eyes unwillingly, captivated by their color. Juliana's eyes were brown, but this woman had beautiful blue eyes that swallowed him up. She was taller than Juliana as well, nearly looking Hutch in the eye. He was unaware of it, but he was responding to her as if she were Juliana, speaking to her in a velvet voice, his body language suggesting a familiarity with her by its closeness and unreserved touch. He had to force his eyes back to the paper she handed him.

"Please, call me Tammy," she said somewhat nervously, unaccustomed to having her physical space intruded upon. She was taken aback by his manner with her, but not displeased. He was very handsome, and his manner was very seductive. He displayed a strong confidence, as if it were completely natural to be so close and so physical with a stranger. She found it hard to resist this bold and self-assured man.

Hutch's smile broadened, dazzling Tammy. "I'm Ken," he responded in kind. "This is exactly what I'm looking for. Please order it for me. How long will it take to come in?"

He placed the review on the counter before her, leaning in toward her as she filled out the necessary paperwork for the order, sliding his hand a little higher up her back. It sent shivers up her spine, and she fought to hide her reaction. She contemplated stepping back out of his arm, but she found that she rather enjoyed the attention this man was focusing on her in spite of the fact that it was stirring her physically. She was used to being in control, though she relished a man that could test her resolve. Determined to give the forms her full attention, she asked for his personal information; name, phone and address.

As the forms were completed, Hutch again looked into Tammy's eyes. "I wish I had a form like that to fill out about you," he grinned playfully. "Would you object if I asked you for your phone number?"

Tammy smiled back, completely lost in his soulful blue eyes. She took up a piece of paper from the counter and proceeded to write her name, address and phone number on it, slipping it into Hutch's hand. He clasped her hand and held it a moment, continuing his intent gaze into her eyes. He became more serious as he spoke, "Tammy, have dinner with me Friday."

"I get off work at seven," she sounded more confident than she felt. "Why don't you pick me up here?"

He gently squeezed her hand. "Seven it is." He lifted the hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on the back of it, his breath warm against her skin. Eyes twinkling, he turned and left the store.

Tammy watched him leave, lost in thought about this impressive and attractive man. An excited co-worker ran up to her and whirled her about to gain her attention.

"Tammy! Why didn't you tell me you knew Ken Hutchinson?!" the girl cried out to her boss.

"You know him?" Tammy asked startled. "What can you tell me about him?"

 _"Are you serious?"_ the girl squealed. "That was Ken Hutchinson! The _singer_!"

Bewildered, Tammy asked, "He's a singer?"

The exasperated girl threw up her arms in frustration. "Yes he's a singer! He's also a cop, a detective in Bay City. He wrote the songs _Devastated_ and _Beloved_. Don't tell me you never heard of him!! My God, do you live under a rock??"

She recognized the songs, and her eyebrows shot up. "Are you sure that's him?" she asked.

"I saw him in concert, Tammy. The guy doesn't like to be photographed and he avoids interviews, but I saw him on stage. I'm sure it's him." The young girl grabbed a newspaper that had been discarded under the counter. Flipping through until she found an ad for the local record store, she located a picture of Hutch's album advertised on sale. "Look at this!"

Looking at the advertisement for Ken Hutchinson's album, Tammy saw a photo of a man's naked back, his hands handcuffed at his hips, clad in tight jeans. Her eyes widened.

"Nice ass, huh?" the young girl giggled.

Tammy gathered up and smacked the girl with the newspaper good naturedly, trying to conceal the blush that had risen to her own cheeks. _Guess I'll have to buy this album now_ , she mused.


	6. Chapter 6

Hutch and Tammy had enjoyed their dinner but ate far too much. Tammy suggested taking a walk as they left the restaurant, so they strolled down the street along with the other Friday night participants. A few doors down from where they ate the pair could hear old fashioned dance music playing.

"Big band music!" Tammy exclaimed with glee. "Let's go in!"

"You like this music?" Hutch asked in surprise.

"I love this music!" she cried, grabbing his arm and directing him into the bar. It was a dark and romantic piano bar that featured a big band night every Friday. The band was terrific, and the two had a great time watching the older set dancing to the swing music. They braved some of the slower dances, but held back to let the experts tackle the rest of the songs. Eventually they wandered outside to an open beer garden to have a drink in the cool evening breeze.

"I'm so warm," Tammy fanned herself

"Yes," Hutch agreed, "it was crowded in there."

She spotted something off in the distance and her eyes sparkled. "Let's go down this way." She wandered away from the tables and found a path leading away from the building, Hutch following her lead.

They walked quite a distance. Hutch was about to ask her where she was heading when he suddenly realized they had come upon a small lake with a pier. He hadn't seen it from the beer garden because there were no lights. They found the path with only the help of the full moon.

"I used to come here when I was younger," Tammy explained to him. "Wait here." She placed a gentle hand on his chest to emphasize her point. She walked to the edge of the pier to look out over the water a moment. Slowly she turned back to face Hutch, and began to peel away her clothes, dropping them into a heap piece by piece at her feet as he watched with wide eyes. When she had finished, standing completely naked at the end of the dock, Hutch took a step in her direction. She smiled then quickly turned and dove into the water.

Hutch strode to the end of the dock and stood, hand on hips, a big grin on his face. She swam backwards, silently beckoning him to join her. He followed suit, disrobing for her as she happily watched from the water. Once naked, he dove in after her, chasing her as she took flight.

He caught up to her after a short chase, catching her from behind. He had caught her by the waist, and she stood in the deep water with him directly behind her, his hands on her hips. She grabbed his left hand and pulled his hand to her breast. Hutch cupped both her breasts with his hands, caressing and stroking, until she slid his right hand down between her legs. Tammy moaned softly to his touch and leaned back into his chest, feeling the hardness of him behind her. Suddenly she whirled around and threw her arms about his neck, kissing him with a ravenous appetite. Hutch grabbed her, thrusting within as she cried out in pleasure. Her legs wrapped around him and she moved to her own rhythm, supported by his firm hands. He let her set the pace, following her lead. In her climax she cried out again, soon followed by Hutch.

She gave him a passionate kiss, arms and legs still tightly wrapped around him, her hand tightly clasped in his wet hair. "God, you are delicious!" she happily purred into his ear.

Hutch started to chuckle. Tammy leaned back and cocked her head expectantly. "Tammy, if I had realized how bashful you were, I would have been a lot more gentle with you," he laughed.

Tammy started to laugh herself. "I guess I was rather aggressive, huh? Is that a bad thing?"

"Absolutely not. I rather enjoy your passion for life, and for sex!"

She kissed him again, this time more gently. "Sometimes I'm aggressive, sometimes passive, sometimes playful; it depends on my mood. And sometime, I just might want you to try out those handcuffs of yours...!" With that comment she swam off, leaving him with a startled expression on his face.

After a moment's hesitation sparked by her unexpected comment, he swam off after her, a naughty grin spreading across his face. Tammy pulled herself from the water and walked down the dock, stopping short of the pile of clothes to sit and stretch out her long legs. The breeze would serve to dry her before she donned her clothes again. She leaned her head back and let her long tresses hang freely, shaking out the water. Hutch came up and sat beside her. "Your hair is so long," he mused, dodging the spray of water she shook out.

"The water pulls all the curls straight, and you can see the full length," she replied, running her fingers through the tangles. She pulled a comb from the purse she cast aside earlier and began to comb through it. It was already beginning to curl up again. She then took the comb to his hair as well, finishing by giving him a long slow kiss. "I don't want tonight to end," she said softly, kissing down his neck.

"Stay with me tonight," he said, caressing her cheek.

Tammy smiled. "Thought you'd never ask." They gathered up their clothes and proceeded to dress. They leisurely walked arm in arm back down the path that led to the beer garden. His hair was completely dry by the time they returned; her hair was damp but nearly dry in spite of its long length. They had another drink and wandered back into the building to see the dancers twirling to the sounds of Glen Miller's _String of Pearls_.

"Ken, would you consider taking dancing classes with me?" she inquired, eyeing him intently. "I want to learn to dance like this, and I'll need a partner."

Hutch smiled at her. It did look like fun. "I'd love to be your dance partner. Sign me up." He wondered to himself how much humiliation Starsky would subject him to for this.

Her face lit up with a spectacular smile. "Really?" He nodded and she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with delight.

True to his word, Hutch took the classes with his new girlfriend. The dancing lessons went extremely well. Tammy had signed them up for Arthur Murray, which allowed them a lot of flexibility for class times. Hutch was awkward and embarrassed at first, but soon caught on and began to really shine. Tammy was a natural, picking up everything quickly. Within weeks they were quite the couple to watch. They often returned on Friday nights to the big band night at the bar, and began to feel at home among the other more experienced dancers.

Hutch was able to keep their classes a secret from Starsky, who had yet to meet Tammy.

 

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"Would you come with me to visit my grandmother, Ken?" Tammy was placing home baked cookies carefully into a metal canister, playfully swatting his hands away as he tried to sample one.

"If I go with you can I have one of these?" Hutch bargained good naturedly.

She popped one into his mouth. "If you're _good_ , I'll make you a whole batch of these." Her eyebrows wiggled for emphasis.

He swallowed the last of his cookie, pulling her into his arms. "What do you mean IF I'm good?" He nibbled down her neck sparking goose bumps as he kissed. "Are you complaining?"

Tammy laughed. "Absolutely not! It's not a matter of quality, Ken Hutchinson. It's a matter of frequency! I haven't seen enough of you lately."

Hutch slid the strap off of her shoulder with a feather light touch, following its path with more kisses. "You're seeing me now," he said quietly. He looked at her with his big blue eyes smoldering with promise.

Reluctantly pulling away from his embrace she complained, "Ken! You know I have to leave in a few minutes! Please don't tease me." She resumed her task with the cookies.

He grinned to himself. Teasing was exactly what he had in mind and what he had been up to since his arrival. He reached over and slid the shoulder strap back into place very slowly. She visibly shivered. "I'm sorry Tammy. We have the whole weekend together, I promise. Work has kept me busy lately with the Webster case, but it's over now and I have a lot more time to spend with you, beautiful lady."

She had finished packing the cookies and slid the cover onto the canister. The chocolate chips had left little smears of chocolate on her fingers so she glanced around for a cloth to wipe them off. Hutch stopped her, taking her hand in his and brought it to his lips. He proceeded to kiss, lick and suck the chocolate from her fingers, his eyes never leaving hers.

Tammy groaned. "Ken! Please stop that!" She did not withdraw her hand.

His kissing stopped as he looked at her with feigned innocence. "I was just trying to help," he grinned. She gave him a frustrated look. "Will you forgive me if I come with you today?"

Her face brightened. "Will you, Ken? I'd like you to meet Gran. She's a wonderful woman."

"Sure, I'd like to meet her." He also relished the idea of the long drive and lots more teasing. In spite of her comments to the contrary, Tammy was enjoying it just as much as he was.

Her eyes narrowed as she guessed his thoughts. "You have to keep your hands to yourself in the car, hon. No distracting the driver. At least, not until the way home..."

Shaking his head he laughed. "No promises, Tammy. You've kept me at bay all morning because you had to bake these cookies. The longer you make me wait for a chance to be alone with you, the harder I'm going to make it for you!" He grabbed her wrist and yanked her into his arms, capturing her with a forceful kiss that left her breathless.

"This is going to be a long afternoon," she muttered, amused. Grabbing her car keys and the cookie canister she gestured for the door. "Let's go."

The drive was pleasant, and Hutch kept up his gentle teasing the whole way, planning on much more aggressive moves on the return trip. They were very happy to be spending time in each other's company, and enjoying the closeness that had been developing over the past couple months together.

When they finally entered the nursing home where Gran lived, Tammy led the way to the front desk. The gentleman at the desk smiled and greeted Tammy warmly. "I missed you these past few weeks, Tammy!" he exclaimed.

"Roger! How was the cruise?" She hugged him. "Did Lanie have a good time?"

"We had a marvelous time!" he answered. "It was hard to come back, but then I just had to see your pretty smile once again!"

She smiled. "Aren't you sweet!" She put her arm through Hutch's and announced, "Roger, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Ken Hutchinson. I'm going to introduce him to Gran today."

Roger shook Hutch's hand. "You have quite a woman on your hands, Ken. She's one in a million. This place wouldn't be the same without her."

"He just says that because he's hoping I'll sneak him a cookie," Tammy winked, leaving a few on his desk.

They headed away from Roger and down the hall toward Gran's room. "Why did he say the place wouldn't be the same without you?" Hutch asked Tammy.

"Oh, I do some volunteer work here," she confessed. "It's nothing really. Roger is just being kind."

Every person they passed in the hall knew Tammy. The employees showed great pleasure in seeing her and the residents treated her with fondness. Hutch could feel a real sense of community here, warm and comforting.

Tammy finally made her way to Gran's room. There she introduced Hutch to a tiny Italian woman that couldn't have been five feet tall. Her hair was snow white and as curly as Tammy's, though she wore it very short, and her eyes were just as bright a blue. Her eyes were sharp, as was her mind, and her vibrancy was a glowing force to be reckoned with. Hutch could see where Tammy got her lust for life.

"Ken, it is good to finally meet you. Please call me Rose. Tammy has spoken of you often." She took his hand and patted it. "Tell me, what is it you do for a living, son?"

"I am a police officer," Hutch replied. "A Lieutenant for the Bay City Police Department. I have recently been transferred to Special Operations, where I have been mostly focused on hostage negotiation."

Rose's eyes studied him. "Hostage negotiation? It takes a wise and diplomatic man to tackle such tasks. What were you doing prior to your transfer?"

"I was a homicide detective in the Metro Division."

"That explains a lot," she said, still studying him. "You have a look of someone who has seen a great deal, both good and bad. It is in your eyes." She held up his hand, palm up. "But it does not explain these calluses."

Hutch smiled. "I also play the guitar and sing."

Rose was pleased. "A singer too!"

"Gran used to sing in her day," Tammy interjected. "She was quite good. She also played the piano. Hutch plays piano too, Gran."

"You'll have to play for me sometime," Rose insisted. "There is a piano in the game room, and a guitar."

"I'll play for you now," Hutch offered.

"Hutch's album has recently gone Platinum. He's a big music celebrity now," Tammy told her grandmother, winking at a blushing Hutch. "Some of your fellow inmates here may have heard of him."

"We'll just have to see," Rose quipped, leading them all out of the room to the game room.

The game room was a huge room that served as a multi-purpose room. There were several tables and chairs spread around, a large tv at one end, and a movie screen on the opposite wall. The huge grand piano took up most of the corner, beside a small stage. There were several musical instruments set upon the stage that appeared to be well cared for. Hutch was drawn to a guitar propped against the wall. He picked it up and strummed a few notes, finding it to be perfectly tuned. "That's Frankie's guitar," Rose indicated. "He won't mind if you want to play it. We all kind of share our music here."

Hutch smiled and took a seat on a stool on the stage. He began to play and the room filled with his beautiful voice. Many of the residents heard his singing and began to file into the game room for an impromptu concert. Tammy had been right, many of the residents had heard of him, and the staff was all familiar with his work. The room was soon crowded with happy listeners.

Some of the residents joined the stage and took up their instruments, joining in with Hutch and Rose, who had now taken her seat at the piano. Soon songs of the 30s, 40s and 50s were being requested, and they all tried to provide a delightful rendition. Rose and Hutch even sang a duet, A Bushel And A Peck; a tune that his grandfather used to sing to him as a child. When Frankie had reclaimed his guitar, and some of friends were playing a lively swing tune, Tammy persuaded Hutch to dance with her in front of the stage. Many of Rose's contemporaries joined in, and a party atmosphere prevailed. For the next several dances, Hutch forfeited his partner to trip the light with Rose, who was still quite a wonderful dancer. She was impressed with his abilities on a dance floor. Tammy in turn danced with some of the male member of the audience. Some tables and chairs had been moved aside and a small dance floor had been cleared. Those who were unable to dance sat and enjoyed the music and the show.

"Where did you learn to dance like that?" Rose asked Hutch. "I didn't think you young people wanted to hold each other while you danced anymore."

"Your granddaughter talked me into dance classes," he confessed to his new friend.

Rose burst into smile. "How did she talk you into that?"

"She can be pretty persuasive," he grinned.

"Yes, and strong willed," Rose clucked. "Can't imagine where she gets it from." Her eyes sparkled. They both knew very well where she got it from.

Soon Rose and Hutch claimed a seat at a table and were joined by several staff members. A few begged autographs off of Hutch, and were excited for the chance to sit and chat with him.

"It's so good to have Tammy here," Roger told Hutch. "She has a way of bringing life to this place every time she shows up. It's like she adopted every one of the residents here. They all think of her as a granddaughter. She often gets everyone singing or dancing or cheering on a football game. It's never boring with her around, I'll tell you. She comes here every week, sometimes more often. And if someone is sick or ill, she comes by every day to visit them. My boss offered to give her a job, but she declined."

Hutch watched Tammy with the crowd. She was definitely enjoying herself, and her pleasure spread to all of those before her. The business-like aura of control that she exuded at work was completely gone, and replaced with an openness and a caring that one usually reserves for those closest to their heart. Tammy treated the entire group as if they were her family, her dearest loved ones. Rose watched her granddaughter with great pride.

"Tammy could never treat this as a job, Roger," Rose explained. "You might as well offer to pay her to be your friend. She can't do it. She can't accept pay for being who she is."

A young man, dressed all in white peeked into the game room. Rose waved him over and he grinned broadly when he found her. As he approached, it was evident that he was a cook, carrying a covered plate to Rose.

"Let me know what you think, Rose," the young man said anxiously, putting the dish before her and removing the lid. It was a plate of egg plant parmesan, and smelled incredible.

Rose took up a fork and tasted a mouthful of the dish. "Ah Sammy, you did well my boy!" She pinched his cheek, and he looked immensely relieved. "You stopped using that dreadful cheese!"

"Shhhhh!" Sammy put a hushing finger to his mouth. "Don't let Crompkey hear you say that," he chuckled. "I had to rearrange the food budget to be able to buy that cheese. We better not get any complaints this month when we don't have fresh lima beans. I ditched them and bought the better cheese."

She laughed and patted his cheek affectionately. "They won't complain. No one but Crompkey eats those things anyway." She took up another forkful and held it up to Hutch. "Taste this Ken and tell me if you will be staying with us for dinner."

Hutch took the forkful and his eyes grew wide with surprise. It was heavenly. "That is fantastic!" he gasped. "You bet I'll stay for dinner! Do you eat like this all the time?"

"Only when Sammy here is cooking," Rose beamed.

"Rose has been teaching me to cook," Sammy announced proudly. "This is her recipe. This woman can cook like you wouldn't believe." He departed to finish the evening meal.

"I taught Tammy to cook too," Rose nudged Hutch. "There were no boxes of instant anything at our house. All fresh, all home made. She is a good cook, but she won't bother if she doesn't have an appreciative audience. She says it's no fun to cook for yourself."

Hutch smiled. He did most of the cooking when he and Tammy were together, or they went out to dinner. The few times she did cook were marvelous. He made a mental note to ask her to cook more often, and to be sure she had that appreciative audience.

Tammy slid into a chair at the table. "I'm worn out," she said breathlessly. "It's a good thing dinner is coming or these guys would be carrying me out on a stretcher, collapsed from exhaustion."

"Sammy fixed your favorite," Rose reported, sliding the dish to Tammy.

"Egg plant!" Tammy burst out, greedily eating a large forkful. "That sweetheart! You told him I was coming didn't you!"

"Sure did," Rose laughed. "He wanted to fix you something special." Then she said quietly to Hutch, "The staff all adore her here."

"Yes, I see that," he responded, looking to Tammy.

"You do too," Rose noted, approvingly.

"Yes, I do," he grinned. He put his arm around Tammy and she gave him a kiss.

Soon the dinner was served. They all ate heartily of Sammy's handiwork. After the meal was finished, Tammy and Hutch had to say their goodbyes. It was getting late and they had already stayed much longer than they intended.

The drive back took them longer than the ride in. Hutch had resumed his teasing of Tammy, and when his roaming fingers crept up her inner thigh, she could take it no longer and found a remote side road to turn down, and the two delighted in a sensual romp in the front seat of the car.

 

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Hutch had been very closed-mouthed about Tammy with Starsky, igniting his partner's curiosity. Starsky had been pestering him to introduce her, yet Hutch managed to put him off time after time. It wasn't until they had been together for a few months that Hutch agreed to introduce her to his friend over dinner.

They had decided on Margarite's, a new fine dining establishment that had just opened and had positive reviews. Starsky arrived early, enjoying a leisurely drink until Hutch arrived with his mystery woman. He marveled at the fact that the only thing he knew about this woman was her name, Tammy.

The mystery was soon clear as Starsky watched the pair approach the table. He was barely able to contain his surprise when he saw the woman at Hutch's side. She bore a remarkable resemblance to Juliana. He was able to mask his shock, and managed to get through the introductions with great charm. Casting a concealed glance at Hutch, he saw his partner suppress a smile, and his eyes dance with mischief.

Tammy was captivating. She was intelligent, kind and generous, and Starsky was enjoying the dinner with her. He felt completely at ease with her, and found himself opening up to her without hesitation. She had a way of making others feel comfortable, and she inspired his trust.

He kept his concerns hidden until she excused herself to powder her nose. After she was gone, he turned his questioning eyes to Hutch.

"So how do you like Tammy, Starsk?" Hutch asked innocently.

Starsky raised his eyebrows. "What do I think of her? That's all you're gonna say? You know, you could've warned me. I really didn't expect to be having dinner with a clone of my wife, pal."

"I didn't want you to jump to any conclusions," Hutch argued. "I wanted you to talk to her first, get to know her."

"I feel like I know her already!" Starsky complained. "Tell me you've talked this over with the doc."

"Yes, Doc knows all about her," Hutch reassured him, referring to his therapist. "But really, Starsk, what do you think of her?"

"She's a great girl, Hutch, but you know what I'm worried about. I'm afraid all you see in her is Lee. That isn't fair to her, or to you."

Hutch nodded. "I know you're concerned, but it isn't like that." He looked at Starsky directly and said, "I admit her looks are what drew me to her in the first place. But the better I got to know her, the less I saw of Jul in her. When I look at Tammy, I don't see what's the same, I see what's different, and I enjoy those differences. I like her for who she is, not who she resembles. Try to get past the superficial aspect, and tell me what you think of her."

"What's not to like?" Starsky admitted. She had impressed him and completely charmed the socks off of him. "I like her a lot. But I don't know about this Hutch. It's not right."

"I'm really crazy about her," Hutch confessed. "I'm falling in love with her, buddy. I need you to give her a real chance." Starsky nodded as Tammy returned to the table.

The waiter had returned to inquire after dessert, and Starsky piped up, "Yes, we'll have three dishes of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, and three Grand Marnier please." Hutch started to protest but his partner cut him off and Tammy took his side.

Tammy asked Starsky, "David, how do you feel about Hutch's music career, now that he is such a huge success? Ken tells me that you were the one responsible for encouraging him to seriously pursue music."

Starsky's face lit up. "He said that?" Tammy nodded and Hutch shrugged. Starsky got very quiet for a moment, lost in thought before answering. "I'm real happy for him. I knew his music was important to him." Then he asked, "Did Hutch tell you about me getting shot?"

"Oh yes, Ken has told me about it," she said. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all that."

"I couldn't have gotten through it if it weren't for this guy here," he replied very seriously. He continued speaking, his words directed at Tammy but his eyes couldn't meet hers. "When I was in critical condition, Hutch stayed with me all the time. I knew he was there. I could feel him there. I was fighting, fighting for my breath, fighting to wake up, fighting for my life. Then I heard him singing. Sometimes in the beginning it was songs I'd told him I liked, or sometimes it was church songs. It was comforting, you know? It made it easier for me. I was struggling to live, but I would hear Hutch singing, and I knew I wasn't struggling alone. It made it easier for me." He swallowed hard, having difficulty sharing his story.

"Starsky..." Hutch was interrupted by the waiter bringing their ice cream and Grand Marnier.

"Ah!" Starsky's face lit up. "Allow me!" He took the liquor and drizzled it over the ice cream, then handed Tammy a spoon and slid the ice cream over to her.

She took a spoonful, then moaned in delight. "Oh Dave, that is good. Try this Ken!" Tammy spoon-fed the frozen treat into Hutch's mouth.

"Not bad," he smiled. Starsky flashed him his dazzling smile. They all dug into their ice cream. Hutch stopped, suddenly remembering what his friend had said. "Starsky, who told you about the church songs?"

"Nobody told me," Starsky answered. "I heard them. Amazing Grace, and one that went, 'I will play for Him on my harp"..."

"Like Cedars," Hutch's eyes widened.

"Yeah, Like Cedars," Starsky smiled. "That one I liked a lot."

"But Starsk..."

"It doesn't matter Hutch," Starsky interrupted him. He turned back to Tammy and this time met her eyes. "What I was saying is his singing helped me. It reached me when nothin' else did. When things were real bad, and I felt like givin' up, I'd hear him singin' and I would hang on. But then as I got better, I realized his singing helped him too. It calmed him, just like it comforted me. It made him stronger, just like it made me fight. I knew someday there'd be a time that I wouldn't be here and couldn't help him through a rough patch, and I knew if he had his music he'd be okay. But I knew if I didn't push him, he'd just let it go. I couldn't let him drop it. It was too important."

"David...," Tammy reached out and laid her hand on his and gave it a squeeze. She hadn't expected this response from him. Hutch was at a loss for words.

Starsky continued to speak directly to Tammy. "Those songs he wrote in Germany, I knew he had to record them. They were too damn good to just be played in some old smoky bar. Really good. 'Course, you couldn't tell him that. He wouldn't believe it until he heard it from his agent," he turned and winked at his friend. "You can see it when he sings. He puts himself out there for the crowd, but they give something back to him too. When I'm gone, he's gonna need that." He nodded in Hutch's direction.

"Come on Starsk, you're not going anywhere," Hutch chided, somewhat choked up by his friend's frank comments.

"Not yet anyway," Starsky smiled. He stood up and excused himself from the table to visit the men's room. Tammy and Hutch were left alone to contemplate Starsky's words.

"Wow, I hadn't expected that," Tammy said softly.

"Neither did I," Hutch exclaimed. "He never told me how he felt about my singing before. He told me he thought I was good, and that I should record the songs, but he's never spoken of any of this to me before."

"Is he okay?" Tammy asked. "I mean, is his health good? His heart?" She knew of the time Starsky's heart stopped beating.

"Yes, he's fine," Hutch said uncertainly. It did sound like Starsky had spent some time contemplating death, and he didn't know if there was a reason to be concerned.

Tammy asked, "What was it about the songs? It seemed like there was more to that than he was saying, and you seemed a little surprised by it."

"I don't know how he knew about those Christian songs," Hutch shook his head. He was puzzled. "I sang those songs to him when he was unconscious. As far as I knew at the time, no one heard me sing them but him."

"He could have heard about it from a nurse or doctor," Tammy surmised.

"Yeah, that's probably it," Hutch agreed. He still wondered how he knew the lyrics to _Like Cedars_. He had referred directly to the first line of the song. Starsky was Jewish, and it was unlikely he would be familiar with a Christian song that didn't pertain to the holiday season. He still felt like he needed to ask Starsky about this later.

"I didn't realize how close you two were," Tammy admitted. "I know you were friends, but you seem much closer than that."

"We are. He's like a brother to me. I love that guy Tammy, I really do."

She smiled. "I can see why. And the feeling appears to be mutual."

Starsky returned to the table and the three prepared to leave. Starsky and Hutch's cars were parked next to each other in the parking lot. Hutch held the door for Tammy, then walked around the car and stopped to say a final goodnight to his friend. Over the roof of the car Hutch said, "Come over tomorrow. I want to talk to you." Starsky nodded and waved. Then he ducked into his car, and drove off.

 

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The following afternoon, Starsky and Hutch were enjoying a leisurely beer at Hutch's. Starsky had been distracted all day, and it had his friend worried. "Starsky, do you have something on your mind?" he finally asked.

Starsky sat down on the floor with his back against the front of the couch. "Who me? No," he replied.

Hutch took a seat on the couch. He didn't have to see Starsky's eyes to know he wasn't leveling with him. "Starsk, I've been meaning to ask you something," he began.

Starsky was playing with the label on his beer.

 _Time to try the blunt approach,_ Hutch mused. "How come you're thinking about death lately?"

Starsky didn't even flinch. Hutch felt like he had expected this. "After the shooting, I've thought about it a lot."

"Why? Has something happened? Have you been back to the doctor lately?"

Starsky's head shot up and he caught Hutch's eyes. He saw the concern there, and he hadn't anticipated that. "No Hutch, it's nothin' like that," he reassured him.

"Then what is it?" Starsky didn't answer. "Why can't you talk to me?"

Starsky looked up at Hutch and gave him a sad, weak smile. "It's not something you want to hear about."

"Give me a shot."

Starsky fiddled with the label again. "Aren't you going to ask me about the church songs?"

Hutch's eyebrows shot up. He had been curious about this, but didn't know what the connection was to his friend's recent preoccupation with death. "Yeah. Tell me about that. How did you know what songs I sang in the hospital?"

"I told you. I heard them," he answered simply.

"You were in a coma at the time, buddy. Nobody heard me singing those songs."

Hutch thought back to the horrible time in the hospital where they all feared for Starsky's life. He had refused to leave his bedside, afraid to step away that he may not be there when he returned. He had wept, prayed and pleaded with God for Starsky to make it. He would talk to his partner constantly, trying to will him to hang on. When he ran out of words, sometimes he sang.

"I heard you singing," Starsky answered quietly.

Confused, Hutch asked, "How could you hear me singing, partner? You were unconscious."

"My body was unconscious. I was there with you." Starsky continued to stare at the bottle in his hands. He had peeled off all the labels, and now sat pondering the amber liquid in the brown bottle. "I heard you." Then he finally looked up at Hutch. "It's not an easy thing to admit."

"What isn't?"

"That I was there with you. That I was listening to you. That I heard you praying. I heard you crying. I heard you telling me to live. I heard you singing. It's a private thing, and I wasn't supposed to be hearing it." He looked back at his beer. "I wasn't in the bed. There was too much pain, and I was tired of fighting. I was with you. I could see you, see your face. I could see _me_."

"I don't understand," Hutch leaned forward on the couch, trying to see his face better. "Are you telling me you had an out of body experience?"

"I don't know what it was. I just know I was with you," he replied. "It's not like I can go up to somebody and ask them 'hey, the last time you had an out of body experience, was it like this?' I just know what I saw, what I heard."

Hutch was dumbstruck. He stared at his friend. Their eyes locked, and he could see the sadness in Starsky's eyes. He knew his friend spoke the truth, and that he held acceptance of what had happened to him. "Starsk, why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Because it was private. I wasn't supposed to be hearing what I heard; I wasn't supposed to be seeing what I saw."

Hutch wasn't satisfied with his answer. "Starsk, there isn't anything I did or said then that I couldn't face you with. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to have you know. Why couldn't you talk to me about this?"

Starsky fell silent. He fiddled with the beer bottle again, then looked to Hutch, then looked back to the bottle. Hutch knew well enough to wait him out. Finally he answered. "I didn't just see you, or what was going on in the room, Hutch. I saw other stuff."

"Other stuff?"

He nodded. "Other stuff."

"Such as...?"

"I saw my life, Hutch."

"Your life." Hutch was trying to be patient. "You mean you saw your life pass before your eyes?"

"Something like that," Starsky chuckled, but there was little mirth in it. "I saw my life pass before my eyes, but it was not my past."

The hair was rising on the nape of Hutch's neck. "What are you trying to say Starsk?"

"I saw things, Hutch. Things a man's not supposed to see. I saw my life. I saw where it was going. I saw what happened after I was gone. I saw things that hadn't happened yet." Starsky stood up without looking at Hutch and walked to the kitchen to get them each another beer.

He returned to a speechless Hutch, and handed him a fresh beer. Finally their eyes met. Starsky opened his beer and took a drink, not losing eye contact with his friend. After a long while Hutch asked, "What did you see?"

"I saw Lee." He smiled, "I thought she was an angel."

Hutch smiled too. "Well, you weren't wrong there, partner."

"I saw my recovery. I saw my house. I saw my wedding. I saw me teaching at the academy." Starsky sat down on the floor again, resting his back against the front of the couch. "It was a message to me, Hutch; these visions were a message. I saw the crowds cheering you at your concert in Bay City. I saw your children..."

Hutch jumped to the edge of his seat. Starsky looked at him and smiled a brilliant smile. "MY CHILDREN?" he exclaimed. "How many?"

"Two," he replied. "No wait, three! I forgot the baby..."

His friend ran a hand over his face, unsure what to make of this. "I'm going to have three children?"

"Yeah, at least. And the two older ones look just like ya," Starsky laughed. "Poor little things. I don't know about the baby, I only saw a glimpse of it as a newborn."

"You saw the future?" Hutch was incredulous.

"I saw visions. They were very quick, like watching a fast slideshow. I didn't understand it at the time. At first I thought they were images from my past, maybe people or places I forgot. But as I saw more, I realized what I was looking at. I couldn't really believe it, but I knew it was true." He grew thoughtful and distant.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Hutch asked.

The sad deep blue eyes looked back at him. "It's not all good news, Hutch." He looked down at his beer again. "I saw my own death."

Hutch choked on his beer. He slapped the bottle down on the coffee table and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his flannel shirt. "Jesus, Starsky!"

"Sorry."

When he was recovered from his shock, Hutch turned to his friend again. "When?"

"I don't know for sure. Not yet. But I do die young." Starsky answered carefully. "So far the visions have been in order. I saw you and me and two of your kids, so I guess I have some time yet..."

"Are you sure?" Hutch questioned.

Starsky nodded. "So far, all of the visions have happened, and happened in order. I didn't see everything that was to happen. I didn't see you leave for Europe. I didn't see me make Lieutenant. But everything I did see came to pass."

"Does Jul know?"

"No. And I don't want her to know."

"Starsk, what did you mean when you said the visions were a message?"

Starsky got up and sat on the couch next to his friend. He took a deep breath and let it out. Then he explained. "When I was shot, I thought that was it. I was dying. I did die, for a few minutes. But I wasn't supposed to die. It wasn't my time yet. The thing is, I didn't want to fight. I wanted to give up. The pain was bad, Hutch, and I knew I would never be the same again. I didn't want to fight for my life. I was tired. Then I saw you. I wasn't in pain anymore. I was with you. I could see your pain; I could hear you praying for me, singing to me, begging me to hang on. Then I saw these images... I saw how our lives were connected, how things were supposed to happen. I saw my death. I really wanted to give up then. I knew I could live through the shooting, go through all the blood, sweat and tears of recovery, and then live for a few more years and then die again. What was the point, right? But the images went on, and I saw things that happened after. I knew I had to fight. I knew I had to come back. If I didn't, it would break a chain of events. The images showed me that my life is connected to yours, and to Lee's, and to others. We are all connected. My surviving the shooting was a small part of a big picture. It made me want to come back. I wanted to fight. I had something to fight for. Not just for me, but for you, and for everyone else."

He continued, "Did you ever see that movie about a guy who wishes he had never been born, and an angel gives him the chance to see what his life would have been like if he hadn't?"

"It's A Wonderful Life," Hutch nodded.

"Yeah! It's A Wonderful Life!" Starsky smiled. "It's like that, Hutch. Your life impacts everyone else's. You take one man out of the picture, and the whole picture changes. Only I didn't get to see what my life would be like if I had never been born, I got to see what my life would be like if I lived. I got to see how my life touches yours, touches Lee's, touches the future. And it was wonderful. It was worth fighting for." His smile filled his eyes with happiness.

"What else did you see?"

Starsky grew quiet. "I don't want to tell you what's going to happen. A man's not supposed to know these things. I wish I didn't know these things. I told you I'm going to die soon because I needed to tell you. I needed to talk to you about it. I told you that you'd have kids, because I wanted to give you some good news, some hope. I don't want to tell you any more than that. Please don't ask me to."

"Okay, okay buddy." Hutch reached over and rubbed his friend's back. "You're not alone with this." His voice choked as he spoke.

Starsky looked at his friend's face and saw the anguish there. "Hutch? You okay?" Hutch buried his face in his hands. His shoulders were shaking and Starsky knew he was crying. "Aw hell, man. Don't get me goin' here."

Hutch dropped his hands and laughed through his tears. He looked at his partner with tearful eyes and shook his head. "Don't give me any crap here, Starsk. You can't go and tell me you're going to die in a few years and not expect a reaction out of me. Shit, you might as well have told me you have a terminal illness, for Chrissake!"

With tears in his own eyes, Starsky reached over and grabbed his friend by the back of the neck and pulled him close, pressing his forehead to his own. He lightly slapped his friend's cheek a few times, and the two partners silently shared a fear of events to come.


	7. Chapter 7

Hutch had suggested to Starsky that the two of them take a long trip together, see the world. Starsky smiled at the suggestion, but turned him down. He understood Hutch's intention, but he didn't feel the need to do anything like that. He was already doing what he wanted to be doing, surrounded by the people he loved, working at a job that was satisfying, content with how he had lived his life. Hutch watched his friend in admiration. He hoped that when his own time came that he would be at peace the way that Starsky was.

At Starsky's encouragement, Hutch continued to apply himself to his music. His friend was right, this pursuit gave him enormous joy and contentment. He continued to date Tammy, and had confided in Starsky that he was planning on marrying the gal. The two men had gone out shopping for rings together on numerous occasions, but had yet to find the one that would satisfy the groom to be.

After one such shopping excursion, Hutch suggested that he and Tammy meet Starsky and Juliana for drinks that Friday night. It was the first time Hutch had suggested bringing Juliana along since his concert in Bay City. This would also be an occasion for the women to finally meet. Starsky readily agreed, then went home to tell his wife the news.

Juliana was surprised. "He wants me there? Are you sure?" she was dubious. "Does Tammy know about me?"

Starsky shook his head. "I don't think so, Lee. But yeah, I'm sure he wants you there. He suggested it. He said it would be a good chance for Tammy to meet you."

Juliana was excited by the idea that Hutch wanted her there. It told her that he was finally letting go of her, and moving on with Tammy. She was dying to see her friend again, and hoped that as a couple they may be able to establish a new relationship as a foursome. David had raved about Tammy, and Juliana was admittedly curious about meeting her. She was also curious about the resemblance they shared.

Friday rolled around quickly, and Starsky and Juliana were the first to arrive at the bar. Soon they ran into several friends, including Georgina and Mark and a handful of people from the BCPD. Hutch came in alone, explaining that Tammy would be along shortly.

Juliana was chatting with Hutch when she felt Starsky come up and stand behind her, placing his hand on her shoulder with a gentle squeeze. He looked to Hutch and nodded toward the door. Juliana turned to see Tammy standing in the doorway, scanning the crowd. Hutch quickly strode up to her and enveloped her in a kiss before guiding her to the group of friends. His face lit up when he looked at her, and his smile was blinding. Every move he made in relation with her seemed gentle and loving, and his voice took on a velvet tone, seductive and possessive. Tammy responded in kind, and the two positively glowed from the love between them.

Juliana and Starsky exchanged glances, both thrilled to see their friend happy and in love.

The woman did look an awful lot like Juliana. Tammy was quite a bit taller than her, and her eyes were blue instead of brown, but they could easily pass for sisters. She greeted Starsky's wife with open and sincere eyes, and the two women seemed to take an instant liking to one another. As they chatted, they soon discovered that they had a great deal in common, from favorite colognes to movies to music.

Amused, the men left them to their girl talk and started up a competitive game of darts with the BCPD gang.

After a while, Tammy asked Juliana to join her in the ladies room. In the privacy of the facility, Tammy confided in her new friend. "Lee, I am crazy about Ken. The only thing is, sometimes I worry about his past, you know?"

"In what way?"

"Well, like the woman he wrote those songs for. He doesn't like to talk about her. I sometimes wonder if it's because he still has feelings for her." She leaned against the counter and spoke frankly. "It's just hard when I hear his music. He is so passionate about her. Do you know anything about her?"

Juliana felt her throat tighten. She felt guilty that her own ghost was haunting their relationship. "Tammy, I wouldn't worry about her. Ken is obviously crazy about you. I have never seen him so happy! That woman is no threat to you."

"What do you know about her, Lee? Ken won't discuss her. I wonder what she is like, what happened to her, what split them up. I guess I'm afraid she will come back one of these days and he'll go running back to her..."

"That's not going to happen Tammy," Juliana interrupted. "She's married now. She's not going to come between you. They aren't together because it was never meant to be. Just know that Ken loves you now, and it doesn't matter what happened before. You make him happier than she ever could!"

Tammy smiled and gave her a quick hug. "Thanks Lee, I appreciate that. It's nice to hear!" The two women left the bathroom and rejoined the group.

Soon they were pulled into a game of darts with the guys. Juliana proved to be quite skilled at darts, and helped her husband give Hutch and Tammy a run for their money, much to Starsky's delight. Hutch was a dart champion, and his partner loved seeing him work for his game. In the end, Juliana and Starsky won, and received a pitcher of beer for their efforts from the blond opponent. As he placed it on the table, he announced with a great smile, "Good darts, Juliana!"

Tammy froze. She had never heard Juliana referred to by her full name. In all discussions about her, and during the entire evening, everyone had called her Lee. Something in the way Hutch said the name touched a nerve with her. She turned around and faced him. "Juliana?"

Hutch felt her tension the moment the name had left his lips. He reached out to Tammy but she backed out of his reach.

"Juliana?" She asked again, this time with less surprise and more understanding. "It was never 'jewel' was it, Ken? It was Jul."

Hutch's empty outstretched arm sank to his side and his eyes became sad. "Tammy, I'm sorry. I should've..."

Tammy turned away from him, effectively cutting him off, and turned on Juliana with hurt in her voice. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked. "I can't believe I opened up to you. You listened to me pour out my insecurities to you, and never let on who you were."

She turned with tears in her eyes and fled to the ladies room. Juliana looked at Hutch. His eyes were worried and so sad. "I'll talk to her Ken," she promised, and went after her.

Hutch sank into a chair, joined by Starsky. "It'll be okay," Starsky nudged him.

Hutch shook his head. "I should have told her, Starsk. Now she is hurt, and she's embarrassed, and it's my fault."

"You did what you thought was best."

"No, I did what was easiest," he admitted. "I told myself it was better for her, but it wasn't. I should have leveled with her, should've told her about Jul. I just didn't want to upset her by telling her that Jul was still a part of my life. I didn't trust her to understand, I guess."

Starsky put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "The whole thing with Lee has been difficult from the beginning. It's a hard situation for anyone outside of it to understand, let alone someone so close to your heart. Just give her some time. She loves you."

He nodded a silent thanks to his partner.

In the ladies room, Juliana found Tammy in a stall crying quietly. "Tammy, please come out," she pleaded.

"Look Lee, you are the last person I want to talk to right now," she sniffed. "I suppose you had a good laugh at my expense over our last little chat in here."

"I'm sorry Tammy," she began. "I should have told you. I didn't mean to deceive you or hurt you. And nobody is laughing at you, especially not me. Please come out here and talk to me."

Reluctantly Tammy stepped out and joined her by the sink. She avoided looking Juliana directly in the eyes, but looked into the mirror that they both faced. Juliana slipped her a small pack of Kleenex from her purse. "My God, we even look alike," she stated sadly, her eyes filling with tears again.

Juliana swallowed hard. "Tammy, please. Ken loves you. There is nothing going on between us. I am no threat to you." Juliana gestured, fluttering a hand between them, "Yes, we look somewhat alike. Don't let that upset you. It just goes to show you what great taste in women he has." Tammy looked at her with exasperation. "Okay, I admit it looks bad," Juliana blurted, and they both laughed nervously. "But I honestly believe that Ken is above that. He may have been initially drawn to you because of our strong resemblance, but that wouldn't have been enough to keep him coming back. He's not that shallow, Tammy, you know that. Your looks may have been what caught his eye, but YOU are what caught his heart."

Tammy's eyes filled with tears again, but this time it was because the words made her feel better. Juliana continued. "What I told you before was the truth. I am not a threat, and you are not going to lose Ken to me. I am happily married to Dave."

"But he loved you," Tammy said softly. "Maybe he still does. I feel like I'm some kind of second choice. Every time we make love, I have to wonder if he's thinking about making love to you."

"Making love? Tammy, Ken and I were never lovers! You know that, don't you?"

Tammy's head shot up and she stared at Juliana, studying her eyes. "You and Ken weren't lovers?" she asked.

"Oh no!" Juliana grabbed Tammy's arm to emphasis the point. "The only thing Ken and I ever shared was one kiss! No more! Tammy, you are closer to Ken than I have ever been. We've never been more than friends."

Tammy laughed with relief. "Lee, the only thing I knew about you was from his songs..." She blotted her eyes with a tissue.

"I think it's still hard for Ken to talk about," Juliana responded. "It's not a pleasant memory for him. I'm sure he never would have kept all this from you if he had known how this was affecting you. And Tammy, Ken would never settle for a second choice. It wouldn't be enough for him. Eventually he would have walked away unsatisfied. If he's with you, it's because he cares for you; it has nothing to do with me. None of us meant to hurt you, and we certainly weren't laughing at you. I like you, Tammy, and I like seeing the two of you together. Dave is crazy about you too. We're both happy you found each other."

"Thank you, Lee." Tammy smiled a genuine smile.

The two women returned to the group after using Juliana's makeup to freshen up. The shared makeup only served to accentuate the resemblance, and they both found it amusing now. As they approached the table, Hutch stood up and quickly walked up to Tammy, again reaching out for her. This time she did not step away.

"Ken, I'm sorry," she murmured.

Hutch smiled. "You're sorry? Tammy, I'm the one who should be apologizing here. I should have told you about Lee. I guess I thought what you didn't know wouldn't hurt you, but I was wrong. It did hurt you, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too Ken," Tammy smiled. "I over reacted. Lee and I had a nice talk and I feel a lot better about things." She slipped her arms around him and he embraced her in a hug. He flashed Juliana a grateful smile and she smiled back and went off to talk to Starsky.

Later in the evening, Juliana wandered into the billiards room in search of her husband, but found the room empty. She was about to return to the dart boards when Hutch stepped up behind her. "I owe you a big thank you," he smiled. "What did you say to Tammy?"

"You don't owe me anything, Hutch," she smiled back. "I didn't say anything special. I just told her the truth. Did you know that she thought we were lovers?"

Hutch's smile faded. "No, I wasn't aware of that."

"Finding out that wasn't true probably did more for her peace of mind than everything else I said put together," Juliana mused. "And by the way, neither of us missed the strong resemblance between us."

"How did you smooth that over?" Hutch asked her.

"I told her you had good taste in women," Juliana winked at him. "I also told her that I didn't believe you were that shallow, that her looks may have caught your attention but it was her that kept you coming back."

"It's true, you know."

"I know, Hutch."

"Can I ask you something, Jul?" Hutch asked quietly.

"Sure, you can ask me anything."

"Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?" He looked at her and she could still see the love in his eyes.

Juliana felt her chest tighten. "Yes, Ken, I do. My grandmother once told me that if you really love somebody, you never stop loving them. Even if you move on, you still love them. Your heart just learns to love someone else in addition. She said that love doesn't divide, it multiplies, and your heart always has the ability to grow in love. I think that's true."

"Jul, do you think there could ever be a chance for us? If for some reason you and Starsky weren't together anymore, would you ever consider a relationship with me?" His eyes bore into hers with their intensity.

She took a quick intake of breath and held it as she considered her answer. "It's never going to happen, Ken," she said finally.

He looked down for a moment, then looked up at her again. He smiled sadly, and squeezed her hand. "I appreciate your honesty, Jul. I guess I knew your answer, but I needed to hear it from you."

Tears were stinging her eyes when he suddenly pulled her into a hug. He kissed her on the top of the head then walked out of the room. Juliana remained behind, tears finally coursing down her cheeks.

Starsky walked into the room slowly and quietly. "You okay, Lee?"

She looked up at him with her wet cheeks and gave him a weak smile. "I'm okay. I just had a little chat with Hutch."

"I know," he replied softly. "I heard part of it, then backed out of the room." He sat down next to her and put his arms around her. She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I think he just let go," she stated.

"Yeah, I think he did," her husband agreed. He squeezed her tightly.

"I love you David," she murmured happily into his chest, squeezing him back.

He pulled away a little so that he could look down at her face. He gave her his most winning smile. "Out of all the men who were after your heart, I'm so glad you picked me," he told her.

"Hey, you were the only one who asked," she reminded him. He laughed and kissed her passionately. "Lucky me!" he exclaimed as they walked out of the pool room.

 

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A few weeks after the meeting in the bar, Hutch and Tammy were engaged. Their relationship never did turn into the foursome that Juliana and Starsky had hoped for, and Juliana remained in the background. She felt it best after the question Hutch had posed her in the billiards room, and she wanted to give the couple space without her own ghost between them.

The wedding took place several months later, with Starsky serving as the best man. Juliana did not attend, finding an excuse to be out of town that weekend. The ceremony was kept secret, avoiding publicity. Hutch's music career had afforded him celebrity status, and the couple had found their wedding plans being publicized as quickly as they made them. Eventually they gave up and settled for a small private service with a handful of close friends and family.

The couple bought a house about 15 minutes from the Starsky's. Starsky had helped them move in, along with the help of Huggy, the Dobey's, Georgina and Mark.

Six months after the wedding, Hutch found out that Tammy was pregnant. He was ecstatic. He rushed over to Starsky's house to tell him, and found his friend out washing his car in the drive. Juliana was out with friends. "Hey Hutch!" his friend greeted him. "Grab a rag, you can help me wax this baby."

Hutch caught the rag that Starsky tossed him and tossed it right back at him. It caught Starsky right in the face, and he started to laugh. "I'm not helping you with your baby unless you promise to come help me change diapers with mine," he said with mischievous eyes.

Starsky's eyebrows shot up. "Baby?" he asked. Hutch nodded, smiling from ear to ear. Starsky let out a whoop and threw the towel up in the air. Grabbing Hutch in a big bear hug, Starsky congratulated his friend.

Hutch suddenly froze. He had been thinking that Starsky had been right when he said that he would have children, and it reminded him of the fact that his own children were a precursor to his friend's death. The two men locked eyes, and Starsky could read his friend's fear.

"Come On Hutch, don't do this," Starsky chided. "This is a happy time! I'm not going anywhere yet."

Hutch leaned against the car and stared at the ground. "How much longer do you have?" he inquired sadly.

Starsky sighed. "I don't know really. A few years, maybe more. There wasn't that much information to go on."

"How does it happen," His voice strangled on the question.

He gave a little chuckle, and replied, "Well, I don't go out in a blaze of glory, if that's what you're askin'. Just an ordinary accident."

Hutch turned to face his friend. "A car accident?" Starsky nodded. Hutch pondered the idea for a while. "Starsk, have you ever considered trying to change the future? Make it impossible for the vision to happen?"

"I don't want that, Hutch," Starsky shook his head. "I don't want to change the future. I'm not even so sure I could change it if I wanted to."

"Were you in your own car?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Sell the car," Hutch suggested hopefully. "Get rid of it!"

"No." Starsky fell silent and went back to waxing his Torino. He could feel Hutch's frustration and anger without looking. After a while, he stopped and looked up at him. "I don't want to change anything, Hutch. Please understand. This is bigger than just me. Besides, who's to say it wouldn't happen anyway? Only it would happen in a different car, or a piano would fall on my head, or I'd fall down an open manhole cover and break my neck. I'm just part of a plan, and I don't want to interfere."

Hutch stared off in the distance, contemplating his friend's wishes. "Okay buddy," he said softly. He looked down at his friend. "I'm trying to understand."

Starsky grinned up at him. "Let's talk about something happy, like that new baby of yours. You hopin' for a boy or a girl?"

"You can tell me that, can't you!" Hutch stated eyeing his partner.

"I'm not saying," Starsky laughed. "You'll have to find out like everybody else."

"Starsky!"

"Nope," Starsky was enjoying this. He knew this moment would come and he was going to have fun with it.

Hutch grabbed the towel that Starsky held and snapped it at his friend's backside. "You're going to tell me!" he laughed maliciously.

Starsky armed himself with another towel and started snapping back. The two chased each other around the driveway until Starsky ended it by offering his buddy a beer. "You don't really want me to tell you, do you?"

Hutch smiled. "No, I guess I really don't," he admitted. The tall blond threw his arm around his friend and they went into the house to get those beers. "You know, if it's a boy I'm going to name him after you."

Starsky stopped short. "No. Don't do that Hutch."

Puzzled, Hutch stopped and faced his partner. "Why not?"

"I don't want you naming anyone after me. At least, not while I'm still alive." He was serious, and unhappy.

"I don't get it Starsk, I thought you would love to see a little namesake running around..." Hutch argued.

Starsky sighed. "Well, yeah, that is nice," he admitted. "But what happens when I go, huh? You're gonna look at that sweet little face and get all depressed. He'd remind you of me." He saw Hutch's shoulders sink. "You know I'm right."

Hutch looked at him sadly. "I wanted to do this, Starsk. Don't take this away from me." Starsky cocked his head at him and waited. "All right. All right! You're right. I won't."

Starsky grinned. "Good. I'd hate to see a little carbon copy of _you_ walkin' around with my name."

Hutch smacked his friend on the back of the head. "Get me that beer buddy."

 

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Hutch's first child was a girl, Charlotte. She had enormous blue eyes, just like her father, and wisps of soft blond hair. She had a spunky personality, and loved people. She adored her Uncle Starsky, and toddled around after him like a shadow whenever he was there. She was the joy of her father's life, and she had him wrapped around her little finger.

Two years later Tammy was pregnant again. The pregnancy did not go as easily this time, and she struggled with her blood pressure. Two weeks before her due date, she was rushed to the emergency room at the hospital for a c-section. She delivered a perfectly beautiful blond son, Peter, with Hutch in the room to cut the cord.

Immediately after Peter's birth, Tammy's health began to falter. Her blood pressure did not come down, even after the delivery of the baby. They put her on blood pressure meds and an anti-seizure iv. Eventually they started to sedate her, in an attempt to bring the pressure down. She was moved to intensive care for constant monitoring. She complained of eye trouble; suffering from extreme light sensitivity, and began to notice a progressive tunnel vision. Within days she was nearly blind, and they feared her retinas may have detached. Hutch was getting frightened. When she tried to sit up, her vision would jump, and she started to notice unsteadiness in her hands. They directed her to lie on her left side and tried a stronger medication for her blood pressure.

Hutch called Starsky and asked him to come to the hospital. He was worried about Tammy, and wanted his friend there for support. Starsky agreed to come right over.

Starsky walked into intensive care, and found Hutch outside Tammy's room looking lost. "Hutch?" he spoke to his friend, but saw only a glazed look in his eyes. "Hutch, are you okay?"

"She's gone, Starsky," he mumbled. "She's gone."

"What are you saying, Hutch?" Starsky was alarmed. "Hutch? Talk to me!"

Hutch looked at Starsky and finally caught his eyes. He was in a daze. "She died, Starsk. Tammy's dead."

"Oh God," Starsky stammered. "Come here buddy." He directed Hutch to a chair in the waiting room just outside of her room. Once Hutch was seated, he knelt in front of him and grabbed his friend by the shoulders. "What happened, Hutch?"

Hutch stared at Starsky for a minute as if clearing his head. "Her blood pressure wouldn't come down. She went into a seizure. It killed her Starsky." He was in shock. He looked into Starsky's eyes, and his own filled with tears. "My God, Starsk. She's gone. She's dead. Tammy's dead." He started to cry and Starsky grabbed him and held him. Hutch's body racked with sobs, and Starsky cried with him. He had a grip on his shirt, and another in his hair, and held his friend and shared his grief.

As Hutch quieted, Starsky asked him about the baby. Hutch had been going back and forth visiting Tammy and Peter since his birth, and the baby was now in the nursery. "Take me to Peter, Hutch," Starsky commanded. On automatic pilot now, Hutch took his friend to the nursery. He showed Starsky his beautiful son, and the two men instructed the nurse to bring him to his father. As Hutch held his baby, Starsky spoke to the nurses in the unit. He explained the sudden death of the mother, and asked the status of the child. He was told that the baby was ready for discharge at any time. Starsky instructed the nurses to call Tammy's doctor and arrange whatever was necessary for them to take the baby and leave the hospital.

Starsky approached Hutch with his son. He stood back and watched him, amazed at the love and happiness he showed the boy, even in his grief-stricken state. He saw Starsky watching him and with a nod gestured for him to come over. When he was close, Hutch handed the baby to him. "Starsk, this is my son, Peter."

Starsky was fighting the tears back as he looked into this child's face. He was going to grow up without his mother, and know that she died giving birth to him. "Welcome to the world little one," he managed to choke out, as he started to cry again himself. Hutch came and retrieved the baby from his friend's hands, and sat down to give his son a bottle. That little baby was bringing him back to reality, appealing to his paternal instincts. Starsky struggled to regain his composure, just in time for the doctor's approach. He spoke to Starsky alone first, then to Hutch, explaining that he was free to leave the hospital with his son. The paperwork was rushed through and signed, and all of their belongings were gathered.

Starsky shepherded his friend and the child from the hospital and took him home. Then he went to retrieve his daughter Charlotte from her aunt's home. Starsky feared he was going to be the one to inform Tammy's sister of her death, but found that Hutch had called her from the hospital just before he had arrived.

Once Hutch was home with his two children, he was more like himself. Starsky called Juliana and told her the news, and explained that he was staying with him for a while. She offered to come over and help with the children, but Hutch refused. Tammy's sister was going to come and help out as much as she could, and both Starsky and Juliana figured it would be best if she stayed home. Her strong resemblance to Tammy would be hard for them to deal with.

When it came time for the funeral, Juliana decided to attend. She had a friend French-braid her hair, and she wore a pair of dark sunglasses. The look was definitely a change for her, and the similarities between her and Tammy were minimized.

Starsky and Juliana were afraid of Hutch's reaction to seeing her, but they both knew he would appreciate her show of support for her friend. He walked her into the funeral home, his arm tightly and protectively around her.

During all of the preparations for the services, and during the wake, Hutch had not shed a tear. He was perfectly composed and in control. Starsky had been keeping a close eye on him, knowing that eventually that control would have to break down.

Hutch saw Juliana from across the room, and immediately approached her. Starsky saw the look on his face, and released her from his grasp and stepped back just as Hutch reached her. Hutch pulled her into an embrace, and said, "Thank you for coming, Jul." and held her tight. It was then that the tears fell, and Juliana held him and murmured comforting words to him, trying to soothe his grief. He finally stood to his full height, and reached down to gently slide the glasses from her face. He slipped the glasses into his coat pocket and told her that she didn't have to change her looks on his behalf, or anyone else's. Then he took her hand in his right, and put his left arm around Starsky, and the two of them remained at his side for the rest of the ceremony.

Juliana left after the services, and Starsky took his friend home. They had a babysitter care for the children while they were gone, and she stayed after their return to help with their care for the rest of the evening. She left after the children were in bed. That night, the two partners found themselves alone with their mourning.

Starsky had gone to his room to change, and found his friend outside when he came back in his sweats. Hutch had changed earlier, and was now staring off at something Starsky couldn't see. He came up and stood next to his friend, offering support with his presence. The pair was silent for a long time.

Hutch finally spoke. "Did you know?" he asked very quietly.

Confused, Starsky asked, "Did I know what?" He sensed an anger from him.

Hutch clenched his teeth. He turned and faced him directly. "About Tammy! Did you know?!"

The realization hit Starsky. "Hutch, I..."

"Dammit Starsky! Answer me!! Did you know she was going to die?! YOU KNEW, didn't you!" His blue eyes were icy cold and penetrating. He took a menacing step toward his friend. Starsky backed up.

"Hutch, take it easy..." Starsky tried to calm him.

Hutch reached out and grabbed his shirt and pulled him close. His face was washed in fury. "Why the hell didn't you TELL ME!!" he blurted, releasing Starsky's shirt and hitting him square across the jaw with a fast right fist.

Starsky hit the ground hard from the unexpected blow.

As he was shaking off the effects of the punch, Hutch grabbed him and dragged him to his feet again. "How could you let me walk into this without warning?!" He swung Starsky up against the wall of his house. "Damn you! I trusted you!" Hutch released him then started to turn to walk away. Suddenly he turned back and slammed a right into Starsky's stomach, and then a left to his jaw. Starsky sank to the ground in a heap, the wind knocked from his lungs. Hutch stormed off into the darkness.

Starsky struggled to regain his breath, and tried to climb to his feet. He stumbled after his friend, and found him out by the garden, still consumed in rage. He held back a distance, and bent over with his hands on his knees for support as he still tried to recover from the punches. "Hutch... I didn't know..." he sputtered.

Hutch whirled around. "Don't give me that crap, Starsky! You knew! That's why you didn't want to tell me what was in your visions!"

"I swear, Hutch... I didn't know..." He was shaking his head.

Hutch advanced on Starsky, but Starsky didn't flinch. He tried to pull himself upright but ended up grabbing Hutch's arm for support as he tried. Hutch knocked his hand from his arm, and he staggered a few steps back on unsure footing.

Starsky pulled himself up and walked back to his friend. He stood and faced him, locking his eyes on Hutch. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the man curl his fingers into fists again, and braced himself for another attack. In his furor, Hutch allowed Starsky to lock his gaze, and he stared back with seething eyes. Starsky didn't send a silent communication to him, but instead opened himself up, allowed Hutch in.

Hutch found himself looking into his open eyes, his open heart, and felt the sincerity of his friend's gaze. The rage began to dissolve, and he felt the pain rush in in its place.

"I never saw this, Hutch," Starsky said softly. "I swear to you. I didn't know. I never saw this."

He crumbled and Starsky grabbed him and held him. Another wave of pain swept over them both but this time they fought it together and found strength in each other.

Starsky took him back into the house, Hutch leaning on him for support. The toll of the anger and the fight, coupled with his devastating grief, had left Hutch totally exhausted. Without the rage to fuel his energy, he was close to collapse. Starsky got him into his bed, then sank to the floor next to it, resting his back against the mattress. Hutch passed out as soon as he had hit the bed.

 

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Hutch awoke a few hours later. He started to get up, and would have stepped on his partner if the hall light hadn't been left on. Starsky was sprawled beside his bed, his sweatshirt balled up into a makeshift pillow. He knelt beside him and shook his shoulder, barely getting a reaction out of his tired companion. "Starsk, come on. Get on the bed." He got up clumsily and climbed between the sheets. Hutch threw a blanket over him, then left the room.

He wandered down to Charlotte's room and slipped inside. Charlotte was sound asleep, so he crept over to the glider in the corner and took a seat, propping his long legs on an ottoman. He watched and listened to her sleeping for a long while until he fell asleep himself.

Early in the morning Charlotte awoke and found her father asleep in her room. She quietly went up and tugged at his sleeve, but he did not awaken. She climbed up on his lap with her blanket in hand and curled up on his chest. She fell back to sleep in her father's lap, and was still there in the late morning when Starsky peeked into the room in search of his friend. He crept back out of the room and left them undisturbed.


	8. Chapter 8

It was Peter's fourth birthday that had caught Starsky's attention. After the presents had been opened and the cake had been served, Hutch asked him to pose for a picture with Peter and Charlotte. As the camera clicked off the shots, Starsky was overwhelmed with a sense of déjà vu. He recalled the moment from his visions in the hospital, and he realized that his time was nearing an end. He spoke to Hutch about it afterwards, and the two men set to work to be certain his affairs were in order.

Starsky found himself looking in a mirror and seeing the grey hairs that had snuck into his curls. He saw the little lines beside his eyes, and at the corners of his smile. He was amused that the age had crept up on him, that he didn't notice the man in the mirror was the man in his visions, that he now looked the way the visions predicted when he was killed in the car accident. He was not afraid of death now, and was almost relieved that it would soon come to pass. He was glad that everything was prepared.

It was six months after Peter's party that the semi truck came bearing down on the Torino. Starsky had been driving to work, driving through an intersection that he passed through every day. He looked out the driver's side window to see the truck's grill speeding directly toward him, the truck driver frantically trying to apply the brakes that had failed. The scene played out in slow motion for him. He looked up at the driver with compassion in his eyes, and felt the world turn upside down.

Hutch was driving to work at the same time. He heard the call come in over dispatch and rushed to the scene, struggling to see through the tears that filled his eyes. By the time he arrived, Starsky had been cut from the wreckage by the jaws of life, and was loaded into the ambulance. He pounded on the doors, yelling "Starsky I'm here!" but the vehicle pulled away without him. He knew from his conversations with his friend that he would be alive when he got to the hospital, so he rushed back to his car and sped off to find Juliana.

Juliana was at home when Hutch screeched into her driveway. She rushed to the front door, afraid of his wild arrival. Hutch ran to her and grabbed her by the arms. "Jul, there's been an accident. Come with me."

"David?" Juliana asked breathlessly. Hutch nodded. She grabbed her bag and ran out the door with her husband's best friend.

They rushed to the hospital, mars light flashing and siren wailing. Juliana was petrified, and didn't speak. Hutch reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder, casting a worried look in her direction. The terror in her expression tore at his heart. He couldn't even offer words of hope.

"How bad is it, Hutch?" she finally spoke, her voice choked with fright. She did not look at him. The fact that he had not offered any words of hope or optimism told her how grave her husband's condition was.

He paused before answering. "It's bad, Jul. The car was hit by a semi broadside."

Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Is he still alive?" It was barely above a whisper. Her hands were trembling.

"He was alive when I left him," he answered. His throat constricted.

They quickly arrived at the hospital, and Hutch wrapped Juliana in his arm and propelled her to the emergency room entrance. The doctor took them aside and spoke frankly of Starsky's injuries.

"I'm sorry," Dr. Branson said with compassion. "His injuries are quite extensive. I am prepping the surgery staff and room right now, but with the internal damage he has suffered, his chances of even making it to surgery are very poor."

"Can we talk to him?" Hutch asked.

"He is not conscious, but you may go say your goodbyes if you wish. He hasn't much time left," the doctor replied gently.

Juliana dropped her head and let the tears fall. She wept silently as Hutch pulled her into an embrace. "Jul, go talk to Starsky. I'll wait."

She shook her head. "No, Ken. We'll go together. If you wait you may not get a chance." She took his hand and they walked into his room together.

She gasped when she saw him. His face was ghostly pale. He was hooked up to machines to breathe, to medicate, to monitor. Hutch winced at the familiar equipment, recalling another time when he saw his partner in this condition, and recalling his wife's last moments of life. Juliana did not let go of Hutch's hand, directing him to walk up the left side of the bed while she walked up the right side, hands held over Starsky's battered body. They each took his hands, forming an unbroken ring with him.

Juliana spoke. "David. I love you. Hutch and I are here with you..." She gently spoke her goodbyes to her husband as a heartbroken Hutch listened. He then spoke his farewell, words he had practiced in his head for months now, flowing easily and openly. They were words that he had already told his friend, repeated now for closure, and for Juliana's benefit. The tears he shed were tears that Starsky had already seen, but they fell anew. The friends had said so many goodbyes in the past several years, that they did not really need the moment now, but found it to be a soft finale to a friendship well practiced. Starsky's face was bruised and pale, yet it had a peacefulness about it, and Hutch knew how well his partner was embracing this moment.

Juliana kissed his face, then lay her head upon his chest. Hutch bent over and kissed the dark curls on his partner's head, and held both of his two friends as one slowly slipped away.

 

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Hutch never left Juliana's side. His sister in law stayed at his home to care for his children, and he took his partner's wife home. They stayed up late that first night, talking and reminiscing about Starsky, drinking wine, toasting his memory. Seeing her exhaustion on her face, Hutch reached over and pulled her into his arms, and held her on the couch while she cried herself to sleep in his embrace. He rose from the couch, carrying her limp form, and took her to the bedroom. He gently laid her on the bed, slipped off her shoes, and turned to leave the room.

"Hutch?" she called softly.

"I'm here, Jul," he returned to the side of the bed and sat on its edge.

"Please don't leave me," she pleaded weakly.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her. "I'll be right back." He went down to his old room and found a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that he had left. He quickly changed and returned to Juliana's bed. He climbed onto the bed pulling her into his arms, and held her all night while she wept and slept.

He slipped out early in the morning to be at home when his children awoke. He spent some time with them and got them ready for school. Once Peter was dropped at preschool and Charlotte at elementary school, he returned to Juliana's house.

She was still asleep, exhausted by grief and the late night. Hutch slid back into the bed and once again wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his long frame. She did not awaken until late morning, the tears stinging her eyes before she had them fully opened. She cried out her husband's name, and Hutch grasped her tighter in his arms. Juliana turned into his chest, her heart-wrenching sobs soaking his t-shirt.

When she pulled away, her face was raw from the tears. She was still gasping a little for breath, and she choked out, "I'm sorry Ken," her voice hoarse from crying. As she looked at his face, she realized that he had been crying with her.

"Don't be sorry, Jul," he soothed. "That's what I'm here for." He took her hand and squeezed it tenderly.

"But you're hurting too, and I am not here for you," she shook her head, angry at herself but too full of grief to be able to offer any comfort.

"You are here for me, Jul. Who else could I cry with?" He offered her a small grin and she gave him a hug.

The funeral was rough on them both. When Juliana was offered the folded flag from his coffin, she accepted it graciously, then turned and offered it to Hutch. Shocked, he tried to protest, but Juliana said, "You were his partner, Ken. You protected this together. He would want you to have it." He accepted her selfless gesture and fought unsuccessfully to keep his tears at bay.

Hutch had brought his guitar, and during the service he sang some of the songs that he had sung for Starsky in the hospital. Amazing Grace, Like Cedars, Here I am. At the conclusion of the service, he sang a song he had written for Starsky called Me and Thee. By the time he was done, there wasn't a dry eye in the group. He had played the song for Starsky once, and his friend had smiled and clapped him on the back, telling him that he had heard the song before and knew Hutch had another hit song. Hutch had shook his head in denial, insisting the only time he would ever play that song in public would be at the funeral. Starsky had just laughed, and thanked him for the beautiful tribute.

They had all ended up at The Pits late that day, sharing their memories with Capt Dobey, Edith, Huggy and others. Hutch had snuck away in the evening to visit with his children and get them ready for bed, returning after they were asleep. He stayed at Juliana's side, watching over her and sheltering her in her grief. As the gathering broke up, he took her home. He noticed her hesitate before stepping into her home, and put an arm around her in understanding.

They were both completely spent from the emotional toll of the day, and Juliana went directly to change. She came back wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt of Starsky's, her hair loose and her makeup removed. She looked beautifully natural, in spite of her sad eyes. Hutch changed into his sweats as well, and the two sat on either side of the fireplace, too weary for pretense and very much at ease with one another.

She was staring into the fire, lost in thought, and Hutch studied her. He thought how hard it must have been on her to have no warning of Starsky's death. He had learned years ago not to question his friend's judgment on these matters, discovering in time that he not only had knowledge of events to come, but great insight into the impact of these events on others. He never discerned if this insight was due to what his visions had imparted, or just his own innate good judgment, but in either case he showed an uncanny intuition. He found himself speaking aloud his concern. "Jul, do you think his death would have been easier on you had you known in advance? Like with a terminal illness?"

Juliana continued to gaze into the fire. "I don't think anything would have made it easier, Hutch. I had pretty much resigned myself to the idea that he would die young. Not only because he was a cop, and had originally planned on going back to the streets, but also because of the damage done by the shooting. I knew the risk that he could go to work one morning and not ever come home. Even when he began teaching, there was always a risk that someone could come after him with an old score to settle. That's why we were always so verbally expressive of our love, never wanting to leave anything unsaid. I never thought I would get the chance to say goodbye to him like I did, and I am grateful for that opportunity, but I'm not so sure I would have handled knowing he was going to die. I would have been grieving while he was alive, and I know he would have hated that."

Hutch felt some of his own guilt lift, glad that he had respected his partner's wishes in the matter. He watched Juliana's profile in the firelight, and saw her eyes fighting off sleep. "Why don't you go ahead to bed, Jul? I know you're tired."

She started to get up, then sat back down. She was trembling and looked on the verge of crying again. Hutch could see her reluctance to go into her bedroom, the bedroom she had shared with Starsky. He walked over to her and took her hand. Together they went to the bedroom and climbed beneath the covers, Hutch pulling her close and holding her as he had the previous night. Her trembling eased, and she found comfort in his gentle arms.

Over the next couple weeks, Hutch spent less and less time at Juliana's, but always came over after his children were asleep and spent the night holding his friend and offering his solace and support. Their relationship had never been sexual, but two souls bonded by a deep friendship and a shared loss, pulling each other through with their combined strength and warmth. He never questioned her need to be held, just understood, and willingly offered his comfort without being asked. He hadn't realized he needed it as much as she did, until she finally let it go.

"Hutch, I've really appreciated you being here for me through all of this. I can't tell you how much it has meant to me to have your understanding and to be able to share my grief with you. You've helped me get stronger, and I feel I'm ready to start picking up the pieces and get on with my life. I'm going to need to be on my own now. I can't be depending on you to get me through every day, and every night." She squeezed his hand, looking into his gaze directly with sincere and candid eyes.

He gave her a tender smile. "You kicking me out of your bed, Jul?" he teased.

"My home, my heart, my arms and my bed are always welcome to you Ken, any time you need me, you know that. I need some time alone to re-adjust, regroup. If you need me, I'll be here, and I hope if I need you that I can call on you too."

"Anytime, Jul. I'll always be here for you. You're still my partner. I'll call on you to see how you are doing, okay?"

"Okay, partner," she smiled. He kissed her on the top of her head, and left her alone as she asked.

Driving back to his home, he was glad for her renewed independence, but ached at the loss of their time together. He had grown to depend on it, perhaps more than she had.

 

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Two months later, Hutch's song about Starsky hit the airwaves. No one was more surprised than Hutch himself. He heard it on the radio, returning home from work. The recording was poor, obviously recorded right from Starsky's funeral, and it tore at his heart just to hear it played.

Infuriated, he contacted the disc jockey to find out where the recording had come from. The deejay had no information about the source of the song, explaining that it was left for him to play by his boss.

He called his agent and his lawyer, and the song was instantly squelched. He called his sister in law and asked her to stay with the children. Then Hutch sought out Juliana, afraid that hearing the song would hurt her as well. He tried every place he could think of to search her out, and contacted all of the friends he knew, but could not locate her. Frustrated, angry and despondent, he wound up at Huggy's drinking to drown his raw pain. Without food in his stomach, the alcohol hit him hard, and he found himself extremely drunk and still very upset. Huggy had planned on seeing his friend home, but Hutch had snuck out when he was occupied in the back. Fortunately he had the foresight to call a cab before venturing out in his condition.

The cab pulled up in front of Juliana's home, completely dark. Hutch weaved his way to the front door, pulled out the key that he still carried and let himself in.

Juliana had been home all day. She had heard the song on the radio, and immediately her phone began to ring. Friends, family and reporters started ringing her non-stop, and Juliana unplugged the phone in an attempt to hide from the attack on her grief. She had been unaware of Hutch's attempts to find her. She only responded to her need to hide and withdraw. She had gone to bed early, sound asleep by the time Hutch staggered across her threshold.

He entered her bedroom, and proceeded to strip naked before sliding beneath her sheets. He reached for her sleeping form, and strongly dragged her tightly spooned against his body. The move woke her up with a start, initially shocked and frightened but quickly aware of the smell of Hutch's cologne, and the scent of liquor. She didn't utter a sound, didn't move or resist, just lay completely wrapped securely in his arms. She was painfully aware of her own naked body pressed full length against his own, and she held her breath wondering what his next move was to be, her heart pounding in her ears.

Soon his breathing became regular, and she realized he had fallen asleep. He still held her tightly, clinging to her, and her heart went out to him. She realized that he must have been devastated to hear his song on the radio, and she had been inaccessible to him. He had no one to talk to that would understand how much it had pained him. She relaxed in his grasp and joined him in sleep.

In the morning, she awoke in the bed alone. She sat up and called for Hutch but he did not answer. On the bed beside her where Hutch had lain, was her own house key, deliberately abandoned by the man who had used it. Juliana got dressed and retrieved the key, bringing it with her to her desk. There she taped the key to an index card and slipped it into an envelope without explanation. She addressed the envelope to Hutch, and left to mail the letter.

The next day Hutch received the key in the mail, and smiled. He had felt embarrassed by his actions of that night, and left the key apologetically, a silent promise that the move would not be repeated. He had not expected its return. He picked up the phone and called Juliana.

"Jul, it's Hutch," he began. "I wanted to apologize and to thank you..."

She interrupted him. "Hutch, don't. I told you that you are welcome here and I meant it. I'm glad you came to me. I'm always here for you."

"When you said that to me, you didn't know that I would show up with a key, drunk, unannounced and naked," he mused.

She smiled. "I know now, and the offer still stands," she replied tenderly. "What are partners for?"

 

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Juliana had been getting her life back together, and had been doing pretty well, until her anniversary crept up on her. It was the anniversary of when she and David had met. Hutch had been careful to be sure that she wasn't alone on special days, such as birthdays or anniversaries or holidays, but Hutch didn't know this date. He had been in Minnesota when they met. Juliana was alone, and hadn't expected the onslaught of grief that hit her with the memories. She felt nervous and restless in her house, and suddenly couldn't face the home full of scattered fragments of their life together. Everywhere she looked was a photo, a souvenir, a reminder. At once unable to handle her tattered emotions any longer, she fled her home in despair.

Hutch had been out to dinner with a woman he had known for years. Barb was a stewardess, and spent a great deal of time away, but often they got together when she was in town. The relationship was not serious, and afforded them each with a pleasurable distraction when they hooked up. Neither wanted any strings attached, just to enjoy each other's company, where ever that took them at the moment. His children were spending the weekend with their grandparents, so they would have the empty house to themselves. When Juliana called Hutch's home, he was out with Barb, unaware of his friend's unhappiness.

Juliana tried to call Hutch several times, with no answer. Eventually she found herself at his home, the empty house looking more inviting than her own. After getting no response to her knocks, she wandered to his back door, aware that he kept a key tucked into the light fixture by the door. She let herself in, and wandered through the home. Since the babysitter was not present, she thought he had gone away for the weekend with the children, and found relief that she could spend time here away from her home full of ghosts and memories.

She looked into his fridge and found a bottle of white wine there, and she decided to open it, expecting to replace it before his return. The German wine was sweet and delicious, and she poured herself a large glass.

His home was cold, and she walked into his bedroom to look for a long sleeve shirt or a sweater to borrow. She slid the closet door open, and laid eyes on a familiar garment. Hanging in Hutch's closet was her husband's cardigan sweater.

Her eyes filled with tears, and she slid the sweater from its hanger. She held it to her face, breathing in his scent, feeling his essence in the cloth, feeling his absence in her life. She burst into tears, hugging the sweater to her heart.

The sweater was a final blow to her composure, and she spent the evening drinking the wine and wallowing in her sorrow. Soon the bottle had been emptied, and she was quite drunk. She had wrapped the sweater around herself, but still felt empty and cold. Finally she took off her clothes and wrapped the sweater around her naked flesh, feeling the wool against her skin, feeling her husband's memory wrapped around her. She lay on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

Hutch and Barb made their way to his home, expecting to enjoy the remainder of the night in romantic pursuits, when he noticed in alarm that the lights in his home were turned on. He instructed Barb to wait by the front door, pulled out his gun, and proceeded to check out his home. He saw little out of place but noticed the corkscrew and a cork were left on the kitchen counter. Heading up the stairs to the bedroom, he could hear a radio playing softly in his bedroom. The door had been partially closed, so he used the gun to push it further open. In surprise he took in the unusual scene in his bedroom. Juliana was sprawled face down across his bed, apparently wearing nothing but Starsky's sweater like a robe. There was an empty wine bottle and glass on his nightstand, and her clothes were left in a heap on the floor. Her face was tearstained and filled with anguish, and she held the photograph of her husband that was normally tucked into the frame of his dresser mirror.

Hutch switched off the radio, and pulled the bedroom door closed before quickly returning to Barb. "I'm sorry Barb; I'm going to have to end our date."

"Is everything okay, Ken?" she asked in a worried voice.

He sighed. "Yes, everything is okay, I just have an unexpected visitor," he tried to explain. "It has to do with Starsky and a friend that's having a hard time dealing with his death..."

Barb's face showed her understanding. She had known Starsky and was upset by his death as well. "Oh, that's okay Ken. I'll take a cab home. You take care of your friend. Give me a call and we'll try this again another night." She immediately went to his phone and called a cab.

He kissed her passionately and walked her out to await her taxi. After her departure, he returned to the wayward friend in his bed.

He opened the bedroom door again and took in the view with sympathy. He knew something big must have happened for her to come here and end up in this state. He gathered up her clothes and folded them, laying them on top of the dresser. Then he sat next to her and stroked her face, pushing her stray curls from her eyes. She murmured something and he spoke gently to her. "Jul? Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes, but the alcohol was still in full effect. "Husch? 'M sorry. Thought you were gone..."

"It's okay, Jul. Did something happen?"

"Hey, it's my anversry," she started to roll to her side, stretching like a cat, the sweater falling open and exposing her nakedness.

Hutch groaned to himself and gently pulled the sweater to cover her more completely. "Your anniversary? Jul, this isn't your anniversary."

"Mmm hmm. We met today," she mumbled.

Enlightened by her words, Hutch stroked her hair. "I'm sorry, partner. I didn't know." She grew quiet again, and he realized she had fallen back to a restless sleep. He got up and undressed. Turning off the lights, he climbed naked into bed and pulled her close. He carefully wrapped the sweater snugly around her thin form and cinched the belt to keep it in place. Then he wrapped his arms around her and held her spooned into his body. Kissing her hair he spoke soothing words to her, and he felt her relax and melt into him. This temptation was going to sorely test his friendship to this woman, but he knew he would not make a move on her. She trusted him and he wasn't going to hurt that trust. Unable to sleep, he stroked her hair or her face and whispered to her, fighting off the desire that wrestled within, and tried to offer her the comfort she had sought in him. Finally sleep overtook him, and he drifted off into a peaceful night.

In the morning she awoke with a groan, her head pounding from the quantity of wine she had downed the night before. Hutch woke and gently rubbed her back in sympathy. "Can I get you some aspirin, partner?" he inquired softly.

"Please," she whispered. He grinned and climbed out of bed to retrieve the needed drug. Juliana watched his athletic naked body cross the room without inhibition and she silently caught her breath. He returned wearing a pair of sweatpants, the aspirin and a glass of water in his hands. She looked up at him, her cheeks red with flush. "You've been working out," she commented.

Hutch laughed. "Yes, thank you for noticing!" He could see her embarrassment, and decided to refrain from causing her further distress. "Here, take these." He handed her the pills.

Dutifully she took the offered aspirin. As she sat up, she noticed the sweater had been belted about her waist. "Did you tie this belt?" she asked shyly.

He grinned. "Yes I did. Open was just a little too much temptation for me last night. I didn't think you'd mind."

Her blush deepened again. "I'm sorry Ken. I don't remember much of what happened after I found the sweater."

"Don't be sorry. I am not one to complain when I come home to find a beautiful naked woman in my bed," he couldn't help tease. "Jul, it's okay. I came in, found you passed out, wrapped you up and tucked you in. That's all. It's nothing you haven't done for me." He picked up the spare house key from the nightstand and pressed it into her hand. "In fact, keep this. If you leave it here I'll just have to mail it to you."

She smiled at the gesture and closed her hand around the key. Her eyes sparkled again, and his heart warmed at the sight.

"Come on," he held out his hand. "I'll take you down and fix you breakfast." He took her hand and led her to the kitchen. She took a seat and watched with pleasure as he cooked a Denver omelet for her. As they ate, he encouraged her to talk about what brought her to his place to begin with. She felt better talking to somebody who understood, and most of the ache from the previous day had been soothed away. They spent the day together, both finding it difficult to part that evening.

 

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The lawyers and private investigators eventually found the culprit responsible for the recording of Hutch's song from the funeral. Law suits were filed, and charges were pressed. The man had set up recording equipment in the bushes near the burial site after rumor had surfaced that he would sing at the service. Security had been tight, but the man had a friend in the cemetery staff, and was able to circumvent their precautions.

Even though the song had been silenced quickly, the impact of it had widespread effects. The fans went crazy for the song, calling and begging the radio stations to play it again. Hutch's albums were flying off the shelves once again, and the talk shows were frantically trying to get him to interview. Anita tried numerous times to talk him into recording the song and releasing it on another album, but Hutch refused.

Juliana ran into Anita one day in line at the grocery store. The agent spoke of her vain attempt to get through to Hutch about the song, and asked if Juliana would try to sway his opinion. She declined to do so, but later wondered about the song. She decided to meet with him and speak to him about it.

"Hutch, I have something to ask you," she tentatively began. "It's about _Me and Thee._ "

Hutch replied, "Ask me anything Jul."

"Why haven't you recorded that song?"

His expression saddened. "It's such a personal song, Jul. It was only meant for us to hear. I never meant for anyone else to hear it."

"Don't you think Starsky would want it heard?"

The comment hit home. He recalled Starsky telling him the song would be a hit, and that he had told him he would never record it. Starsky had laughed at him.

"You want me to record it?" Hutch asked.

She hesitated before answering. "I don't want to talk you into something you don't want to do. I want you to do this only if you have no reservations about it."

"Jul, that song stirs up an awful lot of painful emotions for us both."

"It's a lovely tribute, Ken. I can handle the pain that comes with remembering my husband. It hurts because I so desperately miss all the wonderful things you sing about in your song. The song is beautiful, and that he would have been proud if you shared it with your public. I would be proud to have people know him through your song."

Hutch stared at Juliana. He had never expected her to want the song to go public. He reached out and folded her small hand in his. "I'll record the song, Juliana."

"How do _you_ feel about it Hutch?" she inquired with concern. He looked at her with those soulful eyes.

"I'm touched that you want people know him through my song."

 

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Hutch's new album, featuring the hit song _Me and Thee_ , soared to the top of the charts. He was whisked off on another tour, keeping him from Bay City for several months.

Upon his return, he called up Jul and asked if they could go out on the town and celebrate his recent successes. She happily accepted.

They went out to dinner and dancing, completely enjoying each other's company. He told her about his tour, and the response he got to the song, and she caught him up on the events he had missed with his friends.

The evening sped by and soon found the pair at Juliana's door. Hutch scooped her up in his arms and hugged her happily. He told her how much he had missed her and how wonderful it was to see her again. She laughed at the hug that had lifted her feet off the ground, and jokingly insisted he put her back down. He obligingly let her slide down his body until her feet were once again earthed, and she looked up at him with a quiet fire in her eyes that he had never witnessed in them before.

He pulled her tightly into an embrace, and leaned in close to kiss her. He paused just before his lips touched hers, his breath labored, his voice hoarsely whispered, "My God, Jul, I love you."

Juliana went rigid in his arms and pushed herself back from him, cutting off his kiss. She was breathing in pants, her eyes still alit with fire. "I'm sorry, Ken. I can't..." She backed up until she bumped into her door, and quickly turned to open it.

"Jul, please wait," he pleaded. She disappeared into the door.

He tried to call her when he got home, but she didn't answer the phone. He tried on and off for weeks to get ahold of her, but she never answered the phone or returned his calls. In desperation, he called Georgina and explained the event of the night to her, hoping she could intercede on his behalf.

Georgina listened to him describe the moment on her doorstep, and grew thoughtful. "How long has it been since Starsky's death?" she asked him.

"Just over a year," Hutch replied. "Why?"

"I think she's got feelings for you, Hutch, but she's still mourning Starsky."

Hutch shook his head. She doesn't feel that way about me Georgina. She never has. I was a fool to try to kiss her again, but I got carried away. If I could only talk to her for a moment, I think I could get back in her good graces..."

"I'll talk to her, Hutch. But I'm telling you, I believe in my gut that this girl has a soft spot for you and always has. I feel it. Let me see if I can get her to call you."

"Thanks Georgina," Hutch was relieved. He didn't believe her opinion about Juliana's feelings, but he hoped she would succeed in breaking the silence between them.

Georgina couldn't get through to Juliana either. She never answered the phone, and didn't return calls. None of their mutual friends had any contact with her. She had cut herself off from them.

"Give her some more time, Hutch," Georgina suggested. "I think she needs to work something out."

Weeks turned into months, months turned into years. Hutch didn't hear from Juliana again.


	9. Chapter 9

"Peter, come help me with this, will ya?" Charlotte asked. The 19 year old girl handed a box down through the attic door.

Her brother reached up and took the box down for her. "Whatcha got there, Bug?" he asked.

She climbed down the ladder and stood next to her tall sibling. "It's old pics of Mom and Dad."

"There's pics of Mom in there?" She had his attention now. "Let's see!"

The two carried the boxes Charlotte had retrieved from the attic storage and carried them into her old bedroom. There were three boxes in total. They lined them up on her desk and she proceeded to open one up. "Here ya go!" She handed him a snapshot of their parents at the beach.

"Sheesh, look how young Dad looks," Peter mused.

"Come on, Grasshopper; Dad's still young," Charlotte corrected. She took the picture back and gave it a closer examination. "Wow, you sure look like Dad now that you cut your hair."

Peter had grown his hair long in high school, and sported a goatee. It was a look he fashioned while playing guitar with his friends in a band. His sister laughingly called it his "Jesus look". For graduation he had decided to surprise his father by shaving and cutting his hair. He smiled looking at the picture over her shoulder. With his clean cut look he did bear a strong resemblance to his father. "Any pictures of Dad when he was my age?"

"Not yet, but I've just started." Charlotte pulled out another picture. "Oh look! Uncle Starsky!"

Peter took a look at the photo. "I don't remember him."

"Aw, he was a great guy," Charlotte recalled. "He used to keep candy in his shirt pocket for me. We used to keep it secret from Dad."

"Who's the woman with them?" Peter asked.

"Isn't it Mom?" Charlotte suggested offhand.

"No, look." Peter handed the picture back so she could take a closer look. "She's got brown eyes. And her nose is a little different."

"You're right," Charlotte agreed, studying the snapshot. "I didn't look at it that closely before. She looks a lot like Mom, but it's not her. I don't know who that is. I'll ask Dad later. It's probably an aunt or something."

"Ask me what?" Hutch stood in the doorway smiling at his two children.

"Who's this woman in the picture Daddy?" Charlotte asked him.

He stepped into her old room and took the photo she offered. Hutch sat down on the edge of her bed, lost in thought over the memory. "That's Uncle Starsky's wife," he explained.

"Uncle Starsky wasn't married!" Charlotte laughed. She had wanted to marry him herself when she grew up. He had always told her he would be honored.

"Yes, he was," Hutch said quietly, still staring at the picture.

"Dad, how come I never saw her before?" she argued.

Hutch sighed. "She didn't come around here with Starsky, honey."

"Why not, Dad?" Peter inquired.

"It's a long story, kids," he said evasively.

Charlotte plopped down on the bed next to her father. "So tell me a long story Daddy," she grinned.

Hutch looked at her and smiled. She was extremely persistent. Quite stubborn, actually. He knew she would not let go of the subject until he answered her questions. He took a deep breath. "She didn't come around here, Bug, because she knew I was in love with her."

"What?!" Peter stepped up and took the photo back, studying the woman further.

"You were in love with Uncle Starsky's wife?" Charlotte was shocked.

Hutch nodded. "I met her before I met your mother. She was dating Starsky at the time. I fell for her, head over heels."

"What did Uncle Starsky have to say about that?" Peter wondered.

Hutch smiled. "He was pretty understanding, really. But it was because of my attraction to her that she didn't come around with him."

"I don't understand," Charlotte said. "If this was before you met Mom, how come she didn't come around after you got married?"

"Because I was still in love with her," Hutch said quietly.

Charlotte and Peter exchanged looks. "You didn't love Mom?" Peter blurted.

"Of course I loved your mother!" Hutch exclaimed. "But I never fell out of love with Juliana either. It's possible to love two people at the same time. If you really love somebody, you never stop loving them. Even if you move on, you still love them. Your heart just learns to love someone else in addition. Love doesn't divide, it multiplies, and your heart always has the ability to grow in love."

"Did Mom know you were in love with her?" Peter asked.

"Your mother knew how I had loved Jul, but I don't think she knew I never stopped loving her."

"Oh my God!" Charlotte cried. "The jewel from the song!"

"From _Devastated_?" Peter looked to his father. Hutch nodded.

"I wrote several songs about her," Hutch confessed. " _Beloved_ , _Effective_..."

Charlotte asked her father, "Whatever happened to her, Dad?"

"I lost touch with her after Starsky died. I have heard that she is still in Bay City, but I haven't seen or spoken to her in many years."

Peter looked at the photo again. "How come you never hooked up with her after Mom and Starsky were gone?"

"She never felt the same way about me," he admitted. "I was her friend, nothing more. She could never see me any other way."

Charlotte turned her big blues eyes to her father. "Are you still in love with her Daddy?"

His smile was sad. "Yes, honey. I'm still in love with her."

"Why don't you look her up?" Peter suggested.

"Yeah! Look her up!" Charlotte was excited.

"Noooooo," Hutch stood up and headed for the door. "She's probably remarried by now. Besides, she didn't share my feelings. There's no point stirring that all up again." He tousled his son's hair and headed out the door.

"I hate when he does that," Peter smoothed his hair back down.

"He couldn't do that before," she grinned. "Your hair was too long."

Juliana took the picture back and stared at the woman. "I can't believe he won't call her."

"If she doesn't feel the same way..."

"Peter, that was a long time ago. Maybe she feels differently now."

"Charlie, don't go getting any ideas."

"It wouldn't hurt to talk to her..."

"Charlie! You heard Dad. Don't get involved!" He shook his head. He knew his sister. She was not going to let this go.

 

******************************************************************

 

Juliana heard the doorbell and went to answer the door. As she opened it, she found a pretty young blond girl standing on her doorstep. The girl smiled, and Juliana gasped.

"Hello. Are you Mrs. Starsky?" The girl inquired.

"Please come in," Juliana offered, opening the door to the young woman.

Charlotte nervously stepped into her home and turned to introduce herself. "Mrs. Starsky, my name is..."

"You're his daughter, aren't you," Juliana inquired breathlessly.

"Excuse me?"

"Ken Hutchinson. You're his daughter, aren't you? Charlotte?"

"How did you know that?" Charlotte gasped. She had never met this woman.

Juliana smiled and laid a gentle hand on the side of Charlotte's face. "My dear, you are the spitting image of your father. The same eyes, and that smile! I would recognize that smile anywhere!"

Charlotte returned her smile. "Yes, I am Charlotte Hutchinson. I came to talk to you about my father."

Fear flashed across Juliana's eyes. "Is he okay? Is anything wrong?"

"Oh no!" Charlotte assured her. "I just wanted to speak with you about him, if that's okay with you."

"Please sit down," Juliana directed her to the sofa. "Would you like some lemonade?"

"Yes, please, if it's not too much trouble."

Juliana went to get the lemonade. Charlotte tried to shake the jitters before her return. She was not sure how this woman would react to her suggestion.

She returned carrying two glasses, and handed one to her guest. Charlotte took a sip and waited for her host to take a seat. Juliana sat in the chair beside the couch and stated, "So what brings you here today, Charlotte?"

Charlotte took a deep breath, then began her story. She told Juliana about going through old photographs, and finding the one of her. She told her about the conversation with her father, trying to remember all of the details. When she spoke of her father's explanation of how you can love two people at once, Juliana's eyes misted over. "Did I say something wrong, Mrs. Starsky?"

"Please call me Lee, Charlotte. No, nothing is wrong. It's those words Hutch spoke to you about how when you really love someone you never stop loving them. He was quoting me."

Charlotte smiled. She was getting a good feeling about this woman, and she felt an instant rapport with her. She continued her story, ending with her father's words about how Juliana did not share his feelings. Then she took her gamble. "Lee, I was wondering if you would consider giving my father a chance. I wanted to ask you if you would go on a blind date with my father. One dinner. And all I ask that you look at him not as a buddy, but as a possible romantic interest." She held her breath.

Stunned, Juliana sat back in her chair. "Charlotte, does your father know that you are here?"

"Oh no!" Charlotte exclaimed. "He would be furious with me if he knew. This was my idea, and my idea alone. Please don't be upset with my father."

"I'm not upset with you or your father, Charlotte. I'm rather shocked right now, but not upset." She contemplated the girl's request. "Tell me, what made you come here today, against your father's wishes?"

"I love my father very much, and I want to see him happy," she answered simply.

"And what do you hope to see happen?" Juliana asked.

"I'm hoping you will let me set you up on a blind date with my father. I'm hoping you will give him a real chance, and go into this open minded. I know he loves you. I'm just asking that you try not to look at him as your buddy and look at him for the wonderful man he really is. He's a sweet and generous man, kind and loving, and he's a great father..."

Juliana interrupted Charlotte with a laugh. "Charlotte, you don't have to sell me on what a great guy your father is. I have loved him for over twenty years!"

The younger woman shook her head. "Lee, I know you have loved him like a brother, but I am asking you to please consider him in a new light..."

"No Charlotte, you don't understand." Juliana laid a hand on the girl's arm. "I haven't just loved your father for twenty years. I've been IN LOVE with your father for twenty years." She paused, waiting for the information to sink in.

Charlotte's jaw dropped. "Wait, are you saying that you DO share my father's feelings?"

Juliana nodded, tears filling her eyes. She smiled. "I have never told anyone how I truly felt about him, until now." The tears fell down her cheeks. "I fell in love with him the moment I met him. I loved your father, and I loved David. I loved them both equally."

"But I don't understand!" Charlotte stammered. "Dad said that you were only friends, that you couldn't look at him any other way."

"I had to choose between them," Juliana replied. "I knew David better, I knew him longer, and I loved him dearly. I made my choice. I couldn't let on to Hutch that I loved him too. It wouldn't have been fair to him, or to David. Truthfully Charlotte, if your father sent me a telegram right now, instructing me to meet him in Vegas because he wanted to marry me, sight unseen for all these years, I would be on the next flight out."

Charlotte was ecstatic. She and Juliana made their plans, and a blind date was arranged to bring the pair together.

 

******************************************************************

 

Charlotte bounded into her father's house and sat at the breakfast bar. Hutch was putting away groceries, and smiled at his daughter.

"Hey Bug, what brings you here? Your landlord fumigating again?"

She grinned at her father. "Just a visit. I have a favor to ask, Dad."

"How much?" he frowned at her.

"No, I don't need a loan," she giggled. "Whatcha doin' Friday night?"

"No plans. Why?"

"Because I just set you up on a blind date." She gave a mock duck when he cringed at the words.

"Charlie, you didn't."

"Yes I did. She's really nice, and I know you'll like her."

"How could you do this, Charlie?" Hutch looked at her exasperated. "Who is this woman?"

"It's my roommate's aunt, Daddy, and she is very pretty and very nice."

"You call her up and cancel, young lady. I am not going out with this woman."

Charlotte got defensive. "I'm not going to call her up and cancel. She is a very nice woman, very pretty, and very smart. There is no reason why you can't go out with her. If you want to cancel, you call her." Charlotte passed the phone to her father.

"I don't even know the woman!" Hutch exclaimed. "Look Charlotte, you need to stop meddling. I don't need to be set up on a blind date."

"So you already have a date for Friday?" Charlotte challenged.

"No, but that's not the point..."

"When was the last time you went out on a date?"

Hutch stopped, lost in thought for a moment. It had been a long time. "It doesn't matter! Charlie..."

"And you object to going out with this woman why?"

Hutch held up his index finger. "Stop," he demanded. "You will not let go of this, will you?"

Charlotte stood defiantly, her arms crossed before her. She shook her head.

"On one condition."

A smile broke out across her face. "What's the condition?"

"You NEVER do this again. No more blind dates."

"Thanks Daddy!" Charlotte ran around the breakfast bar and planted a big kiss on her father's cheek. "Her name is Linda Rosenthal."

"WAIT!" He commanded. "Promise me you will never do this again!!"

"I promise!" she laughed, and pranced out his front door.

 

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Hutch sat at the table in the restaurant that Charlotte had arranged. The mysterious Linda Rosenthal had not yet arrived. He ordered a drink from the waiter and sat nursing it. He hated blind dates.

The maitre d' stepped up to Hutch's table and informed him that his date, a Miss Linda Rosenthal, would be unable to attend and sends her regrets, but had arranged for a friend of hers to step in as a substitute companion for dinner. He said that he would accompany the woman to his table right away.

The maitre d' returned, followed by a woman that Hutch couldn't see. As the man stepped aside, Hutch found himself looking at Juliana.

"Hello Hutch!" she smiled.

He was on his feet in a flash. "Jul!" He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her on the cheek.

"Oh Hutch! You haven't seen me in years! Don't you even have a real kiss for your old partner?"

Hutch rubbed his cheek. "I don't know Jul, the last time..."

She blushed. "I'm sorry, Hutch. I was wrong to slap you. Please, don't I rate a real kiss?"

His eyes lit up as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He kissed her long and slow and passionately, forgetting the restaurant, forgetting all else but her and this kiss.

As he released her, he apologized. "I'm sorry, Jul. I still have little control when it comes to kissing you." His smile showed that he wasn't really that sorry.

She sank into the chair, feeling a little shaky on her feet. "Don't apologize Hutch, I asked you to."

"What are you doing here?" he asked, still shocked to see her

"Well, I'm Linda Rosenthal, your blind date," she giggled.

He looked confused. "What do you know about my blind date?"

"Charlotte and I set this up. You never had a date with her friend's aunt. All along your date was with me."

"Charlotte?? _MY Charlotte?_ " Hutch stammered.

Juliana grinned. "Your Charlotte." The waiter came up to the table and took her drink order. When he left, she continued. "Charlotte came to see me. She proposed this idea of a blind date to me. She wanted to bring us together, and she asked that I come on this date with an open mind, to consider you as a potential romantic interest, not as my buddy."

Hutch's eyes darkened. He was angry, and she could see it. "I told her that I didn't want to contact you, Jul. I'm sorry that she meddled like this."

"I'm not sorry at all, Hutch. I'm glad she came to me." She reached out and placed a hand on top of his hand. "She tried to tell me what a wonderful man you are, called you a great father, sweet and kind and loving and generous..." Hutch started to object, still seething about his daughter, but Juliana stopped him. "Hear me out, Hutch." He sat back in his chair and gave her his full attention. The waiter brought her a glass of wine, and she took a drink before continuing. "I told her that she didn't need to tell me what a great guy you are. I told her I've loved you for twenty years."

Hutch gave a sad smile, and she saw a fleeting sorrow in his eyes.

Juliana said, "She started to tell me that she knew I loved you like a friend, but that she wanted me to give you a chance, to consider a romantic relationship with you." She squeezed his hand as she continued. "I told her, ‘Charlotte, I haven't just loved your father for over twenty years, I've been IN love with your father for over twenty years.'" She paused and watched for the words to register.

Hutch sat forward in his chair. "Jul, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you, Ken. I've loved you since the day I met you. I loved you both, you and David. I loved you equally."

"Jul, why didn't you TELL me??" Hutch demanded. He was holding tightly to her hand. "How could you keep this from me? You know how much I've loved you."

"I had to make a choice, Ken. I loved you both so much, but I had to choose. I knew David longer, I knew him better. I knew him more intimately."

He winced at the last word, and she instantly regretted her word choice. "I didn't mean it like that, Ken. I meant that I knew him on a deeper level, that he had opened up to me, shared so much of himself with me. I didn't know you that intimately until you left for Europe..."

"Our phone calls," he realized.

"Yes. By the time I started to know you like that, I was already engaged to David. I had made my choice, and I stood by it."

"But Jul, you should have told me," he insisted.

"For what purpose, Ken? If I had told you in the coffee shop that morning that I loved you too, would you have been able to accept my decision to be with Starsky?"

"No. I would have fought for you."

"And destroyed your friendship in the process?"

Hutch fell silent. He knew she was right. If he had known how she felt, he never would have accepted her choice to be with Starsky. He would have fought to win her heart, and have lost his best friend in the process.

Juliana resumed her point. "And what about that night in the billiards room? You asked me if I would ever consider a relationship with you if I were no longer with Starsky. If I had told you then that I loved you, would you have married Tammy?"

He dropped his eyes. "No."

"But you loved her, Ken. I know you did."

He nodded. "I loved her deeply."

"I couldn't let you throw that away on something than may never happen."

"But it should have been my decision to make, Jul." His voice was softer now.

Juliana shook her head. "With love comes responsibility, Ken. I had to take responsibility for my decisions. I couldn't let you throw away your best friend, or throw away a woman that you loved. I didn't have that right. By keeping my feelings to myself, you had a chance at love, at a real future, a family."

The waiter had returned to take their order. Their conversation was put on hold as they made their selections. Hutch watched Juliana interact with the waiter, and saw a sadness in her expression and in her carriage. His anger was gone, and he felt badly for not responding to her in a more positive manner. When the waiter had gone, he leaned forward and asked Juliana, "Tell me again what you said to Charlotte. Tell me your response after she was trying to sell you on what a great guy I was."

Puzzled, Juliana repeated the words. "I told her, ‘Charlotte, you don't have to sell me on what a great guy your father is. I have loved him for over twenty years.' She started to object, telling me that she knew that I loved you like a friend. I told her, ‘I haven't just loved your father for over twenty years, I've been IN love with your father for twenty years.'" She saw his face break into a huge smile. "I love you, Ken. I loved you the minute I met you, and I love you still today."

He grasped her by the arms and pulled her close. He kissed her with such strength and passion, all his heart and soul into one kiss. He could feel her trembling in his arms, and he softly ended the kiss. She looked into his eyes, all her love shining in her own, and stated breathlessly, "I didn't think it possible, but I think your kisses have improved over the years."

He laughed softly, "No, my kisses haven't improved. You aren't holding back anymore."

He saw the fire in her eyes, and Hutch thought about the last time they were together. "Jul, the last time I saw you, you shut the door in my face and didn't speak to me again. What happened?"

She grew pensive. "I was enjoying that night so much... I was happy and I was caught up in being with you. I had missed you so much when you were gone on tour, and I was thrilled you were back. When we got to my place, you were hugging me, and so physically close to me, I felt incredibly attracted to you. I _wanted_ you. When you said that you loved me, I wanted to say it back. But I was suddenly overcome with guilt. I felt like telling you that I loved you was like a betrayal to David. I wasn't over his death yet. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being unfaithful to him, disloyal to his memory. I just wasn't ready. It was too soon. After that, I pulled away from you, and from our mutual friends."

He took her hands in his. "I would have understood that, Jul. You could have told me." Then he asked, "Why didn't you ever come to me later and tell me how you felt?"

"I had pushed you away so many times," she replied with tears in her eyes. "You had let me walk away. I figured you had finally given up on me. Besides, it was easier to think that maybe you still loved me, than to find out for certain that you did not."

"I told you I would love you forever, Jul," he reminded her. She nodded, remembering his words.

"Ken, do you think we could give us a chance?" she asked him. "A relationship?"

Hutch smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Jul, are you asking me to go steady with you?"

She laughed. "I guess I am."

"You have to promise me something, Jul." She looked at him expectantly. He became very serious. "No more secrets. No more lies."

Juliana smiled. "No more," she agreed. He kissed her again, softly, gently. As he pulled back from the kiss, she asked, "Ken, will you take me home with you tonight?"

Chuckling, he responded, "You don't really think I would say no to an offer like that from you, do you?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't," she replied grinning.

Their dinner was served, and the two enjoyed a wonderful meal. When the meal was finished, the couple left the restaurant and Hutch suggested a secluded little lounge nearby that had a dance floor. The atmosphere was dark and romantic, and the music slow and flowing. They danced for hours, catching up on their past, getting to know each other all over again. It was late by the time they headed for home, both sleepy and happy.

Juliana stepped into his home, and immediately felt nervous. The last time she had been there was the night she passed out in Starsky's sweater on his bed. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Hutch went to the kitchen and came back with two wine glasses. He handed one to Juliana and said, "I know how much you like German wine..." She laughed at his reference to the night of the sweater, and felt her fears dissolve.

He put some soft music on the stereo and lit a fire, and the two curled up together on the sofa in front of the fireplace. It was comfortable and relaxed, and peaceful. Juliana looked at him with the firelight dancing in her eyes and he reached out and caressed her face. He slowly neared for a kiss, lips gently brushing hers, and her lips parted. He kissed her more forcibly, his hand buried in her hair grasping her curls tightly. She moaned as his hand slipped within her blouse, stroking her breast, and her hand slid up his inner thigh. He reached for her hand and stopped her before she reached her destination, and held it. "Come with me," he coaxed, rising from the couch. She followed him as he led her to his bedroom.

Standing beside the bed, he kissed her gently, then began to strip away her clothing. She tried to reach for him to undress him as well, but he stopped her, wanting nothing to distract from his task. He removed each piece of clothing slowly, savoring each moment, kissing her naked skin as it was exposed. She was trembling by the time he had finished, and hungry for him. When it was her turn, she undressed him in kind. When he stood before her completely naked, she dropped to her knees to take him in her mouth, but he pulled her to her feet and kissed her, pulling her down to the bed with the kiss. He entered her, and she arched her back, crying out in her pleasure. They made love long and slow, both climaxing nearly simultaneously, and collapsed spent in each other's arms.

Juliana awoke just before dawn. She watched Hutch sleeping, his long athletic body stretched out luxuriously beside her. She was hungry for him again, deciding to wake him up erotically. She kissed down his chest and his stomach lightly as he slept, finally reaching the matter of her interest, and took him in her mouth. She coaxed with her tongue as he responded to her touch. He arose from his slumber as he rose to her caresses. He half gasped half moaned, _"Juliana!"_ when he became mentally aware of her actions and she grinned in delight. He reached for her to pull her up from her task, but she pushed aside his hands. He surrendered to her ministrations with a pleasured groan, and allowed her to slowly and skillfully bring him to peak. After he climaxed, she stretched out beside him and laid her head on his chest as he folded his arms around her. He tilted her chin up and kissed her, murmuring with a sly grin, "Thank you, that's the best wakeup call I've ever gotten."

They both snuggled up and returned to sleep. Later he turned the tables, waking her up with mischievous fingers, and they resumed their playful lovemaking. The morning was getting late by the time they considered leaving the bed. "Are you hungry?" he asked her.

"I'm starved," she admitted. "Do you still remember how to make those fabulous Denver omelets?"

"Sure I do," he replied, "but I might not have the ingredients. You might just have to settle for French toast."

"Mmmmm, that sounds good too," she cooed.

He climbed from the bed and walked to the dresser. He found a pair of blue silk pajamas, and pulled the bottoms on. Juliana snatched the top and pulled it over her head. She stood up, and saw his face light with a smile. "You look cute in my pajamas!" He reached for her and kissed her, sliding his hands over the slippery cloth.

"You keep this up and we're not going to be having that breakfast," she giggled.

"I'm sorry partner," he released her. "I've got to get something to eat if I'm going to keep up with you!" He patted her on the backside and headed down to the kitchen.

"I'm going to jump in your shower," she called after him.

"Towels are in the tall cabinet," he called back. He opened the fridge and started to pull out the needed foods. Happily he found all that he needed to make the requested omelet. He was still chopping vegetables when his daughter burst through his front door.

"Good morning Dad!" she chirped. "How did it go last night?"

"Good morning, Bug!" He gave her a big grin. "It went very well!"

Charlotte dropped her purse and coat on his couch then came into the kitchen in search of a nibble. She snatched up a couple mushrooms, then went to take a seat at the breakfast bar. "Well, Dad, come on! Details! What happened last night?" She was all smiles.

Hutch was evasive, and enjoying her irritation with it. "I told you, it went very well."

She was proud of herself. "So tell me, do I set up good blind dates or what?"

He laughed. "Okay, Charlotte. I'll admit it. You did well. I'm still angry you went behind my back, against my wishes," he glared in her direction and she gave him a reasonably guilty look, "but I forgive you." Her smile bounced back immediately. He smiled at his precocious daughter. "Thank you, sweetheart."

"You're welcome Daddy," she beamed. "Now how did it go?"

He shook his head. She was a stubborn one. "We had a wonderful time. After dinner we went dancing."

"Did you kiss her goodnight?" Charlotte drilled. She hoped to hear details of a passionate kiss at the door.

Hutch looked at his daughter with innocent eyes and exclaimed, "Why no, I didn't!"

"Daddy!" Charlotte moaned. "How could you not kiss her goodnight? Geez Dad! You are so old fashioned!"

He laughed at his daughter's misery. "Charlotte, there are many ways to end a date, and a goodnight kiss is just one."

Juliana had finished her shower and towel dried her hair. She donned the pajama top and headed down the stairs to join Hutch in the kitchen when she heard Charlotte's voice. She stopped, uncertain if she should continue down the stairs.

"For crying out loud, Dad! If you didn't kiss her goodnight, then she's probably wondering what's wrong!"

Hutch laughed again, and Juliana smiled. She could tell he was teasing his daughter. "Trust me, Bug, Juliana doesn't think anything's wrong."

Charlotte shook her head. "I hope you call her today," she hinted.

"As a matter of fact, I have already spoken to her this morning." He admitted.

His daughter perked up. "Good! Do you have plans to see her again?"

"Definitely," he grinned. He tossed her another mushroom.

"You know what she told me?" she asked in a conspiratorial voice. Hutch looked up questioningly. "She said that if you had sent her a telegram..."

Juliana came down the stairs and startled Hutch's gossiping daughter. "Now Charlotte, didn't anyone ever tell you you're not supposed to mention the "m" word to a man? It scares him away!" Then she muttered under her breath, "You weren't supposed to tell him that!"

"Lee!" Charlotte cried in delight. "I didn't know you were here!" She cast a withering glance at her father.

"What ‘m' word?" Hutch asked confused. "And what's this about a telegram?"

"Oh, that wouldn't scare off my father," Charlotte reassured her with a snicker.

Hutch walked over and put his arm around Juliana. "What's this about a telegram?"

"It was nothing," she feigned innocence. "Nothing you'd be interested in."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "No secrets, no lies..." he reminded.

She sighed. "I give up." She took a seat beside Charlotte at the breakfast bar.

Charlotte continued her revelation. "She said that if you sent her a telegram today, sight unseen for all these years, and told her to meet you in Vegas because you wanted to marry her, she would be on the next flight out."

A brilliant smile lit up his face. "Is that so? I might just have to call your bluff on that one."

Juliana sat up straight and indignant. "Who's bluffing?"

Suddenly Charlotte's attention focused on Juliana's garment. "Lee, what are you wearing?" Then her eyes widened when she realized the woman was wearing her father's pajama top. "Lee! Did you spend the night here?!"

"She's quick, isn't she?" her father chortled.

Juliana nodded to Charlotte, who jumped off her stool and grabbed the woman in a big hug. "Oh this is great!!" she squealed. I can't wait to tell Maureen and Beth!" She jumped up and grabbed her purse.

"Don't run off, Bug," her father asked. "There's plenty of omelets for all of us."

"I can't stay," she responded happily. "I'm supposed to meet the gang for breakfast this morning at the Ham N Egger." Then she paused. "Lee, do you need a change of clothes? I have some things I left here when I moved out that might fit you."

Juliana grinned. "Sure! Let's see what you've got!" The two scooted off to Charlotte's bedroom. They emerged a short time later with Lee dressed in a pretty peasant skirt and blouse. The look suited her well.

Charlotte yelled, "Bye Daddy!" then hugged Juliana and scrambled out the door.

Hutch approached her with a plate of eggs, and kissed her on the cheek. "You look like an angel," he smiled.

She blushed at him and took the omelet. "Thank you." She joined him at the breakfast bar and they polished off the food.

Hutch took a quick shower and dressed. He came down to find Juliana walking barefoot through his garden, the dew from the grass glistening on her wet feet. He walked out and joined her, giving her another kiss. "Want to go for a drive?" he asked

"Where to?"

"There's someone I want you to meet," he replied mysteriously.

He drove for quite a while, finally ending up in front of a little jewelry store. He took her hand and escorted her in, only to be greeted by a short bald man with a booming voice and a strong accent. "Kenny! My boy! How are you?"

"Hello, Ben," Hutch beamed.

"I haven't seen you in... Oh! It's been too long. Come here and let me look at you!" He grasped Hutch in a bear hug and kissed him on each cheek.

"Jul, I want you to meet Ben. He's an old friend of mine, and an old boss. Ben, this is Juliana."

Ben looked at Juliana and took her hand in his. He kissed the back of her hand, declaring, "My dear, it is a real pleasure to meet you!" He stared at her in silence, then patted her hand. "Ken is like a son to me. I have no children of my own, so I borrow him as my adopted boy."

"I'm pleased to meet you, Ben," she said warmly.

Ben looked to Hutch and asked, "Ken, what brings you here today?"

Hutch cast a quick glance at Juliana, then stated confidently, "We're here to look at engagement rings Ben."

Juliana laughed, and swatted at Hutch's arm. "He's kidding you, Ben. We just stopped to say hello."

Hutch grabbed the hand that she swatted with and squeezed it. "I'm not kidding, Jul," he said seriously. "I want to buy you a ring."

She looked into his eyes, and saw the overwhelming love there as he smiled. She shook her head. "Ken, no, this is crazy..."

"I told you I would call your bluff," his eyes twinkled.

"I told you it wasn't a bluff," she retorted. Then she quickly added, "Ken, it's too soon! My god, we've only been a couple since yesterday!"

Ben chortled. "Ah, you two can't fool old Ben. You say this is a new love? No. This is not a new love." He shook his head. "I know love. Love is my business." He gestured his hands around the store. "I am an expert in love. I look at you two, and I know. This is not a new love. This love has been strong for, oh, fifteen years or more, right Ken?"

Hutch and Juliana exchanged shocked looks. "Did you tell him?" she gasped. Hutch shook his head.

"How did you know that?" Hutch asked.

Ben took Juliana's hand again. "And you, my dear. You were not free to love him. You loved another?" Wide eyed, Juliana nodded.

Ben cocked his head at her. "You were married?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"You had an affair with my Kenny?" he asked.

"Oh no!" Juliana exclaimed. "I did not cheat on my husband. I loved my husband very much. I loved Ken too. I loved them both, but I chose the other man." She was worried that these words would upset the man.

Ben's eyebrows raised. "You loved two men? You chose another man over my boy? This must be some man that you would choose him over my Kenny!"

Hutch laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Ben, Juliana was married to Starsky."

Understanding dawned on the older man's face. "Davey? She was married to my Davey?" He looked back to Juliana who nodded. He took both her hands, then kissed her on each cheek. "What a special woman you must be to earn the love of BOTH my boys." He gave her a broad smile. Juliana felt relief pour over her.

Then he asked her, "You love my Ken, yes?" She nodded. "You don't like that he wants to buy you a ring?"

"It's not that, Ben. I'm just worried that he is jumping into this without thinking. I don't want him to regret this."

"I'll never regret this, Jul." Hutch said softly.

They looked at each other, and Ben saw a long silent communication between the two. After a few moments, Juliana smiled. She turned to Ben and said, "Okay Ben, let's see those rings." Hutch embraced her and kissed her. "But we're having a long engagement," she insisted.

He shook his head and laughed. "You are a Starsky, all right. What is it with you people that you no like words? Words are good!"

Hutch laughed at his friend. "He used to say that to us all the time," he told Juliana.

After a long morning of examining rings, Juliana settled on a brilliant round cut, set in a band of channel set smaller stones. Ben had it sized, then handed it to Hutch in its box. Juliana reached for it, but he pulled the box away and tucked it into a pocket. "Not yet," he smiled.

Hutch turned to his old friend and asked, "Ben, how did you know that we had been in love such a long time?"

Ben smiled. "I told you. I know love." His eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Why do I get the feeling that there is more to this than that?" Hutch eyed him with suspicion.

"Always the cop," Ben clucked. "It was in the way you looked at each other. You two have a history. You do not look like a couple who just met."

Hutch cocked an eyebrow at him.

"And you forget," he said with a tilt of his head, "I am your biggest fan. I have all your albums. I know all the words to _Devastated_ , and I heard you call this lovely lady "Jul" when you came in!"

Juliana giggled. Hutch shook his head at his friend. "Ben! An expert on love, eh? An expert on my songs is more like it! You nearly had me going!"

"How did you know I wasn't free to love him?" Juliana asked. "That wasn't in the song."

Ben took her hand and held it up. "You have a tan line on your ring finger," he explained. "I could see you had been married." He added, "All those years ago, I tried to ask Ken about the song and the woman he called his jewel. He would not talk about it. I guessed then that he had been in love with a married woman. When he called you Jul, and I saw your finger, I just took a chance that I was right." He puffed himself up. "I was pretty close, no?"

"You should have been a cop yourself!" Hutch laughed.

The couple said their goodbyes to Ben and left. Hutch took Juliana to a park not far away with an enormous rose garden and a small lake filled with swans and geese. It was there that Hutch proposed to Juliana and she accepted. He slipped the ring on her finger and they kissed on a bench beside the roses and the swans.


	10. Chapter 10

"Charlotte, are you busy tonight?" Hutch asked his daughter on the phone. "Juliana and I were hoping you and Peter could come by... Sure, honey, that's fine... We'll expect you for dinner then... Thanks, Bug... Bye."

Hutch hung up the phone and started to dial Peter's number. "She'll be here in about an hour," he told Juliana. He proceeded to call his son's apartment and invited him as well.

"Can they both come?" Juliana asked.

"All set!" he said happily. "You ready to announce our engagement?"

"I'm a little nervous about meeting your son," she admitted. "Do you think he'll like me?" She was looking at his photo on the wall. He was a handsome young man with very long blond hair and his father's blue eyes. The photo was a serious pose, and the goatee did not show if he shared his father's smile.

Hutch laughed at her fears. "You don't have to worry about Peter, Jul. He'll love you." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck.

"Mmm," she purred. "Better let me go or we won't have a dinner to serve those children of yours..."

"Okay," he reluctantly released her. She headed to the kitchen to finish dinner while he set the table. When they both had things in order, Hutch pulled out his guitar and began playing for her. The time passed quickly until their guests arrived. Charlotte arrived first and was delighted to sit and listen to her father sing. Before long, Peter was ringing the doorbell.

"Jul, would you get the door?" Hutch asked. As she went to open it, Hutch exchanged conspiratorial looks with Charlotte. The two sat back to see the look on Juliana's face when she saw Peter. She opened the door, and froze. Standing before her was a younger version of Hutch. The resemblance was remarkable. Peter smiled at her, aware of how much he looked like his father. She saw Hutch's smile, and felt her nervousness flee.

"You must be Peter," she smiled back. "It's so good to finally meet you!"

Peter stepped in, and took her into a welcoming hug. "It's good to meet you too," he said in a familiar voice. He sounded exactly like Ken. Still smiling, he observed, "I can see my father didn't warn you about me. It must be quite a surprise to see how much I look like him."

Juliana gazed at the young man before her. He was so much like Hutch. The hair, the smile, the voice, everything was a striking resemblance to his father. But there was something very different about his son. "Yes, you do look like him," she mused. "But I can see that you are not like your father."

Peter's face lit up at her observation. Since cutting his hair and shaving his goatee, everyone had raved about the remarkable resemblance to his father. It was sometimes frustrating to have given up his individuality to that degree. This was the first person to point out that they were different, and he was pleased. "How am I different?" he inquired.

"Your eyes are the same shape and color," she noted, "but they do not have your father's intensity." He did lack the soulful look in his eyes that his father had, but instead they showed a lightness and a joy. She watched him walk over and sit next to his father on the couch. He walked with a smooth grace, and had an ease about him. His whole bearing was tranquil and soothing, and hinted of a man that was content with his life. "I can see you are much calmer than he, and more at peace, happier perhaps. You're probably much more laid back, and have a very spiritual nature."

"Dad, you told her about my nickname, didn't you," he chided with a grin.

"No, I didn't say a word," Hutch laughed. "She got that on her own."

"What's your nickname?" Juliana asked.

Charlotte piped in. "They call him Preacher," she giggled. "Or Grasshopper."

Preacher she could understand. He did seem to have a spiritual manner about him. Grasshopper intrigued her. "Why Grasshopper?"

Peter blushed. "There used to be a tv show on in the 70s about a man who was skilled in the martial arts..." he began.

Juliana laughed. "Kung Fu?" she guessed.

"Yes," Peter nodded. "They say I'm like the guy from Kung Fu."

"I see," she smiled. The nicknames were well chosen. Either caught his quiet and peaceable essence.

"You picked up on that from his eyes?" Charlotte inquired.

Juliana nodded. "That and the way he walks and carries himself."

"She's good," Charlotte exclaimed to her father. "She just described Peter to a t!"

"Yes, she has a good instinct about people," Hutch said with pride. He walked up to Juliana and put his arm around her. He gave her a kiss, and the two children exchanged pleased looks.

Hutch turned back to his children and announced, "Charlotte, Peter, we asked you to come over tonight because we are celebrating. Juliana and I have decided to get married."

"YES!" Charlotte cried. She immediately turned on her brother with an outstretched hand and declared, "Pay up, Grasshopper!" Peter laughed and shook his head as he withdrew his wallet. He tossed a bill into her wiggling fingers.

"Something tells me they expected this," Juliana giggled.

"What gives?" Hutch asked his kids.

Peter gave a guilty grin. "We had a bet. Charlotte said you would be engaged in less than a month. I guessed it would be later than that."

 

******************************************************************

 

A few weeks later, Juliana was in her doctor's office. She had been ill lately, and a concerned Hutch demanded that she see a physician immediately. A flu had hung on for several days, and she was losing weight and quite pale. The doctor examined her and ran some tests, then sent her on her way with a shocking diagnosis.

"Pregnant?" she exclaimed.

"Yes, pregnant," the doctor smiled.

Juliana was flabbergasted. "But doc, that's impossible! I'm infertile! I've been through all the tests, I can't have a child!"

"I assure you, you are pregnant. Infertile doesn't mean it's impossible. It's very unlikely considering your health issues, but definitely not impossible."

"Oh my god, what am I going to tell Ken?" she laughed. "This is going to blow him away!"

The doctor sat in his chair. "Is this not good news for you?"

"Good news? Yes, yes, it's wonderful news!" Then she added, "But it is rather shocking. I didn't think this was possible. Ken has two grown children that are moved out and on their own. How am I going to ask him to start all over? Gosh, we just got engaged!"

The doctor sat thoughtfully for a moment. "May I make a suggestion?" She nodded. "Give Ken the benefit of the doubt. He may be quite happy to be a father again." He pulled a photograph out of his wallet and handed it to her. "These are my children," he told her proudly. She examined the people in the snapshot and saw three adults and two small babies. She looked up at the doctor and smiled. He winked at her. "Yes, he just might surprise you."

She took the prescription he gave her for prenatal vitamins to the drug store. While she was waiting for them to be filled, she wandered down the baby aisle. Picking up a little box containing a pair of tiny lavender booties, she proceeded to the checkout.

Hutch came home from work to find her in the kitchen baking. "What did the doctor say?" he asked her.

"He said I'm fine, that it's something that will pass in time," she said truthfully. "Nothing serious." She poured him a glass of wine, and poured herself a wineglass full of apple juice, and joined him in the living room. He sat in the chair by the fireplace, and she curled up on the floor beside his chair. When he reached to put his glass on the table, he spotted a small wrapped box. "What's this?" he asked.

"It's a little surprise for you," she told him, nervously awaiting his reaction.

"Did I forget a special day?"

She shook her head. "No, it's just a surprise."

He smiled and unwrapped the small box. He looked at the little plastic box with the tiny booties inside then looked at Juliana confused.

She smiled, and raised her eyebrows.

"Jul! Are you pregnant?" he blurted. She nodded. He leapt to his feet and carefully helped her to her feet. He grabbed her tightly in a hug, overcome with excitement. "I thought you couldn't have children! How is this possible?"

"I didn't think I could either," she laughed. "The doc just told me it wasn't likely, but it wasn't impossible either. He said I'm definitely pregnant."

He kissed her and hugged her again. "This is wonderful!"

"You're okay with this?" she asked.

He looked at her and saw the concern in her expression. "Jul, did you think I wouldn't be happy about this? Of course I'm happy! I'm thrilled! Why would you think this wouldn't be good news? You know I love kids."

"I was worried because your kids are all grown and out of the house. Now I'm asking you to start all over again. Late nights, diapers..."

"Burping, bottles..." he added smiling.

"Bottles? Don't you think we ought to breastfeed?" she grinned.

He hugged her again. "Yes, that's a great idea." He kissed her. "I love you, Jul."

"I love you too."

"Hey, we need to push that wedding date up," he stated. "I'm gonna make an honest woman out of you."

"No long engagement?" Juliana pouted.

"How about I send you a telegram," he joked. "We could head to Vegas this weekend."

"Ah ha!" she cried. "You just got me knocked up so you could rush me into marriage, didn't you!"

"Alright, I admit it," he chuckled. "You got me. So do I get my way?"

"I could never say no to you."

 

******************************************************************

 

The pair snuck off to Las Vegas to be married in a quiet ceremony with Peter and Charlotte in attendance. Peter acted as best man and Charlotte was the maid of honor. They made a family event of it, celebrating not only the marriage but the new addition to the family that was on the way. Peter and Charlotte were delighted with the news, and couldn't wait to meet their new sibling.

Hutch's music career was doing well. He had worked on another album, and was working with Anita to schedule another tour. Reluctantly, he had to accept her wishes for a tour prior to the baby's arrival. With the new album being released they did not want to delay the tour any more than necessary. He pushed to leave as soon as possible in order to be back in town prior to the baby's birth. Anita tried to do what she could, but there were concert dates close to Juliana's anticipated delivery date.

Hutch made arrangements with his children to take turns staying with Juliana until his return. She balked at the idea, but Hutch insisted. Peter and Charlotte were happy and enthusiastic about helping out. Charlotte stayed during the first two months and Peter stayed during the final two. Charlotte agreed to help decorate the baby's room during her stay, and they had gotten everything prepared.

Peter was in the midst of finals during the final weeks of Hutch's tour, so Charlotte insisted that he only stay during the weekends, much to Peter's dismay and Hutch's disapproval. Peter did not feel right leaving her alone, and ended up calling and stopping by on a daily basis to check up on her. He accompanied her on her doctor appointments as well. All was progressing smoothly.

Juliana attended to her last doctor's appointment before Hutch was to return. Everything was fine, and she showed no signs of the baby coming yet. She sent Peter on his way after he dropped her off, and told him that he would not need to return. Peter had an exam approaching and took advantage of the opportunity to cram for his test.

He got back to his apartment, and hit the books. After a few hours, he started to get restless, and gave up on the material before him. He fixed something to eat and jumped in the shower, but could not bring himself to focus his attention on his books any longer. In need of a change of pace, he decided to call Juliana and see if she would mind some company. He dialed her number, only to get her answering machine. It seemed odd to him that she wasn't home, and uneasiness settled on him. He grabbed his jacket and his keys and headed for his father's home, fearful that something was amiss.

Peter pulled into the driveway and used the garage door opener that his father had left for him, only to find Juliana's car was sitting in its usual place. He was certain something was wrong now as he rushed into the house calling Juliana's name. Juliana cried out from the kitchen, and Peter rushed around the counter to find her sprawled on the ceramic tile floor, clasping her belly and crying in pain.

 "Lee! What happened?" Peter was at her side instantly, cradling her head into his lap. Her face and hair were soaked with perspiration and she was panting for breath. He stroked her cheeks, pulling the damp curls aside.

"Peter," she gasped, "I'm in labor. My water broke."

"It's all right Lee," he said in a calm and soothing tone. "I'll help you. I'll get you to my car." He started to pick her up when she abruptly stopped him.

"I'm afraid we won't have time! The baby is coming!" Juliana was scared, and she was starting to cry again.

"Lee, it's okay. We'll handle this." Peter pulled off his coat and put it around her shoulders, gently easing her down. "I'm going to call for an ambulance. Let's hope the paramedics can get here quickly." She nodded, looking a little less frightened.

Peter brought the phone to the floor and dialed 911, and calmly explained their predicament. The emergency operator, Amy, asked him several questions then warned him that he was likely going to be the one to deliver this baby.

"Amy, you are teasing me aren't you?" The words terrified the young man, but he swallowed his fear to put on a calm front for his stepmother. Amy assured him that she was not teasing him. He instructed her to hold the line and he ran to get blankets and pillows to make Juliana more comfortable. Then he placed the phone on speaker mode, and continued his conversation with the dispatcher, who had also patched in the paramedics. Gently he explained to Juliana that the two of them may have to deliver this baby with the aid of the 911 technicians over the phone.

Juliana was upset, and began to panic. "Peter no! I can't have this baby now! I need Ken here! I can't have this baby without him!!"

Peter rolled up his sleeves and took Juliana by the hands. "We can do this Lee," he said locking on her eyes. His voice was very soothing. "You and I can do this. The baby can't wait."

"I NEED KEN!" she cried out, wracked with another contraction. Peter wiped her forehead with a damp towel, allowing her to crush his other hand in a vice grip, doing what he could to make her more comfortable until the contraction passed.

"Lee, look at me," Peter said softly. "Look at my eyes." He waited for her to lock onto his gaze. "I am Ken's son, and I have my father in me. You can see that in my eyes, can't you?" She nodded, her crying tapering off. "My father is here with you, through me. Ken is here. Can you feel him here, Jul?" He used his father's nickname for her deliberately. She nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks, but the sobbing had stopped. "The baby needs you, Jul, and I need you to help me. Can you help me?" She nodded. He kissed her on the forehead, relieved that she was responding to him.

The action was so much like his father that she smiled in response. He took her hands again and began to sing to her. He started singing The Dutchman, the only song from his father's albums that he was certain he knew the lyrics to.

_The Dutchman's not the kind of man_   
_Who keeps his thumb jammed in the dam_   
_That holds his dreams in,_   
_But that's a secret that only Margaret knows._

_When Amsterdam is golden in the summer,_   
_Margaret brings him breakfast,_   
_She believes him._   
_He thinks the tulips bloom beneath the snow._

_He's mad as he can be, but Margaret only sees that sometimes,_   
_Sometimes she sees her unborn children in his eyes._

_Let us go to the banks of the ocean_   
_Where the walls rise above the Zuider Zee._   
_Long ago, I used to be a young man_   
_And dear Margaret remembers that for me._

After one verse, she was smiling, and the tears had disappeared. She had a determined look in her eyes.

"Okay, Peter, let's do this," she said through gritted teeth, and a contraction took hold of her again.

Amy talked them through the delivery, her voice choked with emotion after listening to Peter speak to Juliana.

"Peter, how old did you say you were?" Amy inquired.

"I'm eighteen," Peter replied.

"Good God," Amy said under her breath. "You seem much older than that. You're doing great there, son. Now you need to have her push again..."

Peter tried to coax Juliana to push, but she was exhausted. "I can't, Peter," she whimpered. "I'm too tired. I don't have anything left..."

He looked at her with quiet determination. "Jul, you can do this. I know how strong you are. Push for me, push for Ken, push for this baby. The baby needs you, Jul."

With that last sentence, Juliana didn't hear Peter's voice, she heard Hutch's. She gathered herself up for another push, and looked for his eyes. Once she caught them, he smiled and she pushed with all that she had.

"It's a boy!" Peter cried out.

He gently wrapped the crying infant in a blanket. He used a towel to clean the baby off for his mother's first sight of him. He didn't realize he had tears streaming down his cheeks as he smiled at Juliana. He handed her her new son. She unbuttoned her blouse to offer the baby his first meal at her breast. Peter sat back on his heels, in awe of the sight.

"Peter, the paramedics are almost there," Amy informed him. "You did an amazing job." Peter and Juliana could hear clapping in the background on the phone.

"Thank you Amy," Peter called to her. "What's all the clapping?"

"I had you on speaker here too," Amy laughed. "All the dispatchers are celebrating your success here! We all think you were incredible under pressure."

"Incredible?" Peter gasped. "Amy, I was terrified!"

There was laughter on her end from the other technicians. "We couldn't have guessed Peter; you were the picture of calm."

"Amy, I want to meet you!" Peter exclaimed. "I want to thank you in person! Will you come to meet me?"

Amy laughed again. "I can't Peter. We aren't allowed to fraternize with our clients. It's against the rules. I appreciate your offer though."

"If you change your mind," Peter persisted, "You know what hospital I will be at."

He watched Juliana feeding the baby, noticing how tired she looked. He positioned himself behind her so that she could lean into him for support. Looking at his baby brother over her shoulder, he grinned, "He's got your dark curls, Lee."

There was a knock at the front door. Peter called out, "Come on in!" The paramedics rushed in to find Juliana leaning back in Peter's arms, breastfeeding her newborn son.

"Looks like we missed all the fun!" one of them joked.

Peter backed away so they could take care of Juliana and the baby. He took the phone off speaker to say his goodbyes to Amy, thanking her sincerely for walking him through the birth. Then he dialed Anita to find out how to get in touch with his father. Hutch was traveling, but Anita promised to locate him and bring him to Bay City immediately.

The paramedics had Juliana prepped and ready for the ambulance. Peter followed the ambulance with Juliana's bags, purse and cell phone. On the way he called Charlotte and briefly explained the baby's arrival. She agreed to meet him at the hospital, threatening him with torture if he didn't fill her in with the details the moment she got there.

Peter was crumpled into a chair in the waiting room, completely consumed by the day's events. A pretty young nurse crept up, laying a hand upon his shoulder. Peter started. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hutchinson," the nurse stammered. "I didn't mean to startle you. I received a call from Amy at 911. She's a friend of mine. She said you would be here and that I should look after you. I see you are tired and your clothes are a mess. I think a shower and change of clothes might be in order. Will you come with me?" She slipped a styrofoam cup of coffee into his hands and led him down the hall to an employee lounge.

"What's your name?" Peter inquired.

"I'm Roberta," the nurse smiled. "The showers are over to your right. Help yourself to whatever you find in the kitchenette. Sometimes you get lucky and there are home baked goods."

Peter thanked her and proceeded to take advantage of the offered resources. His soiled clothes were uncomfortably damp as well. The shower did him wonders. He didn't realize how tense he was until he got under the hot stream of water. Emerging from the shower, he found that his own garments had vanished. There were clean doctor scrubs in their place, so he donned the fresh clothing. Roberta had been right; there were fresh loaves of delicious zucchini bread on the counter, along with a pot of fresh coffee. By the time he left the lounge, he felt renewed.

Charlotte appeared minutes after he resumed his seat in the waiting room. He filled her in on all the details of the day, describing to her the awesome experience of seeing the birth of their brother. While telling his tale, his eyes grew misty, his face filled with joy.

"Peter, that is so exciting! I'm glad you found her when you did. Why didn't she call you sooner?"

"Things happened so quickly," he explained. "She came to the kitchen to phone me but collapsed in pain. When I called her she couldn't get up to answer the phone."

Charlotte shook her head. "She's lucky you came. She must have been scared to death."

He laughed. "She was scared all right. I'm sure it didn't help to realize that I was going to play midwife for her."

Roberta returned to show the pair to Juliana's room. On the way she explained that she took his clothes to the hospital's laundry room. He would soon have his own attire returned to him freshly cleaned.

They walked into Juliana's room to find her happily awaiting them. They all laughed about the baby's speedy arrival, praising Peter for his grace under stress. They chatted while getting to know the baby, taking turns holding him, commenting on his hair. Now that he was clean and dry, his head was covered with long dark curls. "I'll be giving him his first haircut before he leaves the hospital," Charlotte joked.

Juliana was in great spirits, recovering well from her home delivery. The baby was in excellent health as well, with a hearty appetite. Peter offered to change his diaper, the first time he had attempted such a task. Charlotte teased him affectionately as he did so.

A tentative knock on the door caught their attention. Standing in the doorway was a petite woman with straight blonde hair and pretty blue eyes.

Charlotte was on her feet, approaching the woman. "Can I help you?" she offered.

"Is this Juliana Hutchinson's room?" the woman asked.

"That's me," Juliana smiled. There was something oddly familiar about this woman. She felt instantly at ease with her.

"Mrs. Hutchinson," the woman began, her eyes drawn to Peter, "my name is Amy. I was the 911 dispatcher that worked with you today."

Peter leapt to his feet, beside the woman in an instant. "Thank you for coming, Amy!" he spoke with delight.

"Peter!" she grinned. "I had to meet you. I'm so glad you are here!"

Juliana and Peter introduced Amy to Charlotte, describing the indispensable help the woman had given them when they so desperately needed it. Amy expressed her pleasure that the mother and baby were doing so well, dismissing their gushing over her aid.

"I brought something for you, Lee," Amy told her. She handed her a cassette tape. "It's a copy of the 911 call today. Since your husband missed the birth, I thought he would like to hear a recording of it." She turned her attention to Peter. "He ought to hear what a remarkable job his eldest son did in helping his youngest son into the world."

Peter blushed crimson.

"Let's get a tape recorder!" Charlotte cried.

Amy interrupted, "I already spoke to my friend Roberta. She is trying to find one for you as we speak."

"I met Roberta," Peter stated. "Thank you for sending her to me. She was very kind." Amy nodded in reply. "Will you let me take you out to dinner Amy? I want to thank you properly."

"No Peter," she shook her head as she prepared to leave. "You don't owe me any thanks. I was just doing my job. I'm just glad I finally got to meet you. In my line of work we deal with crisis every day, but we seldom meet someone who is as calm or as compassionate in a tense situation as you were. And how extraordinary to find these qualities in someone so young! It was a pleasure to work with you today."

Peter wrapped her in a big bear hug. As she started to leave, Juliana called to her, "Amy wait! Please, won't you come to dinner at my home next Sunday? I would like to introduce you to my husband. I'm sure he will want to thank you personally for the tape."

Amy smiled at the invitation, but declined. "Juliana, I don't want to be an imposition. You don't need to be playing hostess when you are recovering from childbirth. Tell you what; I am a big fan of your husband's music. Why don't you ask him to send a copy of his latest album to me at the dispatch unit? I'll trade him my recording for one of his. Okay?"

Disappointed, Juliana agreed. They all said their goodbyes, and Amy left the hospital room.

"I'm sorry she's not coming," Peter complained after she had gone.

 Juliana, Charlotte and Peter were all enjoying getting to know the newest family member when Hutch strode through the door carrying a huge bouquet of balloons. "Jul, I'm sorry I wasn't here," he said as he scooped her into a tight embrace.

"It's okay, partner, I had a lot of help," she smiled, nodding her head in Peter's direction.

"Anita tells me you helped deliver the baby," Hutch grinned at his eldest son.

Peter looked at the baby in his arms and replied softly, "Dad, it was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced. It was like watching a miracle." He looked up at his father, the awe still shining in his blue eyes.

"He was wonderful, Hutch," Juliana added. "He was so courageous! He never backed down, just jumped in to help and saw us through. And he was able to calm me down, which was no small feat."

Hutch clapped Peter on the back and said, "Thank you, Son."

 

"The 911 dispatcher brought you a tape of their phone call, Daddy," Charlotte informed him. "It's a recording of the birth. One of the nurses is trying to find a tape recorder so that you can listen to it." Hutch was excited and pleased. After hearing of the dispatcher's request for an album, he decided to deliver it personally, the album inscribed with his thanks.

Peter handed the baby to his father. "Hello little one!" Hutch murmured softly.

"You're going to have to pick a name, Daddy," Charlotte complained.

Hutch looked to Juliana. They communicated silently for a moment. Juliana nodded with a grin, causing a huge smile to break out on Hutch's face. "Kids, this is David Michael," he announced.

Suddenly Hutch paled. He slowly sat down on the edge of Juliana's bed. A memory came flooding back to him.

_"MY CHILDREN? How many?"_

_"Two. No wait, **three!** I forgot the baby..."_

_"I'm going to have three children?"_

_"Yeah, at least. And the two older ones look just like ya," Starsky laughed. "Poor little things. I don't know about the baby, I only saw a glimpse of it as a newborn."_

Hutch had forgotten the long ago prediction. He dragged a hand over his face, trying to hide his shaking hands.

_"You know, if it's a boy I'm going to name him after you."_

_"No. Don't do that Hutch."_

_"Why not?"_

_"I don't want you naming anyone after me. At least **not while I'm still alive**." _

The truth dawned on him. Starsky knew that he and Juliana would end up together.

_"I knew I had to fight. I knew I had to come back. If I didn't, it would break a chain of events. The images showed me that my life is connected to yours, and to Lee's, and to others. We are all connected. My surviving the shooting was a small part of a big picture. It made me want to come back. I wanted to fight. **I had something to fight for. Not just for me, but for you...** "_

The realization shook him up. Starsky knew. He knew that he was going to die; he knew that his best friend and his wife would end up as lovers; he knew that they would marry and have a child together. Starsky had not only accepted this, but wanted it to happen. He could have died after Gunther's bullets struck him down, but instead he fought to come back and ensure that this future took place as he had been shown.

Juliana noticed his pallor. "Ken? Are you all right?"

He smiled. "Sure, I'm just tired," he lied.

He looked down at his son's face. A single tear streaked down Hutch's cheek. There was immense love in his eyes as he watched his son. Love for his newborn son, and love for the friend that knowingly fought death and pain and frustration to assure his happiness and his son's life.

"I love you David Michael," Hutch spoke softly to them both.

 

_The End._

 

 _The Dutchman_ was written by Michael Smith.


End file.
